


You Can Call Me Sir

by Grizi



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-14
Updated: 2013-12-09
Packaged: 2017-12-23 12:36:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 45
Words: 61,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/926502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grizi/pseuds/Grizi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sam is brutally raped by a relative stranger; Jack helps her start to sort things out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILERS: Many minor from Season 1-3 up to and including “Shades of Gray”, Major portions of Season 3-4 episodes  
> RATING: PG-13 or NC-17 (depending on the part)  
> CONTENT WARNINGS: Graphic sexual content, sex, non-con sex, some language
> 
> This is an ongoing, nearly continuous EPIC fic for most of the Stargate SG-1 from the end of Season 3 and continuing on through the end of the series (hopefully). It sticks as close and true to canon as absolutely possible while still providing for the beautiful relationship we all knew was always there...
> 
> Still no idea how many chapters...it is still quite heavily a work in progress and gets left by the wayside when the Muse (or Muses) decide to jump to another project. There's plenty to keep y'all busy reading, I promise! I will update with 5-10 chapters a week until I get caught up to where I am writing.
> 
> STATUS: In-progress  
> DISCLAIMER: No sorry. In my dreams, Stargate SG-1 and its characters would be mine, but they are totally the property of Showtime, double secret production, Gekko Productions, MGM/UA. (WAAAA) No infringement or copyright intended.
> 
> Any and ALL comments are greatly appreciated, loved and adored!!!!

           Jack knew she was pissed at him.  Sam, Major Samantha Carter, had every right to be pissed.  Hell, he was pissed at himself. _‘No one gets left behind’_ How many times had he told his team that little gem?  Hundreds?  Thousands?  Who knows?  And one little asteroid burying a Stargate and a little Edoran hooch and he was in bed with a woman he hardly even knew.

           He knew Carter was pissed at him for giving up.  He had . . . and he knew it.  He had given up on her and the whole SGC.  He had “mourned” for one hundred days and then just when he’d decided to give up his life on Earth, Teal’c had been found buried just above the Stargate’s event horizon trying to dig his way to the surface.  Sam had found a way to get Jack home, just as he should have expected.

           Then, he had no sooner gotten home when Thor and his buddies had needed Jack’s help.  He had been ordered, by the President himself to tell no one, not even the team he trusted with his life beyond all measure that he was going “rogue” to catch some traitors.

           He knew Teal’c understood.  Teal’c was a warrior.  He understood what it meant to follow orders of superiors even if you didn’t like them.  Jack also knew that Daniel forgave him.  Daniel may not have understood why Jack had had to sever all ties with the team.  But they’d talked about what happened and laughed at the stupidity of Jack’s superiors.  Daniel had forgiven him for the awful things Jack had had to say to get rid of Daniel that he hadn’t wanted to say and had not meant.

           With Carter, it was different and difficult.  She’d taken it personally.  She thought he couldn’t trust his Second in Command enough to tell her the truth, the rule be damned.  He didn’t understand why her brilliant, military mind couldn’t accept that orders were orders, but he knew that for Sam, the black ops hadn’t been the major problem.  Her problem had been his giving up on her, on the team.  She’d taken it personally that he hadn’t been able to put his faith in her to get him home.

           He glanced at his clock over the fireplace. 0900.  He had two hours before he was supposed to meet with Carter at her apartment.  He knew it was going to be hell waiting.  He spent the next 25 minutes puttering around the house to keep him busy.  His house was already spotless and he’d finished all the projects he’d put on his “to-do” list the night before.

           “For cryin’ out loud!” he yelled in the empty house, “This is ridiculous!”

           Grabbing his keys, he headed out to his truck.  Hanging around his house and bouncing off the walls would only serve to drive him nuts.  Besides, Carter never slept in.  Might as well get this over with as soon as possible.

 

            Jack stood on the doorstep to Sam’s apartment building.  He was over an hour early and now he was nervous.  What if she was still sleeping?  She was on down time; it would be logical to sleep in.  What if she didn’t really want to talk to him?  She had a habit of avoiding a subject she didn’t want to discuss, just like her CO.  That’s what had gotten them into this mess in the first place.  What if she had company?  Jack stopped his “What if-ing” at that thought.  Carter?  A boyfriend?  He knew it could happen.  Hell, the woman was beautiful. He just had never taken the time to think about Carter with anyone, except…

 

            The shot rang out over his head.  His heart stopped at the eerie silence that followed.  The day Charlie had shot himself flashed through his mind.  Almost instinctively, he knew the shot had come from Carter’s apartment.

            _‘God, NO,’_ he thought as he found himself flying first to his truck to retrieve his pistol and then up the steps two at a time. _‘Not her, too.  Not this way.  Dear God, not her.’_

            The mantra continued in his head until he reached her door.  He stopped.  Could he handle what he found in there?  He knew he’d have to, but he silently prayed for some other explanation for the shot…something, anything other than her death.

            His breath froze at the implication of his thoughts.  He knew he cared about her, but what was this thought?  He didn’t know and at the moment, he _couldn’t_ care.  He had to find out if Sam was okay first.

            “Carter!” he yelled, “You okay?”  He started pounding on the door, “Dammit, Carter, answer me!  Open the damn door!” 

When there was no response, he backed up and placed a well-aimed kick to the door latch.  It flew open, banging on the wall behind it.

            “Carter!” he yelled again, “I’m in your apartment!  Let me know you’re okay!”  When he got no response again, he started searching the small apartment.

            “Carter?  You okay?” he called out desperately, “Answer me, Carter, please!” but there was no answer forthcoming.

            “Sam?” he finally asked quietly as he stepped into what was obviously her bedroom.

            Immediately in front of him, about five feet from the bed and face down in what could only be a pool of oozing blood was a male figure.  He bent down and felt for a pulse.  Nothing.  Dead.  Not knowing or caring who he was, he looked for Sam.  He saw her on the bed, curled into the fetal position.  He stepped over the body of the dead man and rushed to her.

            She was messed up.  She couldn’t breathe.  He could tell these two things before he even reached her side.  He saw the bruises on her face and back and legs.  He heard her breath rattle painfully.  She had at least one broken rib and probably a punctured lung.  He’d heard that sound from himself before.  That diagnosis had always been the result.  She was clutching her service pistol to her chest with her right hand.  Her left arm was turned at a weird angle, obviously broken.

            “Sam?” he said quietly.  With the gun in her hand, he didn’t want to scare her into shooting herself or him.  He was also a little scared she couldn’t answer.

            “Sam . . . Major . . .” he called a little louder, “Major Carter.”

            No response other than the continued raspy breathing.  Pulling his cell phone from the pocket of his leather jacket, he quickly dialed 9-1-1 to call the paramedics.  As soon as he was assured that they were on their way, he hung up and called Dr. Janet Frasier.

            “Hey Doc,” he said gravely, “Carter’s hurt real bad.  Ambulance is on the way.  We’ll meet you at the hospital.”

            It was all Jack could say as he watched his injured Major struggle to breathe.

            “Hold on, Sam.  You gotta fight,” he said as he eased the revolver from her lifeless hand, “You gotta stay strong.”

            He carefully pulled the blanket over her naked body.

            “Help’s on the way.”


	2. Chapter 2

“A bruised femur, three broken ribs, a broken arm, a fractured jaw, and contusions and bruising over nearly three quarters of her body...” Janet stated flatly, ushering Jack into the secluded waiting area, “She’s very lucky you found her when you did, Colonel.  Two of her ribs punctured her left lung.  If you hadn’t gotten her to the hospital when you did, she would have stopped breathing all together.

“She’s going to need an extended physical recovery time.  Currently, she’s in a coma due to the head trauma, which is not entirely all bad.  Her body needs time to heal.  But…”

“But, Doc?  Oh, I hate it when you say but…” Jack said with only a trace of his sardonic humor, “But what?”

“Well, Colonel,” Janet started softly, “Physically, she’s going to be okay, eventually.  But,” Jack rolled his eyes and she hurried on, “but emotionally, depending on what she remembers, she’s going to be a wreck.”

“And that would be because...?” Jack asked.  He was pretty sure he knew the answer.  He’d seen her state of undress when he’d arrived, but he didn’t want to voice it himself.

“That would be,” Janet said, tears gathering in her eyes, “because this guy she shot raped and sodomized her brutally, before he beat the hell out of her.  She’s been torn up pretty badly.”

“What?!” Jack asked, stunned.  His knees buckled and he was glad there was a chair behind him.  He collapsed into it gratefully.

“Sir, other than the physical proof of this, we really don’t understand what happened or why.”

“I’ll tell you what happened,” Jack growled, “The bastard raped her, beat the crap out of her and probably would have killed her if she hadn’t shot him first.  The son of a bitch is lucky she killed him.  I would have . . .”

Jack stopped.  His terror at hearing the shot, the horror of finding her broken and bloody body, and the devastation of knowing how badly Sam had been abused hit Jack like a two-ton truck.  Jack O’Neill, resident son of a bitch at Cheyenne Mountain, suddenly broke down and began to cry.

 

Janet looked around.  For once in her medical career, she was at a loss as to her next course of action.  Colonel O’Neill was sobbing, actually sobbing.  The S.O.B. who’d tragically lost his son and subsequently his wife, his best friend and numerous soldiers under his command had never shown such grief.  She knew part of it was shock and suspected what the other part was, but she really didn’t know what to do next.

She was saved from having to comfort the Colonel by the arrival of Daniel Jackson.  Daniel hurried down the hallway toward them, a look of concern on his face.

“Janet?” he said, obviously distracted by the sobs still coming from Jack.

“Daniel,” she said in greeting, “Sam’s in bad shape.  She’s got several broken bones and is currently in a coma,” pulling Daniel to the side and lowering her voice she continued, “. . . and she was raped . . . The Colonel’s taking it pretty hard.  He found her.”

With a pat of her hand and a simple nod, he relieved her of her burden.

“Go take care of Sam,” he ordered with tears in his eyes, “Jack will be okay with me.”

With a soft smile and a nod in return, Janet left Daniel to comfort the Colonel with a sigh of relief.

 

Squatting down in front of Jack, Daniel saw the desolation in the other man’s posture.  He’d never seen Jack sobbing.  He’d seen a tear or two slide down Jack’s cheek when he’d seen Ska’ara taken as host to Klor’el, but with all the tragedy they’d both seen in the last four years, he’d never seen Jack lose control.  He doubted Jack even knew he was there.  This was serious.

“Jack? Hey,” Daniel smiled softly, the tears gathering in his own eyes, “uh . . . how ya doin’?”

Jack lifted his head from his hands to glance at Daniel.  Daniel almost jumped away at the pain, despair and rage he saw in Jack’s eyes for only a moment before Jack swiped the tears from his face angrily and sucked in a calming breath.

“How am I doing?” Jack mimicked, “Do you even need to ask?  Jesus, Daniel, you should have seen her.  She was barely recognizable as my . . . our Sam.  He beat her so badly, and . . . and . . .”

“And he raped her,” Daniel said softly, “Janet told me.”

“Christ, Daniel, she’s in a coma.  Sometimes people don’t come out of those things,” Jack sighed, “I don’t know what I’d do if . . .”

“Jack, hey,” Daniel said, grabbing one of Jack’s hands to get his attention, “She’ll make it.  You have to have hope--” at Jack’s rude snort and his pulling away, Daniel continued, “Stop it!  Sometimes, Jack, all you’ve got to go on is hope!  I know.  If you can’t or don’t believe when there’s nothing else, it’ll drive you nuts.  It’s shitty, I know.  Especially for you.”

Jack looked at Daniel warily.

”What the hell do you mean by that?” he asked roughly.

“Jeez, Jack, get your head out of your ass!” Daniel retorted not without a little amusement, “A woman you care about . . . hell, I’m just gonna say it, the woman you love is stuck in that hospital bed in a coma beat to hell by someone none of us knew.  Since she had the wherewithal to kill him, there’s not a damn thing you can do except sit here and wait like the rest of us ‘normal’ folks and worry.  You’re a man of action who can’t stand waiting or worrying.  But I’m sorry, my friend, waiting and worrying and having a little hope are--”

“Sam’s awake!” Janet interrupted joyously.

“—What . . . you’re not going to have to do,” Daniel finished with a grin, “See, Jack,” he smirked, “Hope.  It’s powerful stuff.”

Jack smiled.

“Yeah,” he said, “I see.”

“Sir?” Janet said, “Sam’s asking for you . . . You can go in, but not too long . . . and don’t let her talk too much.  She’s going to need to have her jaw wired . . .” seeing Jack frown, she continued, “Not talking would be the least painful thing for her, sir.”

“Yeah . . . okay,” Jack said distractedly, focusing on the door across the hall, “Can I go in now?”

“Yes, sir,” Janet smiled, “Go ahead.”

 

Sam opened her eyes slowly when she heard the click of the door.  Simultaneously, she heard the beeping of a heart monitor and realized she was alive, and better yet, safe.  Her heart knew the footsteps she heard were Jack’s, but her brain insisted it was Jake, the man that had hurt her.

“No! No!” she screamed through the pain in her jaw, “Go ‘way!  I shot you!  You’re s’posed to be dead!  Go away!”

Her tears started falling as images of Jake’s fists coming at her face flashed through her mind.  Even though the sharp pains in her ribs told her not to, she couldn’t stop the sobs as she recalled being raped repeatedly throughout the morning.

 

“Sam,” Jack said, desperately trying to swallow that lump growing in his throat, “It’s okay.  He’s dead.  It’s me, Jack.”

Jack knew her terror was of a remembered image, not of him.  He’d gone through the same experience when they’d finally rescued him from that hellhole in Iraq.  He’d nearly killed one of his saviors, even in his weakened condition, because his brain would not let go of the torture he’d endured.

“Take it easy, Sam,” he continued softly as he stepped closer, “It’s over, now.  He’s dead.  You killed him.  He won’t ever hurt you again.”

He saw the moment her fuddled brain woke up.  Recognition dawned in her tortured eyes.

“Colonel?” she asked dazedly.

“Sh-h-h,” he said gently with a smile, “Yeah, Carter, it’s me and you’re not supposed to be talking.  So shut it before Doc Frasier comes in and kicks me out, ‘k?”

“Yessir,” she slurred.

“Now Carter, do I have to make that an order?” he asked with a grin, guiltily happy to hear her voice, however slurred by drugs and pain.

This time she replied only by slightly shaking her head no as she wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand.

“Good,” he smiled fully now.

He moved to her side and pulled the chair closer to her.  Sitting down, he looked at her more seriously now.

“You scared me, Carter,” he admitted with a sigh.

Sam reached out to him with her right hand, the question in her eyes.  He grabbed her hand before he continued, looking at their hands entwined.

“I-I don’t know if Doc told you, but I’m the one that found you,” he said hesitantly, “I was outside your building when I heard . . . heard the shot.  God, Carter, I’ve been through that f-feeling twice . . .” he stopped and took a deep breath, “I . . . I don’t know what I would have done if I’d l-lost you, too.”

He looked up at her with tears in his eyes and was surprised to see fresh tears in hers.

“I’m so sorry this happened, Sam,” he said intently, “While I’m at it, I’m sorry I let you down.”

She frowned slightly and he continued quickly.

“I know this isn’t really the right time for this, but I gotta say it before it gets ignored again.  I know you’ve been pretty pissed at me these past few weeks.  It’s been pretty obvious.  I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you what was going on with the NID mission.”

She squeezed his hand and shook her head.  He sighed.  She had understood.  Good.

“Also,” he continued again, “I’m sorry I didn’t have faith in you.  I know I let you down there, too.  I should have known that you’d get me home from Edora.  I should have known that you would never give up until you got me home.  I’m sorry I gave up on you.  I should have known . . . should have remembered that Major Samantha Carter was on the case; that the most intelligent, most knowledgeable person on the planet about the Stargate, not to mention the most faithful second I’ve ever had, was going to get me home.  I’m sorry I forgot that.”

When he stopped, she was shaking her head again.

“No,” she said slowly, “not . . . faithful.”

“Not faithful?!” he said incredulously, “how can you say that?  You’re always by my side.  Even when we argue, you back up whatever decision I make.  And I know when I’ve made the right decision by a  . . . feeling I get in the pit of my stomach . . . I know I’ve made the right decision when I feel you’ve accepted my decision.  Ah, hell! . . . Am I making any sense of this?”

She smiled with tears in her eyes and nodded.  He felt himself get warm in the face and looked away.

“Look, Carter, I didn’t mean to get all sappy on you.  I just needed to get all that out while you couldn’t talk so we can get back to being what we’re supposed to be . . . uh . . . friends? I hope?” he asked tentatively as he looked up.  He continued before she could try to say anything to him, “One last thing and then I’ll shut up . . . Thank you for bringing me home.  I know I should have said it when you first walked through that ‘gate.  I should have told you that you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me and I blew it.  No excuses.  I’m sorry.”

She squeezed his hand, the tears falling down her cheeks.  He used his free hand to wipe the tears gently from her bruised face.

“Sh-h-h,” he said quietly, “Sam, don’t cry.”

He was about to continue.  Hell, he was on a roll.  Why not tell her everything?  But at that moment, the door opened.  Jack realized how close in proximity he was to Sam.  Guiltily, he pulled his hand away from her face and the other from her grasp and sat back in the chair.

 

If he hadn’t caught a glimpse of the battered, tear stained face of Samantha Carter when he first walked in, Daniel would have probably laughed out loud at Jack’s guilty start as he’d walked through the door.  He was disappointed that he had to break up such a beautifully intimate moment.  The two of them needed those moments and never seemed to catch a break.  That Jack had so quickly moved from comforting friend to “bastard-in-charge” mode only served to confirm Daniel’s theory, Jack was in love with Sam.  Granted, Jack hadn’t denied it in the waiting room, but he really hadn’t had time to confirm or deny the “accusation” before Janet had interrupted.

“Uh, Jack,” Daniel said slowly, “Janet says, and I quote, ‘Tell the Colonel to get his keister out of there and let my patient sleep.’  Sorry.”

“Aw, for cryin’ out loud!” Jack growled.

Before he could continue, Daniel heard Sam giggle and then whimper in pain.  Daniel saw the flash of concern cross Jack’s face as he glanced quickly in Sam’s direction.  It was obvious that her pain made the decision for him.

“Well,” he said slowly, “Alright.  But I’ll be back, Carter.  Don’t go anywhere, ‘k?”

“No problem, sir,” she said as she smiled painfully at the Colonel.

“And hey, no talking or Doc’ll have my butt in a sling in that bed next to ya!”

She smiled as best she could at that and waved him away as he walked out the door.  Daniel saw the tears in her eyes as he approached her bed.

“Hey, Sam,” he smiled, “You scared us there, Sweetie.”

The tears started to fall in earnest and he realized that he was crying, too.

“But Janet says you’re going to be okay, Sam,” he continued, “You’ve got a lot of people rooting for you.”

At her look of concern, he put a finger over her mouth gently to silence her.

“No,” he said, “don’t talk now.  Just get better and we’ll talk later.”

With that, he tucked the sheet and blanket around her shoulders, kissed her forehead gingerly and turned out her light.

“Good night, Sam,” he whispered as he saw her eyes drift closed, “Sleep well.”


	3. Chapter 3

It was nearly four weeks later.  Four weeks of forced rest, intense forays into physical therapy for her ribs, surgery on her leg, and many visits from friends.  Teal’c had returned from Chul’ak and her father had arrived as soon as he could after a mission for the Tok’ra.  In spite of it all, Major Samantha Carter was completely bored and ready to go home.

They had wired her jaw shut two days after she’d arrived to help it heal.  She suspected Janet had had it done so she couldn’t talk, but she had no proof.  Now, after three weeks of enforced non-movement, Janet finally had declared Sam’s jaw healed enough to have the wires removed.  The procedure had been done the night before.

Now, she was restlessly waiting to be released.  Janet had promised she could go home that day, but had ordered that she not be alone for a couple more days due to her still healing ribs.  It was nearly 12:30 pm and she was getting antsy, waiting impatiently for her ride, Jack O’Neill.

Sam had spent nearly four weeks in the hospital healing, both physically and mentally.  She had had to learn how to walk with a cane after surgery because she couldn’t use both arms with crutches.  It had taken a lot longer than she or Janet had ever expected to get the hang of it.   

She had also spent a lot of time with the psychologist trying to work out her feelings about the rape.  She had decided that it was the doctor who had been nuts and he hadn’t helped her at all.  Sam also thought it interesting that everyone, including her father, had suggested she talk about what Jake had done to her.  She knew for most, like Daniel, that it was genuine concern for her well-being.  For some, it had been just morbid curiosity.  Either way, every person she’d spoken with over the course of her time in the hospital had brought up Jake.  Except Jack.

She didn’t know exactly why Jack never brought up the rape, but it had made her look forward to his visits more than anyone else’s.  Jack’s visits always consisted of Cheyenne Mountain gossip, brief mission reports, hockey updates and repeated invitations to go fishing.

“Y’know,” he’d grinned just that morning after her procedure, “Maybe I’ll suggest it to the Doc.  She’s been saying you need to take some time off.  Maybe I can get her to order medical leave where there are no distractions, no naquada reactors, no projects and no do-hickeys that I can’t touch.  Yeah, I’m likin’ this idea a lot!”

She smiled in amusement.

“Tell her there’re no mirrors and she might just take you up on that,” she said with a grin.

Jack looked at her in an odd way and Sam flinched.

“Honestly, sir, do I really look that bad?” she asked seriously.

 

He looked her over for a moment.  Jack knew that ol’ Doc Frasier had refused to give her a mirror in the entire time Carter had had her jaw wired.  He understood why.  Even after four weeks, Sam’s face still looked like she’d gone ten rounds with Oscar De La Hoya and lost.  Her left eye was healing nicely, but still had a hint of yellow rimming it where Jake’s fist had impacted the hardest.  Her cheek and jaw line still showed more than a few traces of the deep tissue bruising the fracture and the wiring had caused.  He reached out to brush the hair from her eyes and brushed her still very swollen cheek gently.

“Well, Carter,” he said honestly, “you have looked better and you’ve definitely looked worse, but you don’t look bad to me at all.”

 

He pulled his hand from her face and shoved it in his jacket pocket.  Sam felt the loss of the gentle warmth of his hand and sighed.

“I’m getting out of here today,” she said quickly to cover the awkward silence; “Janet says I’m not allowed to drive.  Would you be willing to chauffeur?”

“Yeah,” he smiled at her, “I can do that.  What time?”

“Well,” she said, “I have to be out of here before one, 1300 hours, or I’ll be stuck ‘til tomorrow.  I have to wait for some test results, but Janet said she’d have those no later than 1100 hours.”

“’K,” he grinned, “I’ll be here.  I promise I won’t let you suffer another night of Air Force hospital food.”

She laughed softly, “Thanks, sir.”

 

The opening of the door drew her back to the present.

“Ready to go home Sam?” Daniel asked from the door, startling her out of her reverie, “Jack’s in the lot.  You’re all checked out and your chariot awaits!”

“Good!” she said emphatically as she carefully hopped down from the bed, “Get me out of here, Daniel.”

He reached down to pick up the small duffle of personal items.

“Then let’s go,” he said as held open the door.

She left the room without looking back.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VERY long chapter...I apologize. There was just nowhere to split this sucker without destroying the "flow"...Also...BIG BIG BIG non-con warning here for anyone who might be triggered by those sort of things...you CAN skip if you'd prefer...but there's other fun and juicy Sam/Jack bits that are just plain lovely...So, tread carefully and carry a box of tissues...

The climb up the stairs to her apartment was a little more than Sam had expected.  She had needed to stop twice before she reached her door on the third floor.

“Y’know,” she huffed, “I picked this building . . . specifically because . . . there was no . . . elevator . . . How stupid was that?”

Jack and Daniel looked at each other and then grinned.

“Well,” Daniel smirked, “We could’ve gotten you the Teal’covator, but he’s off world with SG-8 tonight.  If we’d known you were going to refuse our help, he would have demanded.”

“Well . . .” she said, “You could have . . . been a little more . . . insistent.”

“Yah! Right!” Jack snapped sarcastically, “Like that woulda helped!”

Daniel handed her the key to stop the bickering.

“We. . . um . . . cleaned up a bit for you,” he said with a slight blush.

“Thanks, Daniel,” she replied as she opened the door.

Everything looked exactly the same in the living room, only cleaner.  All remnants of her attempted casual evening the night of the attack were completely gone.  She could see that the kitchen had been cleaned as well.  She stepped further into the living room to head down the short hallway to the bedroom, but stopped.

“I-I can’t,” she said as she turned and looked at Jack, “Everything I own is in that room and I-I can’t go in there, sir.”

“It’s okay, Carter,” he said quietly as he stepped up to her, “We’ll go in there together . . . He’s not in there.  Daniel and I made sure there were no signs of his ever being there.”

Jack put a hand on her shoulder and guided her down the hall.  She walked through the door, took one look at the bed and stopped.  She felt the tears welling up in her eyes.  She thought she’d dealt with this crap at least enough to be able to live in her own home.  Now she knew it wasn’t going to happen any time soon, and that hurt more than everything else Jake had done.

She turned to flee the room and found herself enveloped in Jack’s arms.  The warm comfort of his body combined with the soft scent of his aftershave sent her over the edge.  The tears flowed in earnest and the sobs racked her body.

 

“Sh-h-h-h, sh-h-h . . . it’s alright,” Jack whispered very quietly, “It’s okay Sam, just let it out.  Sh-h-h-h, sh-h.”

He just held her and rocked her, murmuring platitudes that would have normally sent Sam into a tirade.  Jack glanced over his shoulder as he heard the front door click open.  Daniel waved at him, signaling that he was leaving, and then closed the door.  Smiling to himself, he silently thanked Daniel.  Daniel always knew what was best for everyone.  His leaving would make Sam feel a bit better when she came back from the dark place she was in.  She would be embarrassed enough that she’d wept like a baby in her CO’s arms, but to find that Daniel, or anyone else for that matter, had been witness to her breakdown would have mortified her.

As her sobbing slowed, Jack carefully lifted her and moved to the front room.  His back only protested slightly as he realized how light she really was for such a tall woman.  He’d never tell her that she’d been heavy in the past, because she never really had been, but now . . . now he was rather concerned by how light she was.

He meant to lay her down on the couch and make her comfortable, but as he tried to move away, Sam held on to his neck.

“Just hold me, Jack, please,” she begged through her tears.

His heart jumped.  She’d called him Jack.  She so rarely called him that.

“Okay, Sam, just sit up.”

She raised herself up enough to let him sit next to her; but then, as soon as he sat down, she snuggled even closer.  Gradually, her crying subsided and she started to breathe easier.  Jack just sat and held her, thinking she might go to sleep.

“I was such an idiot,” she said suddenly, “He  . . . Jake was there at the bar the one night Janet forced me to leave the SGC to sleep.  He didn’t make a pass at me once.  He just listened to me prattle on about how much I missed you and how worried I was about you . . .

Her voice faded as she remembered the night she’d met him.

 

_She had met Jake at the lowest point of her life . . . when her C.O., one of her best friends in the whole world, and the one man she really could love beyond all others if she had been allowed to, had gone missing.  Not just missing, but presumed dead.  She refused to believe that she’d never see him again..  And that’s what drove her to find a way to bring him home._

_Tonight, Janet had declared that Sam had to go home, sleep in a real bed and get some sleep.  It was the furthest thing from her mind.  So she stopped at Jimmy’s, a bar near the base of the mountain that a few people from the SGC went to when they wanted something “different” from O’Malley’s, which wasn’t often._

_When she saw Jake, she was. . . shocked, in the least.  He looked a lot like Jack.  Maybe a bit younger, but he could easily have been Jack’s younger brother, if there was such a thing.  They had sized each other up over several drinks, more than Sam knew she was supposed to have_

_When he approached her, she smiled.  She hadn’t intended it to be the smile she gave to the Colonel or Daniel, but it had been nonetheless_

_“Hullo,” he said with a slight drawl, “not to presume much, ma’am, but you look like you could use a friend there.”_

_She recognized the Australian accent.  She was a sucker for Australian accents._

_“Well,” she smiled, “Actually, I could. . . my . . . one of my bests friends has been missing for a week now.”_

_“Really?  Wow, that’s gotta be rough,” he said with sincerity, “Anythin’ I could do to help?”_

_“No,” Sam smiled again, “Nothing on this earth will get him back at this point, but some friends and I are working on it.”_

_His frown clued her in to the fact that she’d almost spilled the truth about Jack’s whereabouts . . . okay, maybe not completely, but still . . ._

_“Name’s Jake, ma’am,” he grinned, “An’ I’d be glad to be a friend if ya need one.”_

_“Samantha,” she said, taking his offered hand._

_“Nice t’meetcha, Samantha,” he grinned again._

_She felt a jolt of . . . of what? . . . electricity? . . . excitement? . . . attraction?  She admitted, it was a little bit of all of that.  He was a handsome man with an Australian accent and a very sexy smile._

_They had spent most of the evening talking about home life, work life as much as Sam could, and getting to know a little about each other.  Sam spent a lot of her time trying not to talk about Jack, but he was such an integral part of her life, that he inevitably came up in conversation and stayed there._

_When Jimmy finally kicked them out at 2:00 am, Sam hadn’t wanted to stop talking to Jake.  Without so much as a hint of concern, Sam invited him back to her apartment where she had a six pack of beer waiting.  He followed her home in his car._

_When they got to her place, it was like their conversation at the bar had never ceased . . ._

_“. . . Y’see,” she laughed, “Jack has no clue what I do . . . but I know he trusts me to get him out of any situation he gets himself and our team into . . . that’s why his being missing hurts so much . . . there’s so much I could do if I were there with him, but I’m not . . . and . . . and”_

_“And ya miss him a lot,” Jake said with insight, “It hasn’t anything to do with your not bein’ there.  It has to do with your missing him and--”_

_“And there’s nothing I can do about it anyway,” she interrupted, “Even if I could admit that I miss him, Jack’s my C.O.  Nothing can happen and nothing will happen!”_

_A smile just barely touched his lips at her protestation._

_“Ya, right!” he challenged._

_That challenge had gotten her.  Almost as if it were a dare.  She never turned down a dare._

_Before she’d realized it, she was in bed having sex with a man she hardly knew.  The excitement of something new, something just a touch dangerous, made for a heady evening of nothing more than sex._

_When she’d awakened, he was gone.  He left his number on the table in the kitchen with the offer of “Any time!”_

_At work, Janet had just grinned at her._

_“See what happens when you actually take Doctor’s advice?” Janet grinned._

_“What do you mean?” Sam had asked in shock.  She was slightly embarrassed by the fact that she’d had a one night stand with Jake the night before, but if the whole base knew about it . . ._

_“I told you to go home and sleep!  You obviously did.  You look great this morning, Sam!” Janet had smiled, “If you would do it more often . . . follow my advice and sleep more often, that is . . .I think you’d find that you’ll feel much better.”_

_Sam had turned away to her work to hide the grin growing on her face._

_‘If you only knew, Janet, if you only knew…’_

_She had taken Janet’s indirect advice and had started seeing Jake occasionally when she was ordered off base.  She had felt a little guilty about using Jake the way she did, but it had never seemed like anything more than mutual gratification.  Jake had never pursued her.  He’d always let her call him.  He’d never even asked for her phone number.  But when she needed him, he was there . . ._

_Until Jack had come home, alive and well.  Then Sam’s guilt had grown, because she knew that there was no way she would ever want anyone else in her life.  With that on her mind, she had refused to go out with Jake the night of the rape.  She had broken her relationship off with him and sent him home._

 

“Going home with him had been such a thrill . . . to not be alone when I was so worried . . . when I felt so alone . . . He’d been there whenever I’d needed him . . .”

She sighed, lost in her thoughts again. 

 

Jack was glad she was able to talk a little about it.  But she’d met this guy and gone home with him because he, Jack, had been lost, because she’d been missing him.  He felt his heart beat a little harder.  She’d missed him.  She’d never told him.  Of course, he hadn’t really asked.  He’d been an idiot.  Daniel had made sure he’d known that within hours of his return from Edora.

 

_“Jack, you’re one stupid son of a bitch,” Daniel had told him angrily._

_“Tell me something I don’t know, Daniel,” he replied._

_“Dammit, Jack, I’m serious!”_

_“Yeah, Daniel, I know, but why now?”_

_“Did you thank Sam for pulling your ass out of the fire once again?  Did you take the time to acknowledge the fact that her brand of genius is what got you home?”  At his silence, Daniel continued, “No.  You didn’t.  Typical.  Jeez, Jack!  Do you realize how many hours she went without sleep, without a break?  Do you understand that she did nothing, NOTHING except work on a way to get you home for months? Do you understand that she practically single-handedly got you home?   Janet tried to send her home at least every other day.  Sam went home maybe four times.  If she slept, I have no idea.  I know she never slept more than an hour at a time on base unless Janet sedated her.”_

_“Well, I --” stammered Jack, “I really haven’t --”_

_“You haven’t what, Jack?” Daniel asked, “Haven’t had the time?  Haven’t felt the need?  Jack, you need to do it!  She’s pissed.  She’s hurt.  She’s on the brink.  Her nerves are so shot and she’s so tired, I’m not sure what she’ll do next.  Plus, she’s so mad at you, I think she’s ready to transfer out of SG-1.”_

_“Really?” Jack asked incredulously, “You’re kidding, right?”_

_“No, Jack.  I’m not.”_

_“Jeez, Daniel!  I’ve only been back, what? A couple days?  How could she get so mad that she’d want to quit?”_

_“Well, I think totally ignoring her when she walked through the ‘gate and not saying more than two words to her directly since you got home might have something to do with it!” Daniel said, his anger at its maximum boiling point._

_“Okay, okay, I get it!” Jack yelled back, “I’ll go talk to her.”_

_When Jack just stood there looking at him, Daniel’s frustration erupted._

_“And that would be when?”_

_“Now!” Jack said firmly and about faced and headed out the door._

_Little did any of them realize he’d never get the chance to have that conversation with Carter.  General Hammond had paged Jack to his office.  Thor had been there to give him an assignment.  Before he’d known it, Jack had been under orders to sever ties and estrange himself from his entire team.  He had been forced to “retire” so he could be contracted by Harry Maybourne and the NID . . ._

 

“I don’t know why he was even here that morning,” Sam said hesitantly, pulling Jack from his memories, “I told him it was over the night before.  He left that night.  He wasn’t happy, but he seemed to take it well.  I-I must not have locked the door.  I-I was sl-sleeping wh-when he woke me up and started kissing me, I th-thought he was – I th-thought I was dreaming.”

“Aw, Carter,” Jack said, the tears gathering in his eyes at the remembered image of her beaten body, “I am so sorry this happened.  I-I don’t know what I would have done if I’d lost you.”

She pulled away slightly to look at him.  Jack could tell she wanted an explanation, but he didn’t know if he could totally explain.

“Look,” he began, “I know I’m not supposed to – to . . . care about you . . . but I do.  Besides Daniel, I think you’re the best . . . friend I could have.  I-I feel like SG-1 is my family.  If you disappeared from my life . . . I don’t know . . . All I do know is, I’m glad you’re on your way to recovery.  I need my Second in Command by my side.  You’ll be that for as long as you want, but until you’re back and whole again, SG-1 is not complete . . . and neither am I.”

“Really, sir?” she asked, the sparkle of remaining tears making her eyes shine like sapphires.

“Ah!  For cryin’ out loud, Carter!” he grinned, “How can you be so smart and so dumb at the same time?  You, Daniel and Teal’c are essential to my being the man I am.  How you can’t see that is beyond me.”

“Just lucky, I guess, sir,” she smiled back at him.

Even with all the bruises, he could see just a little more than a hint of his old Carter in her eyes . . . the Carter she’d been before . . . before the rape, before Harry Maybourne and the NID, before Edora.  She was still there, just hidden behind bruises and emotional pain that she needed to work through.  It gave him hope and made his heart just a little lighter.

“It’s Jack, ya know,” he said lightly, “I mean, we are off duty . . .”

“Well . . . Jack,” she said slowly, as if she were savoring his name on her lips, “Okay.  But then you should call me Sam.”

He chuckled.  Fair was fair.

“But ‘Sam’ is so boring,” he said with a grin, “I was thinking more along the lines of ‘Boo-boo Bunny’ . . . Ow!” he jumped as she punched him in the ribs.

She laughed as she backed out of his arms.

“You deserved it!  I’d rather you call me Major than that!  How awful!”

“Okay, okay, okay,” he laughed, “I get it!  Sam it is!”

With his concession, she slid back into his arms without prompting.  He smiled over her head.  He really enjoyed having her in his arms.  He sobered at that.  Feeling like that could really make things complicated.  With a deep sigh, he realized that they had better move from that position or there could be trouble.

“Right now,” he said gently, “I think we better decide what you’re going to do for the night.  It’s getting pretty late and I get the feeling that you really don’t want to stay in your room tonight, right?”

“Right!” she said a little more strongly than he’d anticipated.

“Okay, uh, right . . . Well, since Doc Frasier says someone is supposed to stay with you and I really don’t relish sleeping on your floor, what say we get your stuff so we can get out of here?”

“S-sure,” she said hesitantly, “I-I guess.”

“Look, Sam,” he said gently, “if you want, I can go throw some things in a duffle for you.”

She looked at him gratefully.

“I-I’d really appreciate that, s-, Jack,” she smiled, “I-it’s just that – well. . .”

Jack grinned at the blush creeping up her neck and on to her cheeks.

“Hey, I won’t look at your underwear,” he teased, “I’ll just grab handfuls with my eyes closed, ‘k?”

“No,” she giggled, “though I thank you for the consideration, but that’s not it.”

“Then what?”

“Well,” she said slowly, “I need something from my nightstand that I’d rather get myself. . .”

Jack’s grin faltered.  Something from her nightstand that she didn’t want him to see.  Now he was intrigued.

“Tell you what,” he said with a gentle smile, “let’s go in together.  I’ll grab clothes, you grab whatever it is that you need.”

She visibly relaxed at his suggestion.  It was obvious Sam didn’t want to go in that room by herself. _‘Damn the man to hell that put that fear into her,’_ he thought then smiled inwardly.  The man probably already was in hell.  He helped her stand carefully and then walked with her to her room, her hand still gently clutched in his.

 

Sam averted her eyes as best she could from her bed.  It was no longer her bed, she reminded herself.  She would never sleep in it again.  She was desperately saddened by that.  She and her mother had picked it out not long before her mother had died.  It had always brought good memories of the laughter they’d shared that day.

_“But Mom,” eleven year old Sam had whined, “I really want a queen sized bed!  Please?  I need all the room!”_

_“Sammy,” her mother had smiled, “No one needs that much room in a bed.”_

_“Not if they’re alone,” Sam replied with a grin, “but with Harry, Max, Andrew, Joey, and Goliath and of course Sadie, there’d hardly be any room for me.”_

_Her mother had laughed at that and the smile she’d given Sam was one that many people had compared to Sam’s when she’d gotten older.  Sam also knew she’d won._

_“Samantha Erin,” her mother had joked, “one of these days, you and your animals, stuffed or otherwise, are gonna be the death of me . . .”_

Sam came back to the present on that sobering thought.  She and her animals _had_ been the death of her mother.  Her mom had gone out in the late winter storm to pick up Sadie, her border collie, from the groomers because Sam wouldn’t sleep without Sadie in her bed.  Neither had made it home.  Sam had learned how to sleep without Sadie and how to live without her mom in her life.

 

As she refocused her eyes, Sam realized she was staring at the object that had started these thoughts.  Now, the memories of Jake’s attack came to the fore . . .

_He had woken her up so tenderly, so gently.  At first, she had thought she was only dreaming.  Then she felt the early morning sun in her face.  By the position, she could tell it was no later than 0600._

_Jake had left late in the night after she’d told him she couldn’t see him any more.  He’d taken it relatively well.  She’d thought they’d parted on good terms._

_Now, here he was, gently caressing her traitorous body into arousal.  Her body so wanted what he had to offer.  But her mind, and worse, her heart told her Jake was not the one she was supposed to be with._

_“Are you awake?” he whispered as his lips pressed against her neck, a place he’d learned rather quickly was a major erotic zone for Sam._

_“Mmm-hmm,” she replied, knowing any more would betray her thoughts._

_She really wanted to sleep.  Today was the first morning of downtime she’d had since the Colonel had officially returned to command SG-1.  But her body had already betrayed her.  At that moment, allowing Jake to do what he wanted with her body was overriding the weak thought that the whole situation was wrong._

_She sighed, turning to him as Jake took one breast in his mouth and kneaded the nipple of the other into hardness.  His hand slid down her belly, tickling her slightly as his fingers traveled to her warm and already damp core._

_Suddenly she didn’t care that Jake was not the one she wanted.  Hell, he wasn’t even supposed to be there, but his fingers found her wetness and his thumb found her clit.  As he plunged his fingers deeply into her, his mouth found her other breast and languorously paid homage to it._

_“I love your tits, Samantha,” he said crassly in his suddenly not so adorable Aussie accent, “’Tween them and your ass an’ your pussy, I don’t know which I like to fuck better.  ‘Course,” he continued, “nothing beats your mouth on my cock.”_

_She was so close to coming; she could almost ignore what he was saying.  Almost._

_His words shook the rest of the lethargy from her brain, but it was a little too late.  Before she could react to the warning bells, she felt the handcuff go around her left wrist almost at the same time she heard the other half clink to the center of her headboard._

_He suddenly sat up, grabbed her legs and flipped her on her stomach.  She knew what he was about to do.  And while in the middle of a sexy, seductive night and the proper lubrication, Sam didn’t mind, and in fact rather enjoyed taking it in the ass; it was a bright mid-morning that she could have slept in._

_“Jake,” she said in her best Air Force Major voice, “Stop. Now.”_

_“Oh, no, honey buns,” he growled, as he smacked her naked backside, “not today.   Y’see, I’m stakin’ my claim on you in every way possible this morning.”_

_Struggling against the metal ‘cuff, she tried to flip him off of her._

_“Jake,” she said yelled, “This isn’t funny!  What are you doing?”_

_He smacked her ass in response.  With that, he spread her ass cheeks and slammed himself into her completely dry hole.  She screamed at the tearing pain in her lower torso.  He lifted her to her knees so he could get a better angle._

_“Stop, Jake, stop!” she kept screaming._

_“No way,” he growled as he continued plunging into her, “You’re . . . NOT . . .going . . .back to . . . him . . . You . . . are . . . mine.”_

_He paused for only a moment as he shoved his cock deep into her ass and ground himself deep into her._

_“We fit so well, Samantha,” he grunted, “No one else will ever use you as well as I have.”_

_“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sam gasped as she struggled against the handcuffs, “I don’t understand why you’re doing this!  I’m not going back to anyone.  My life is just getting more complicated now that the Colonel’s back. Please--”_

_“Bullshit!” he interrupted, “You’ve got the hots for your Commanding Officer.”_

_“No . . .” she whimpered, trying to look at him, trying to reason with him, “You’re wrong.  He and I could never be together . . .It’s against regs--”_

_He grunted as punched her as he ground himself into her again.  She felt herself tear even more._

_“Just . . . shut . . . the fuck . . . up!” he grunted._

_She felt his thrusting get faster as he neared climax.  She felt him pushing her deep into the bed.  Feeling him grind deeper, she held on to the headboard to keep herself from being smothered by the pillows all around her.  With a deep groan, he came.  Jake pulled out of her, ripping another scream from her._

_He flipped her on to her back, wrenching her wrist and arm painfully in the process.  She watched in a daze, trying to overcome the pain he’d already inflicted, as he wiped the brown sticky and bloody mess from his now flaccid penis.  Sitting against the headboard and forced Sam’s head into his lap._

_“Suck me ‘til I’m hard, Samantha,” he ordered._

_“No!” she spat in defiance, “I won’t!”_

_Then she heard the familiar click of her service revolver.  She felt the cold metal of the gun barrel at her temple.  Her blood froze.  Mentally she kicked herself.  She should have moved her gun from the bedside table when she had seen him watching her put it away the other night._

_‘Why the hell did I ever let him know where that was?’ she asked herself, ‘What kind of fool am I?’_

_‘A trusting fool,’ came the memory of a voice long buried deep inside the back reaches of her mind._

_“Don’t make me shoot you,” he said coldly, “It’d be such a shame to get blood all over your bedroom just yet.”_

_Once again, he began pushing her face to his crotch with the pistol._

_“Oh, and Samantha, one bite, nip or harm could cause this gun to accidentally go off, so behave.”_

_She took his soft cock into her mouth.  She’d done this to him only a few nights before when she’d woken from a particularly erotic dream about Jack._ ‘Jack,’ _she thought as she tongued the stiffening cock in her mouth.  She imagined that it was her Commanding Officer she was servicing as she sucked and licked and used her free hand to get Jake hard again._

_When he was fully stiff once more, he pulled her on top of him to straddle his hips and impaled her roughly.  Jake latched on to one of her breasts with his mouth.  The hand with her gun held her hips in place cruelly, the metal biting into her skin.  The thumb of his other hand found her clit again._

_Against her will, Sam felt her body betraying her again.  She was already slick from what he’d already done to her, and his massage of her clit was making her want to come in the worst way.  She couldn’t understand how as a victim of rape she could feel this way._

_She kept trying to think of things that would distract her from coming; Jack gone, presumed dead; Jack betraying the team; Maybourne; Makepeace; Kinsey; all the pencil pushing bastards who kept trying to push the SGC in the wrong direction.  But in spite of her efforts, her body continued to betray her.  As she felt her body start to climax, she tried desperately to imagine someone else in Jake’s place.  The only face that would come to mind was Jack’s.  The knowledge that she felt those feelings shocked her into climax._

_“Bitch!” he screamed as punched her in the ribs with the gun, “Don’t you dare think of him while you’re riding me!”_

_He flung her off of him as his other fist connected with her jaw.  The pain in her wrist combined with her ribs and the shooting pain in her jaw to bring tears to her eyes, but damned if she’d let Jake see her cry._

_“You are not his,” he bellowed, “You are mine!”_

_With that he pulled out another set of cuffs and manacled her right hand to the headboard.  He set the gun down now that she was helpless against him.  He slid both hands possessively over her face, her shoulders, and her breasts.  When he touched her breasts, he gently caressed both nipples back into hardness.  Cruelly, he bit her left breast until she screamed in pain._

_“See,” he snarled as he lifted his head, “you can react to me!”_

_Both of his hands grabbed her hips, his fingernails digging deeply into her skin.  When she didn’t wince or scream at the pain he’d inflicted, he changed tactics.  Flipping her on to her stomach, he forced her into a kneeling position.  He shoved into her wet core from behind.  After thrusting viciously three or four times, he pulled out and slammed back up her ass.  His objective was to cause pain and hear her scream.  The unexpectedness of being taken anally after the earlier brutality wrenched a whimper from Sam’s throat._

‘I’m not going to make it any easier for him,’ _she kept thinking,_ ‘I’m not going to scream.  I’m not going to cry.  He has my body, but he can’t have my soul.  My soul belongs to--’

_It was almost as if Jake could hear her thoughts, could hear the mantra in her head.  To bring her back to his abuse of her, he punched her in the kidneys.  Sam held true to her resolve and didn’t let out a sound._

_That seemed to send him over the edge completely.  Jake suddenly pulled out of her ass and began pummeling her.  He hit her repeatedly.  Kidneys, ribs, face, arms and legs were hit over and over again until she was nothing more than a bloodied lump that had passed into unconsciousness_

_Jake flipped her prone body onto her back.  Slapping her, at first gently and then harder to bring her back to consciousness, he shoved himself into her core again._

_“Samantha,” he said almost tenderly, “Wake up.  I have one more thing to do . . .”_

_She vaguely felt the hot stickiness of his semen spurting into her body as she felt him climax again._

‘Oh God,’ _she thought weakly as her body slowly sank into the darkness which would protect her from Jake,_ ‘Don’t let Jack find my body . . .’

She closed her eyes trying to block out the visions of Jake’s brutality that morning.  Sam didn’t know what broke her out of the nightmare of remembering.  But just as quickly as she realized she was back in the present, her mind returned to the weeks before the rape . . . Jake had been so gentle and loving.

Sam had initiated the rough sex; shown Jake she’d liked it.  Part of her, her logical side, knew that that didn’t matter.  She knew that even though she’d accepted it in the past, this time she had repeatedly told him “No” and “Stop” and he had still persisted.  But the other part of her, the part of her that had hidden for years behind school, the military and her work; the scared little girl afraid that she’d killed her mother, whispered that she _was_ to blame for what had happened.  It whispered that she was a tease, a flirt.  It whispered that she’d gotten what she deserved.

“No!” she cried, “No, I’m not!  I didn’t! No!”

“Sam!” she heard his voice yell, she realized it wasn’t Jake with her now.  It was Jack’s voice quietly comforting her, “Sam, sh-h-h, it’s okay, sh-h-h.”

She felt his arms go around her, but she shrugged him away.

“No!  Just leave me alone,” she cried, “Please, just go away!”

“Carter!” Jack finally yelled at her, “I am not him and you need to get a grip!”

The command in his voice woke her from the terror of the vision and silenced the whisper.

“Sir?” she whispered shakily.

“Yeah, Sam,” he said softly, “You got everything you need?  I got your duffle.  Let’s go.”

“No, sir,” she said quickly, “I never got what I needed.”

She picked up the picture frame from the nightstand.  She opened the stand drawer and pulled a couple of items out.  Closing the drawer, she turned on her heel away from the bed.  Nodding at Jack, she walked out of the room without looking back.

 

 _‘What the hell?’_ Jack wondered silently as he watched her leave.  He couldn’t understand her desperate need to have a picture and whatever it was she’d gotten from the nightstand.

 _‘Must’ve been something important for her to risk those memories,’_ he thought.

He had gotten her stuff quickly and had wanted to get out of there.  When he’d turned from the closet to urge her out of the room, Sam had been standing only two feet from the bed.  She’d been staring at it, obviously thinking about what had happened there.  The emotions passed over her face with seemingly lightening speed.  Even as he saw the terror grip her, he had tried to pull her from it.  She hadn’t wanted his comfort, nor had she wanted to leave until she’d gotten what she came for.

Shrugging at the thought that he’d never understand women, let alone Sam, Jack followed Sam back down the hall.  She had stopped by the couch, a look of indecision on her face.

“Hey,” he said as casually as he could, “why don’t you crash at my place for a while?  I’ve got a whole spare bedroom that hasn’t seen company since the last time Daniel drank himself into a stupor.”

“And that would be when?” Sam asked with a smirk, “Two days ago?”

Jack laughed and then quickly sobered.

“He was actually there about four weeks ago.  He was a great support that morning you were first in the hospital and in the coma.  Daniel kept telling me to have faith that I didn’t have, hold on to hope I couldn’t find.  He was fantastic while he was there, but that night after you came out of the coma, he lost control.  He went to my house and got shit-faced on my couch watching the hockey game.  You really scared him, Carter.  You really scared all of us.”

The silence lengthened as he thought about how close he’d come to losing her.  Jack shook himself mentally before he continued.

“My guest room is open . . . What do you say?  Lumpy second bed with good friend nearby just in case?  Or some cold, unfriendly rock of a bed in some hotel by your lonesome?” he suggested with just a hint of a smile.

He knew that she needed someone she could trust nearby tonight and that Doc had ordered that she not be alone.  He also knew he had to leave it up to her, make it her choice or she’d never be content the entire time she was there.

“Well,” she said with just a hint of that old impishness, “since I _really_ don’t have a choice--”

“Sam . . . You always have a choice,” he interrupted.

“I know, sir,” she sighed, “Thank you . . . but I know Janet gave you strict orders that I’m not to be alone for at least a few days . . . Either way, I really appreciate your offer and if you really don’t mind, I would like to take you up on your offer.  I won’t sleep if I stay here, even on the couch; and well, I really don’t relish the thought of a hotel after four weeks of being alone in the hospital.  I’d really appreciate the company if it’s . . . well . . . if it’s someone I know I can trust.”

“Ah, Sam,” he sighed, “You _do_ trust me.  I’m glad to know that.”

He let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

“Great!” he said brightly now, “Then let’s go!”

With that, he turned, duffle bag in hand, and walked out the door, Sam a half step behind him, as usual.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More of the non-con comes up here...just be forewarned...If it wasn't absolutely essential, it wouldn't be here, I promise!!!

“Well,” Jack said quietly as he dropped Sam’s stuff on the bed, “I’ll let you get settled.  I need to hit the hay since I have to be at a briefing with General Hammond early in the morning.  He’s got a special non-science mission for SG-1.”

“Really?” Sam said eagerly, “Something non-scientific?  Are you sure?  Any way I might be able to help?”

“No! No!” he laughed, “Doc threatened my butt with the biggest needle she can find if you show your face on base before Tuesday.   She promised worse if you do anything more than sleep eat and heal before Sunday.”

“But it’s only Wednesday!” she protested, “What am I going to do for a whole week?”

“Sleep . . . eat . . . heal.  That’s an order, Major.  Doc Frasier’s orders . . . and mine,” he said seriously.

She turned away, gazing out the small window in the corner of the room.  Jack stood in the doorway, watching her.  _‘God, even with an air cast on her arm, leg in a cast and the fading bruises, she’s still beautiful,’_ he thought, then, _‘Don’t go there, O’Neill,’_ he told himself.  It was too soon after her trauma for her to think about a relationship that she shouldn’t be having, and even _if_ she was interested, he knew there was no way, not with their obligations to the SGC.

In the growing silence of the room, Sam sighed.  Her shoulders hunched and she leaned her head on the coolness of the windowpane.

“It’s quiet here,” she said softly, “Nice.  Nothing but good memories . . . Thanks, sir . . . for inviting me to stay . . . I . . . I don’t know that I would have slept at . . . at . . .”

“At your place . . . Yeah, I kinda figured,” he said gently as he walked up behind her, “Listen, Carter . . . ya need to sleep.  C’mon . . . bed down and I’ll take watch, if that’ll help.”

She glanced up and smiled at him, visibly relaxing just a bit.

“Thanks, sir,” she said, “That would help.”

“Good,” he said, “I’ll be right down the hall.  Feel free to make yourself at home.  And call if you need me.”

With that, Jack beat a hasty retreat from the room before he followed his instinct to hug her until all her horrors went away.

 

Sam watched the Colonel’s quick exit with a little consternation.  She had felt drawn to him; as if he wanted to say something she wanted or needed to hear him say.  She had felt a thrill of exhilaration, of hope that what she felt for the Colonel was not quite as one-sided as she had originally thought.  But then when the door clicked behind him, she felt . . . she really wasn’t sure how she felt . . . a little sad, a little relieved, and maybe, just maybe, a little lost. 

Sighing as deeply as her ribs would let her, she tried to shake it off.  She was tired.  Whatever those feelings were that were bugging her, they would have to wait.  First thing she needed was sleep.  She hadn’t really slept much in the last four weeks.

Opening the duffle the Colonel had dropped on the bed, Sam giggled.  All of her clothes were neatly packed, still folded pristinely on the bottom of the bag.  Everything that is, except for her bras and underwear.  The Colonel had obviously kept his promise about not looking through her underwear drawer.  On top of the neatly folded clothes, her undergarments were literally stuffed into the bag.

Cautiously, using her left hand with her right, she slowly undressed.  She reached for a t-shirt on top of the bag and slid it over her head gingerly, feeling the tightness where her ribs were in the process of healing.  She sighed a little deeper and felt no pain, just a strong tug.

Her ribs were almost healed.  That was good.  It would be difficult literally living with the Colonel cracking jokes and snide comments.  Half the time they weren’t funny, but it was all in his delivery.  Not laughing in the coming days did not seem to be an option.

She smiled at the memory of the “Boo-boo bunny” comment.  She’d been feeling pretty sorry for herself up to that point when he’d said it, but he’d joked her into laughing and she appreciated it. _‘Jack O’Neill really is a good man to have around,’_ she admitted silently.

After moving her bag cautiously to the dresser and quickly unpacking, she gingerly slid under the sheets and almost instantly fell asleep.

 

_Sam felt herself floating back into consciousness.  She kept her eyes closed and listened.  Where was he, exactly?  Had Jake left or was he just lying in wait until she woke up so he could start his assault all over again?_

_She amazed herself sometimes.  Even with the amount of pain and terror she was feeling, her military training was still at work._

_As she listened, she heard Jake whistling in the bathroom as if nothing untoward had happened.  She could hear the water running.  Jake was in the shower._

_She moved to struggle against the ‘cuffs and found, to her great surprise that she was free.  Her left arm hurt like a bitch, most likely broken.  Taking a slow breath, she assessed her injuries through the haze.  There was too much pain everywhere.  She was in bad shape.  That much she knew._

_Suddenly realizing she was wasting time, Sam tried to open her eyes.  She tried to move her legs and felt nothing but pain.  Every movement she made was pure torture.  She successfully stifled a groan as she lifted her battered body into a semi-sitting position.  She could barely see from her left eye.  The right one was so swollen and sore, she couldn’t even open it._

_She heard the water go off in the other room.  She only had a few more moments to escape.  It was her only chance, but she couldn’t move._

_Suddenly she saw her sidearm lying on the bedside table.  The pain was making the edges of what was left of her vision gray out.  She needed to grab the gun, but she couldn’t get the arm closest to it to work.  She glanced down and saw the strange angle of her arm – yes, definitely broken.  She painfully reached across her own body.  The pain was unbearable._

_Glancing at the gun, almost willing it to move to her, she saw the picture of her team sitting on the nightstand right behind the gun.  Seeing the picture of her “family” cleared her vision as she fought through the pain and reached for the gun and swung it toward the door just as Jake came into the room._

_He stopped when he saw the gun unsteadily pointing at him_

_“Don. . . Muv,” Sam slurred, “Kill . . . you.”_

_She knew by the searing pain that she could chalk up one more injury to recover from.  Jake had broken her jaw._

_“Now Samantha, darling,” Jake drawled placatingly, “Why ever would you want to kill me?”_

_Sam struggled to keep the gun pointed at his chest as waves of nausea roiled in her stomach.  She could see that behind his bravado, he was afraid of her shooting him, but she was beyond the point of caring._

_“Stay ‘way!” she yelled as he took another step closer, “Leave . . . me . . . alone!”_

_He took yet another step closer to her, and then she shot him.  She watched him look down at the hole in the center of his chest.  She watched him watch the blood start to ooze out of that hole and trail down his body.  He looked back up at her, a look of confusion, fear and anger covering his face._

_“You bitch!” he gurgled as he dropped to his knees, “You shot me.”_

_As his eyes began to show the vacancy of death, Sam closed her eyes and slipped into oblivion, the pistol still clutched in her right hand._

 

Jack heard her scream and was off the couch and outside her door in a heartbeat.  He had known to expect the nightmares.  He’d gone through it himself when he’d come back from Iraq.  Sara had been there to comfort him, but he’d shut down and shut her out.

Daniel had gone through it, too.  Jack had made a nuisance of himself and spent a lot of time getting Daniel through the nightmares and terrors.  He’d been such a pain in the ass that Daniel had finally relented, letting Jack in.

Now Sam was going through it.  Doc Frasier had told him that Sam had been having bad dreams all the time she’d been in the hospital, but she’d been so sedated that she’d slept through them.  Without the drugs completely knocking her out, she was going to start remembering and waking from those dreams.

He stood outside the door, listening.  Hearing a sob and then a moan of pain, he knocked on the door quietly.  The sobs stopped.

“Carter, I’m coming in,” he said through the door.

As he opened the door, she turned on the light.  He stopped.

“It’s okay, sir,” she said softly, “I’m okay.”

Entering the room cautiously, he asked, “Are you sure?  Sounded like a pretty nasty dream.”

“Was,” she said, wiping the tears from her face, “I-I was . . . I-I shot him, sir. . . Right there . . . he-he r-raped m-me . . . He’d showered . . . I thought . . . He was going to k-kill me . . . I-I had to do it.”

It was all she could get out before the tears flowed in earnest.  He watched as she tried desperately not to let out the sobs that were trying to escape.  Each time one did, he winced at her gasp, knowing how much it had to hurt.

“Hey, hey,” he said, stepping forward to sit on the bed across from her, “Sam . . . hey, it’s okay. . . you were totally justified,” he grabbed her hand as he continued, “. . . I know you’re upset, but your ribs are already taking a beating . . . Do you need something for the pain?”

She looked up at him, the tears in her eyes.  He almost gasped at the intensity of pain in her gaze.  The wetness of her tears darkened her lashes, only contrasting the blue pain-filled eyes even more.

Suddenly, Jack wanted to kiss her.  He wanted to take her in his arms and kiss all the pain, fear and anger away.  He wanted to help her forget all the nasty things that had happened since the day they stepped onto Edora.  His heart wanted all these things.  His body wanted them even more.  But his brain told him to get the hell away.

“Be right back,” he said hastily.

Without waiting for her answer, he listened to his head and hustled out the door, heading for the meds he’d left on the kitchen table.

Breathing a sigh of . . . what? . . . relief? . . . tension? . . . gratefulness? . . . he wasn’t sure what, he picked up the two bottles to read the instructions.  One was a heavy-duty painkiller that he’d personally used on more occasions than he wanted to admit.  Good stuff.  The other was a gentle sleep aid that Doctor Frasier said Sam could use if needed.  Well, Sam needed sleep.  She needed a deep, dreamless, restorative sleep.  The two pills combined were meant to do that.  Dumping a pill from each bottle, he stepped to the sink for some water and then headed back to the guest room.

It was dark.  She had turned out the light in the brief time that he’d been gone.  He could hear her soft breathing and recognized it as the breath of sleep.  Letting his eyes adjust to the darkness, he stepped into the room and put the pills and water on the nightstand.

He stood and watched her sleep for a moment.  Then, gently brushing the hair from her face, he kissed her forehead and quietly backed out of the room before he followed his desire to crawl in bed with her to comfort her.

“Sleep well, Sam,” he whispered, hoping his wish would aid in her sleep.

 

_Sam found herself walking on a beautiful warm beach with Jack.  The sand was white and yet cool under their bare feet.  The stars, points of light in the night sky, were not places they had been or could go, but instead were strangely unfamiliar constellations she’d never seen.  She realized that they were on a planet she’d never seen before._

_She felt the cool water tickle her toes as she and Jack walked in silence, hand in hand.  Mutually, and without a word, they decided to take a swim.  They’d stripped to their bathing suits and laughed and giggled as they’d splashed each other.  He took her in his arms and was just about to kiss her when Jack suddenly turned into Jake._

_Seeing her look of fear, he pulled back and put his hands on her shoulders._

_“What’s wrong Samantha?  Afraid?  If you’re not, you should be.  You killed me.  I’m going to haunt you the rest of your life!”_

_“Let go,” she whispered, “I’m not afraid of you!  You are not real!”_

_He pushed her under the water.  She came up spluttering and coughing, the pain in her sides increasing._

_“Let me go, dammit!” she yelled, “Just leave me the fuck alone!”_

_This time, he pushed her down and held her there, oblivious to her struggle.  She felt helpless.  Sam could feel her lungs burning as she held her breath.  She needed to breathe and soon.  Finally, in a desperate attempt for air, she kicked and punched out, hoping to hurt him into letting her go.  She never connected with his body, but she felt her head break the surface.  She instinctively inhaled deeply and simultaneously felt three excruciatingly sharp jabs in her chest and screamed at the pain._

The scream lasted long enough to wake her up before the pain overwhelmed her.  She still couldn’t breathe.  She knew she had to breathe slowly to get air, but she really just wanted one big breath to clear the nightmare’s terror.  Sam knew she needed to focus on something else.  She needed to slow her breath so it didn’t hurt so much.

She turned the light back on and reached for the framed picture she’d placed beside the bed, the one she’d grabbed from her bedroom.  It always calmed her.  It made her feel loved and comforted.  She brushed a finger lovingly over the glass-covered faces of her SG-1 family.

She loved this picture.  It had always given her strength.  With a flash, she remembered how it had helped her through the ordeal of Jack missing.  Janet had taken the picture at Daniel’s birthday party, only six weeks before Jack had gotten stuck on Edora.  Sam stood in the center of the shot with Jack on one side, Daniel on the other and Teal’c slightly behind them between Daniel and her.  Jack and Daniel each had their arms around Sam’s waist and Teal’c had his hands on her shoulders.  Jack was looking at Sam seriously while the other three-team members looked at the camera with varying degrees of laughter on their faces.

Sam smiled at the memory of that evening as she brushed her finger over each beloved face.  These three men were her life, her breath, and her sanity.  She chuckled as she recalled Teal’c’s “non-joke” about his last fishing trip to Jack’s lake.  It had left her and Daniel in stitches.  Jack had pretended to be offended, but Sam had seen the gleam of mischief in his eye as he’d groused at Teal’c.  Janet had called the team and gotten all but Jack’s attention when she’d snapped the picture.  Before the flash had cleared her eyes, Jack had asked Sam to go fishing with him.  Daniel overheard the invitation and had cracked up again, sending Sam back into a fit of giggles.

Now she sobered.  She never had answered Jack on that night, and he hadn’t asked again.

“Are you okay?” came his voice from the doorway.

Sam gasped, and then winced at the stab of pain.  How long had he been standing there?  She tried to steady her breathing as she looked at Jack.  He stood in the doorway, a look of concern on his face and wearing nothing more than a pair of cotton boxers that had probably seen better days.  _‘Man, is he sexy!’ came her unbidden thought, ‘right down to his toes!’_

“Wh-what?” she stammered as her eyes roved his nearly naked body.  Had he been dressed that way the first time she’d woken up?  She couldn’t remember.

“Oh,” she continued, “you heard me scream.  I’m sorry I disturbed you again, sir.”

He winced slightly before he straightened and walked toward her.

“Yes, Sam,” he said, emphasizing her name, “I did hear you scream and I was . . . a touch concerned when it stopped short,” he smiled as he took the framed picture from her fingers.  She wondered briefly what he thought of the photo when she realized he hadn’t looked at it, but was looking at her for an answer to his implied question.

“Oh,” she said, “Another bad dream.  Couldn’t breathe and forgot I have broken ribs.  When I woke up and took a breath, my ribs moved.  Screaming was the natural reaction.”

She saw him wince in remembered pain.

“I’ve done that before,” he said, smiling slightly, “Don’t do it again, Sam, okay?”

“I’ll try not to, sir,” she said with a smile.

 

He looked into her eyes at that moment and suddenly couldn’t breathe himself.  There was such sadness and pain in those blue depths, but behind all the garbage was something he could only hesitate to name.  Something like a memory from her dream, probably . . . _‘but it had been a bad dream,’_ he reminded himself.  Jack sat on the edge of the bed and looked at her intently.

“Sometimes it helps to talk about it,” he said quietly and then quickly looked away before he continued, “I mean . . . about your dream.”

He looked down at the picture in his hands, unable to meet her gaze.  Realizing what was in the picture shocked him. _‘Where the hell did that come from?’_ he wondered.  He didn’t remember the shot being taken.  He was disturbed by the look he saw on his image’s face.  He looked . . . well, he looked like he was ready to pounce on the object of his gaze, which was Sam.  His desire for her was so evident.  Could everyone else see what he was seeing in this one simple shot?

God, was he really that obvious?  He thought he’d been pretty circumspect when it came to his feelings about his team members, especially Sam.  But this picture was proving to him that he didn’t have as much control on it as he’d thought.

Jack looked up at her to see if what he saw was as obvious to her.

“It’s from Daniel’s birthday party,” she said with a little smile.

She showed no hint of . . . what?  He guessed he expected something.  Maybe he hoped she returned the feelings he showed in the picture?  Maybe he expected her to pity him?  He really wasn’t sure.  But all he saw was total openness.

“I don’t remember it being taken,” he admitted, and then taking in the rest of the photograph, he asked, “Why are you and Daniel laughing?”

“Teal’c was making snide comments about the fish, or lack thereof in your lake at your cabin,” she grinned as she continued in her best ‘Teal’c voice’, “Indeed, Major Carter, DanielJackson, I still do not understand why a state with so many lakes has so few fish’ . . . If it had been from anyone but our favorite Jaffa, it wouldn’t have been half as funny,” she chuckled.

“As it was,” Jack grinned, now remembering the evening’s camaraderie, “I only egged him on by acting peeved.  Then I . . . I asked . . .” he trailed off at the remembrance of never having that question answered.

“Asked me to go fishing,” she finished with a slight blush and a smile.  Then her face was serious as she said, “Thank you, sir.”

He looked at her in astonishment.

“For what?”

“Being here.  Helping me through this . . . being you.  You’re the only one who seems to understand that, right now, I don’t want to talk about . . . about . . .”

“About the rape,” he finished for her.

She nodded.

“Hell Carter,” he said, “I’ve been through it . . . well, sort of . . .  I know how I felt when I got back from Iraq.  Everyone wanted to know all the gory details.  They kept telling me I needed to talk about it.  But it all seemed like bull shit.  They tried to get me to dredge up everything that . . . that happened there before I was ready,” he sighed as he dragged a hand through his graying hair.

“And you know me, stubborn jackass that I was, still am,” he amended, “I just stuck to my guns and refused.  I held on to it, letting it dig deeper and fester . . . when Charlie died, everything I hadn’t dealt with, on top of my guilt . . . my pain of Charlie’s death almost killed me.

 “I learned the hard way that keeping it in, not sharing is the wrong way to go . . . but I also learned that you have to do it in your own time in your own way.  Shutting down . . . hiding out . . . not letting friends or family help you out . . . That only leads to insanity . . .”

He stopped briefly, and took a breath to push away the demons that still occasionally haunted him.  He looked back at Sam.

“Did you ever hear the whole truth about the original Abydos mission?”

“I’ve read all the official and revised reports,” she said, “but I’ve always suspected that there was a lot that didn’t make it into and didn’t belong on paper.”

“Damn straight,” he said seriously.  After a small pause, he said, “Abydos was supposed to be my suicide mission.  West recruited me specifically because of my mental health, or lack of mental health to be exact.  Everyone was supposed to come back, except me.

“Oh, Jack,” she sighed, “I-I never knew.”

“I know,” he said seriously, “Very few people do; West, of course, Hammond, Dr. Frasier, Daniel and now you.”

“But . . . well . . . sir, you’re still alive.”

“Yeah, well . . .” he smiled, “if it weren’t for Daniel, I would be dead.  He saved my life.  If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be here; I’d never have met Ska’ara, never met Teal’c or you.  If it weren’t for Daniel, we’d either all be dead or carrying a snake in our heads or guts.  I was ready to just blow the gate on Abydos.  Daniel suggested getting rid of Ra.  He convinced me that the people on Abydos needed to be free . . .”

 

He trailed off as he ran out of words.  It was hard to voice what he felt.  He knew that.  He knew Sam would understand what it meant to have someone save your life, but Jack knew there was no way for her to understand how Daniel had pulled him from the abyss he was in before the original Abydos mission.

Death had seemed like the only sane option to Jack until Daniel showed up with his dorky theories and overstated geekiness.  Daniel had nagged, cajoled, bullied and listened Jack back from that abyss.  It was all that, and the fact that Daniel needed him.

They’d needed each other.  That was what really had done it . . . Being mutually needed.  That’s what Jack had needed then and still did.  That’s why he was still doing this . . . not for his country, not for his world, not even for the SGC, but for his team - his family.  Daniel, Teal’c and Sam needed him.  His three months on Edora had proven that to him.  While he’d given up on returning home, Daniel, Teal’c, and especially Sam did everything they could to get him home.  Daniel had told him, in typical Daniel fashion, that Jack was missed and needed as part of SG-1.

 

“This world owes Daniel Jackson a great deal of gratitude and they’ll never know,” Sam said quietly, breaking the short silence.

Jack smiled slightly at that.  It was like that for her as well.  There were so many projects and inventions she had created that helped protect, defend and improve the way of life for the people of Earth.  And yet, no one outside the SGC would ever know what she had done.

 

After a slight pause he continued, “What it boils down to . . . I guess all I’m saying, Sam, is that I won’t push.  When you’re ready to talk, I’ll be here.  Daniel will be here.  Even Teal’c will be here if you would rather talk to him.  Just don’t wait too long to talk . . . Don’t let it destroy you like it almost destroyed me.”

“Thank you Jack,” she sighed, “I really appreciate that.”

He smiled at her again.

“Feel better?” he asked.  At her nod, he said, “Then let’s get this pain killer into you and get you tucked back in and back to sleep.”

As he handed her the pills and water, Jack could see Sam’s eyes already drifting shut.  She took the pills without protest and gingerly slid back under the covers.  He gently pulled the sheet and blanket up to her chin and tucked it under her.

Her eyes were totally closed when he bent down and kissed her on the forehead.

“Good night, Sam,” he whispered, “Sweet dreams.”

He turned off the light and turned to walk out of the room.

“Thank you, sir, you too,” Sam said quietly, her voice slurred with the edges of sleep.

Jack stopped at the sound of her voice.  He just grinned before he stepped through the door to head off to his room, content in knowing Sam would sleep soundly now until morning.


	6. Chapter 6

Sam woke to the smell of coffee and bacon.  Hugging her pillow to her, she couldn’t quite figure out where she was, but then she opened her eyes and saw the picture next to the bed.  She wasn’t at the hospital any more, with hospital food and regular visits in the night from the nurse.  She was at Jack’s place.  She could relax. 

She remembered Jack sitting on the edge of her bed.   He had been blissfully unaware of his near-nakedness.  She smiled at their conversation and then remembered the kiss on her forehead before he’d turned out the light.  He’d kissed her!  Granted, it had been a chaste peck on her forehead, but he’d kissed her!

Then, the memories of the previous night’s dreams came back. Dreams that had been all too real.  Shoving away the giddy feeling she’d felt growing in her stomach.

In an attempt to escape the haunting nightmares, Sam threw a sweatshirt over her tank top.  Following her nose, she headed toward the wonderful smells emanating from Jack’s kitchen.  She heard him humming tunelessly as pans banged the stove and then she heard the distinct clink of plates and silverware being set on a table.

She walked into the room and stopped just inside the doorway.  She wasn’t quite sure which was stranger - the gentle domesticity of Jack humming tunelessly, frying eggs and setting filled orange juice glasses with pretty little flowers on them on the table or finding Jack, barefoot and dressed in a dark blue t-shirt and khaki shorts, both covered by a frilly apron that read, “Kiss me, I’m Irish and I’m the cook!”

Sam couldn’t stop the giggle that bubbled up from inside.  At her giggle, Jack turned to face her with a million watt smile, his beautiful brown eyes full of warmth only for her.  She felt the giggle die and something else catch in her throat.

 

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” he said, “I thought you’d never wake up!  You timed it just right, as usual, though.  Breakfast is just about ready.”

Jack turned back to the eggs and bacon.  She looked so adorably lost in her oversized Air Force Academy sweatshirt and her navy shorts with her blonde hair tumbled around her face.  He didn’t know whether to hug her or feed her.  He decided feeding would probably be safer for his sanity.

“I thought you had to see General Hammond this morning,” she said warily.

“Already done,” he said casually, “talked to the General bright and early three and a half hours ago!”

Sam glanced at the clock.  It was already 11:30 am!

“I can’t believe I slept so long!  You should’ve woken me!” she exclaimed.

“To do what?” he asked gently, “You were sleeping soundly for the first time in what? Weeks?  Who can blame you?  No one sleeps in hospital beds, and you had to do it for what? Four weeks?  You’re a better man than I am!”

She grinned at him before he sobered.

“Besides, after those two nightmares, I wasn’t going to wake you unless it was absolutely necessary. You were under orders to sleep, eat and heal.  You were just following orders.  And now, you’re going to follow another order and eat some breakfast.”

He put some bacon on each plate, flipped each egg once and slid two onto her plate.

“Now sit,” he ordered, “Eat.”

She did as told and tucked in.  He let her eat in silence, surreptitiously watching her as he fried up a couple more eggs.  Plating up his two eggs, he sat and dug in.  Until he did so, he hadn’t realized exactly how hungry he was.  They finished their breakfast in the relative silence of forks clinking against quickly emptying plates and quiet murmurs of appreciation for the good food.  When she’d finished, Sam sat back and smiled in contentment as Jack finished the last of his bacon.

“That was really good, sir!” she grinned, “The best meal I’ve had in a long time.”

He frowned slightly before saying, “Well, hospital food generally does suck.  I’m glad you enjoyed it.  You need to eat more before Dr. Frasier will okay you for duty again . . . Now,” he said as he stood and began gathering the dishes, “shall I tell you what Hammond’s assignment is while I clean up?”

“Please!” she said eagerly, grabbing her own dishes, “Is it exciting?”

Jack grabbed her dishes from her.

“You just sit.  I’ll do this,” he said firmly.

“But, sir!”

“No! No, ‘but sirs!’ do you hear me?  You are under orders to rest.  If you want to help out a bit tomorrow, I’ll let you.  But today you do nothing,” he growled.

“Okay,” she grumbled.

“Now, as for the assignment, I think it’s pretty cool.  It doesn’t involve lying to my team.  And,” he paused for effect as he turned toward the sink, “it involves my whole team.”

He checked over his shoulder to see he’d gotten her full attention.  He took his time concentrating on rinsing dishes and getting them in the dishwasher.  He grinned to himself as he began to see and hear the telltale signs of her impatient fidgeting.  He could hear her tapping her nail on the orange juice glass, a sure sign that she was ready to implode.

“Sir?” she said finally, “The mission?”

He grinned fully as he turned back to face her.

“Oh, that . . . yes,” he said as casually as he could, “Well, General Hammond is under the impression that SG-1 needs a vacation.  One with no rocks, no artifacts, no experiments, no paperwork, and my favorite, no Goa’uld.  Anyway, he suggested that the team take a vacation on P3X---, I mean P4X-234.  Man I hate those stupid designations!”

“P4X-234?” Sam asked with a chuckle at the Colonel’s frustration of the SGC’s designation system, “I don’t remember that one.”

“Neither did I,” Jack admitted, “Seems SG-9 got the original mission.  Apparently, it was a planet not on the Abydos cartouche, so the Goa’uld haven’t found it.  To top it off, there is nothing that could possibly distract our favorite archaeologist: no ruins, no rocks, no artifacts, and no indigenous humanoid life forms.  There is also no naquada or scientific do-hickeys for our favorite scientist to play with.  Nothing but lush, beautiful forests and beaches that go on for miles!

“So what do you think? SG-1 family vacation in paradise for five glorious days and nights? . . . No phone, no cars, not a single luxury . . . could be fun? . . . Could be relaxing?”

Sam grinned.

“Sir, are you telling me you are willing to be bored for five days?”

“Ah . . . no!” he said, returning the grin, “Didn’t I mention?  There are tons of lakes filled with fish!  Teal’c can’t complain now!”

Sam laughed and then gasped at the pain in her side.  Wincing, but still with a smile on her face, she said, “See!  I knew there was a catch!”

At the rolling of his eyes at her unintentional pun, she groaned.

“I just knew you’d find a way to get me to go fishing one of these days,” she smiled.

“So . . .” he grinned, “Is that a yes, then?”

“Yes,” she said brightly, “I think it’s a great idea!”


	7. Chapter 7

Sam stood in front of the Stargate six days later, sans casts, with a trepidation she hadn’t ever felt, even the very first time she’d walked through the ‘gate four years ago.  She was about to go on her very first vacation since graduating from the Academy.  But that wasn’t what had her so nervous.  The fact that she was going to ‘planet paradise’ with the three most important men in her life wasn’t even bothering her . . .okay, it was bothering her a bit that one Jack O’Neill in particular was going with her..

What bothered her the most was that she was going to this planet ‘where the beaches go on forever’ for five days of R & R with these three men and she had to wear a bathing suit she’d never seen or even tried on.  These three had never seen her in anything less than a tank top and her boxers, and even then she’d been embarrassed.  Now . . . a bathing suit . . . and a suit she hadn’t picked out at that.

 

_Her old suit had been so out of date and threadbare that Cassandra laughed until she was almost blue._

_“This was such a bad idea!” Sam had cried plaintively as she looked at herself in the old one piece suit.  She turned hoping the new angle would make the old suit look more acceptable._

_“Oh, Sam,” Cass had giggled, falling backward on the bed in her glee, “That thing is older than I am!  When’s the last time you had a new suit? . . . No, don’t answer.  I don’t want to know!  That thing’s falling apart!  You go in the water once and you’ll be begging Colonel Jack for a towel just so you can get out of the water!  You need a new one!”_

_Sam had blushed.  The thought of Jack seeing her naked was not all that unpleasant.  However, the thought of having Teal’c and Daniel see her that way too is what convinced her to head to the mall with Cassandra.  They went shopping for something new, but Cass rejected every suit that Sam picked out._

_She kept saying, “Sam that’s not you! . . . Ugh! . . . No way! . . . Why would you want to wear that?. . . That’s too prim and proper, Sam. . . . You’re going to a beach with men!  C’mon, show some skin!”_

_“Cassandra!” Sam finally cried in frustration, “These are my co-workers!  I am not supposed to be strutting around half naked in front of them!”_

_“Ah! For cryin out loud!” Cass said in a perfect imitation of Jack O’Neill, “They’re just guys!  You’re gorgeous!  Why go to a beach planet and not take advantage of the beach?”_

_Sam had to admit, Cass was right.  If she had been going on a vacation by herself or with anyone else, she wouldn’t have cared whether the suit covered her breasts and butt completely or not.  But this was Jack . . . and Daniel . . . and Teal’c.  There was no suit that would cover her enough, she felt._

_After several days of bickering, Cassandra had given up on Sam and her, in Cassandra’s teenage opinion, unnecessary modesty._

_“Forget it, Sam!”  Cass said with an irritating sweetness that Sam had known she shouldn’t ignore, “You leave on vacation tomorrow!  Let me pick something out.”_

_When Sam protested, Cass had laughed, “I promise,” she had raised her hand solemnly, “I’ll take Mom and she’ll have final say.  It’ll show you off, but won’t embarrass you.  You need to just relax . . . and trust me.”_

_It wasn’t that Sam didn’t trust Cassandra to pick out a decent bathing suit; it was just that . . . she had seen the wispy things that Cass had picked out for herself and . . . Hell, who was she kidding? It was that she didn’t trust Cass to pick out a decent bathing suit._

 

Now Sam stood in front of the open Stargate with the bag Janet had handed her only moments before stuffed in the top of her pack.  Daniel was grinning at Teal’c as if he knew what Janet had handed her.  Suddenly, five days on a tropical planet in her BDU’s didn’t seem such a bad idea.

 

“Okay, campers!  Let’s move out!”  Jack said, already in a better mood than he’d been in what seemed a decade.

“SG-1 you have a go,” General Hammond said over the loudspeaker, a little smile on his face, “Have fun.  We’ll expect to hear from you in a couple of days.”

Jack stepped up the ramp behind the rest of his team.  He turned to face Hammond and threw him a cheeky salute.

“No offense General, but don’t call us, we’ll call you!” Jack said with a grin as he did an about-face and stepped through the event horizon.

“Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” Hammond muttered under his breath, only heard by Lt. Graham Simmons, who was sitting at the dialing computer terminal.

Graham just grinned, knowing full well that that was an order that would more than likely go unheeded.

 

Now Sam stood in a little grove turning the package in her hands.  Overhead the sun was warm and the men splashed in the water, out of sight of her sanctuary. The place really was a paradise of sun and sand.  Her friends had just stripped off where they stood; they had dressed for the occasion, with their suits under their BDU’s.  They’d grinned at her when she’d firmly insisted that she would find a more secluded place to make her change. 

Finding a little grove of trees that shielded her from the curious eyes of her teammates, she pulled the suit out of the package and dressed, with a lot of nervousness.  What had she let Cass get her into?  But she was pleasantly surprised to find that she did indeed like the suit that Cass had picked out for her.

The suit was an amazing color blue, it matched her eyes just enough to create a contrast.  It wasn’t too revealing, which was good.  It covered her butt well; she didn’t feel it would ride up at all.  And the top covered and supported her breasts, making them look a little fuller than they already were.  There was a little gauzy floral skirt that was totally transparent and did nothing to hide any part of her backside.

“What’s the point in this thing?” she asked no one in particular.

 

She heard Daniel’s yelp cut off by a sudden splash.  She’d bet anything that Teal’c had ducked him yet again.  That would make five times in the last fifteen minutes.  Teal’c, for all that stoic politeness sure had a touch of the devil about him.

She hoped that if she waited long enough, maybe Daniel would get sick of the torment and get out.  Then she’d have someone to talk to and she could stay covered up.  But that was not to be.

“Carter!”  bellowed Jack, “Get your ass out here!”

“But, sir--” she started, but was cut off.

“Don’t ‘But, sir’ me, Carter or I’ll come in there and pull you out myself, regardless of what you are or are not wearing!” he threatened.  His voice was getting closer as she heard him splashing out of the water.

“Okay! Okay!” she cried, desperate to do this on her own terms, “But you all have to turn around!”

“Jeez, Carter!  It’s not like we haven’t seen it all before!” he yelled.

“Oh, yes, it is, sir,” she mumbled under her breath.  Louder, she said, “Just turn around or I’ll dig my heels in right here!”

“Fine!” Jack yelled.

Sam peeked out through the trees and saw that all three men were now turned toward the rising sun, facing away from her.  Daniel and Teal’c both stood in the water about ten feet from each other.  Jack stood half way between the edge of the water and the stand of bushes she’d been behind. 

Sighing a deep breath of relief, she stepped out onto the soft, still warm sand.  She dug her toes into the sand, tensing every muscle from toe to head and then relaxed.  It’s just Daniel, Teal’c and Jack, right?  No biggie.  With another sigh, she stepped toward the water.  She’d almost made it to the water when she heard the gasp and then a low wolf whistle just behind her.

“Holy shit,” she heard Jack say very softly.

 

Jack didn’t know what to do.  He didn’t know where to look.  That suit – WOW!  He knew Sam had been dreading putting that thing on all day, but he couldn’t tell why!  It made him realize just how much of a woman Sam really was.  And what that did to his body!

When she’d stepped out from behind the bushes, he really hadn’t meant to peek, but hearing her “swishing” by had caught his attention.  Sam never “swished”.  He had caught the flutter of the thing that might be called a skirt out of the corner of his eye and had been drawn.

Before he even realized it, he had whistled.  Sam turned on him so fast that she didn’t catch Daniel . . . and Teal’c turning around to catch a glimpse of her.  He hadn’t really, either.  Instead, he’d just seen it peripherally before he looked her over.

“Sam, you look great,” he growled.  Boy did she ever!  Great enough to devour!

Seeing fear and a little touch of frustration in her eyes, Jack visibly shook himself.  _‘Whoa, boy!’_ he thought, _‘Not so intense!’_

He tempered his gaze and repeated himself.

“Really, Sam,” he said again, “You really do look great!”

Her smile was worth every bit of waiting.  She threw him one of her patented million watt smiles and his heart nearly stopped.  They stared at each other, a thousand things unsaid.

“Uh . . . Sam?” came Daniel’s call from the water, breaking the connection, “C-c-can I turn around now?  Or at least move? I-I-I’m freezing here.”

Jack barked out a laugh and Sam chuckled.  Leave it to Daniel to be freezing on a tropical planet!

“Yes, Daniel,” she said with a smile, “You can turn around and get dunked by Teal’c again.”

And she laughed as loud as the rest of them when Teal’c did just that.

 

The day had been fun, for all of them.  Sam had finally given up all shyness and relaxed.  They had spent the day playing in the water like a bunch of kids.  In the afternoon, Daniel had spent some time making an actual sand castle.  Sam had eventually come over to help.  But the castle was destroyed when Jack tripped over it while trying to catch a Frisbee that Teal’c had thrown.  The destruction of the castle led to a free-for-all chase that Sam had had to soon sit out of due to the ache in her ribs until the ‘gate had opened and General Hammond had requested their immediate return.

 

“Welcome back, SG-1!” General George Hammond said heartily, “Major Carter, sorry to cut your recuperation short, but the technicians have got your program installed and were going to start running it.  I thought perhaps you’d like to initiate it?”

“Oh!” Sam smiled one of her hundred watt smiles at the General, “Thank you, General, I would!”

“Alright then,” Hammond said, “Stow your gear and get checked out in the infirmary.  We’ll debrief in two hours.”

He silently watched his flagship team descended the ramp and head out to the hallway.


	8. Chapter 8

“Sam? You okay?” Dr. Frasier asked, “You seem a little…I don’t know…lost, I guess,”

“No Janet, I’m fine,” Sam replied quickly…a little too quickly.

“Sam?” Janet said in that don’t-give-me-that-bull tone.

Sam looked at her friend and smirked.  Damn Janet for knowing her so well.  Yeah, she was feeling a little out of sorts, but she couldn’t fully explain the problem, not even to Janet.

The mission to P2X-416, the first hit on her cold dialing program had not gone well.  Nyan, the young archeologist who had unburied the Stargate on his planet was now a refugee on Earth and was helping Daniel as a research assistant.  Teal’c was quickly recovering well from their incarceration, his new friend and assistant creating a welcome diversion.  As for herself and the Colonel…there were two different stories.

Sam could tell the Colonel had been greatly affected by the team’s time in the little electrified metal boxes.  Though no one else had really seen it and the Colonel would die before admitting it, Sam had seen the look of terror cross his face as they had been manhandled into each one.  She thought she understood why he’d been terrified, but she couldn’t be sure until he actually told her.  But when they had finally gotten home and were on their ways to showers and debriefing, she had tried to approach the subject.

 

_“Sir?” she’d asked._

_“Yeah?”_

_“Are you okay?”_

_“Yeah, Carter,” he’d replied gruffly, “Why wouldn’t I be?”_

_“Well, sir,” she said, leaning closer to him, “it seemed that you were a bit…unnerved…by our being in those boxes.”_

_“Yeah…” he said softly, “But I’m over that.  So there’s no need to talk about it.  Do you understand?”_

_“Yes, sir,” she said quietly, “But sir…”_

_“Carter,” he said strongly now, “Leave it.”_

_“Yes, sir.”_

 

And that had been it.  He wasn’t going to talk about it before he was ready.  She suspected it had something to do with his time in Iraq, but she knew also not to push.

As for her time on P2X-416, it had not gone well for her either.  Rygar and his men had definitely affected her.  When they had started to remove her from her cage the first time, the Colonel had nearly screamed at them to take him first.  The terror of being in the box not withstanding, he had wanted to protect her from whatever they were going to do.  They had taken him, but when they returned him, beaten and bruised, she had been next.  When they had removed her from the cage to ask her questions, they had not been gentle.

She could feel the bruises they had left on her skin. She could also still feel their hands touching her.  They hadn’t sexually molested her.  And by all rights, she should have been able to fight them off if it had come down to that.  But it hadn’t happened because she had broken down like a baby.  Their hands...their touches...had brought the memories of Jake back.  The memories had nearly driven her to madness.

“Sam?” Janet asked tentatively, “They...they didn’t . . .”

“No, Janet,” Sam hurried to reassure her, “They didn’t do anything that I normally couldn’t handle.”

“Normally?  You mean you couldn’t handle it?”

“Well,” Same hesitated, “The kept grabbing me...touching me...fondling me...trying to intimidate me...Normally, I could hold my own, tell them to go to hell...but...but...”

“But the memories of your assault kept intruding?” Janet finished.

“Yeah,” Sam whispered, silent tears sliding down her cheeks, “I-I’m afraid I didn’t really behave like a good soldier…but it may have saved me from worse.”

“What do you mean you didn’t behave like a good soldier?  Sam? What did you tell them?”

“Nothing!” Sam said in shock, angrily wiping away the tears, “They learned nothing from me…Just that…well, the memories of Jake came flooding in and I started crying…But my crying stopped them.  I think they hadn’t expected me to cry…they put me back in my cage right after that.”

She laughed, but it sounded hollow.

“The problem is,” she sighed, “All those memories were thrown back in my face…going home is only going to make it worse.”

“Well, weren’t you staying at the Colonel’s before you left for Paradise?” Janet smiled, “Why don’t you go back there?”

“Janet!” Sam said, a blush creeping up her neck to her cheeks, “I was injured.  I’m not any more…And besides, he doesn’t need me rattling around his house!”

“Oh, I don’t know about that…” Janet said with a grin.  She could see the blush growing deeper.

“He needs company too,” she continued, “If you can’t go to his house with all that space, I don’t know where you can go.  I’d invite you to stay with Cassie and me, but my brother and sister-in-law and their three kids are coming tomorrow and staying for a couple of weeks.

“Why don’t you see if the Colonel could put you up for a few days…just until my brother leaves…”

“Okay,” sighed Sam, “but I still think it’s a bad idea…and on top of it, I still have to go home tonight…it is something I definitely don’t want to do…”

“Oh, Sweetie, I wish I could go with you, but SG-5 is due within the next hour and I just came on duty before SG-1 got back.  Why don’t you ask the Colonel to take you home?”

“Yeah…”Sam sighed, “Okay, I will…that is, if I’m free to go?”

“Sure, Sam,” Janet smiled, “You’re all clear.”

 

Janet watched her friend leave the infirmary.  She’d seen the blushes.  She’d heard the protestations.  But she also knew her friend very well.  Sam may not want to admit it to the world, and rightly so, but she was a goner for the Colonel. She hoped it didn’t become a problem.

Suddenly alarms went off.

“Scheduled off-world activation, incoming traveler,” came the voice.

SG-5 was home.  Time to get back to work.


	9. Chapter 9

“I really appreciate you coming with me, sir,” Sam said lightly as they climbed the steps to her apartment door, “I really needed the moral support.”

“Hey,” he smiled, trying to keep it light as well, “No problem, Carter.”

He could see the fear in her eyes.  He could see how much she was dreading going back into that apartment.  Even though things had been cleaned up and she’d been back a couple of times since her attack, her memories were still there.

As she opened the door, he heard her sigh.  When she turned around, the tears glistened on her lashes.

“I can’t, Jack,” she whispered, “I feel like such a fool.  I know he’s dead.  I know all traces of him; including the bruises and broken bones are gone.  But I can’t feel…at home here.  There’s too much bitterness…Too many bad memories.”

Jack stepped over the threshold, pushed the door closed and pulled her into his arms.

“Ah, baby,” he murmured, hugging her tight, “I’m so sorry.  I know how hard this has gotta be.  If it helps, I understand.  You don’t need to go in there.”

 

Sam let him take her into his embrace.  His warmth and strength bolstered her flagging spirits.  She leaned into his hug, wrapping her arms around him tightly.  It just seemed natural for her to raise her lips to his.

 

The contact of her lips with his was not what he had expected, but once it happened, he definitely did not want it to end.  Her gentle kiss slowly became more and more insistent and demanded his response.  He applied just the slightest bit of pressure to her lips with his tongue and she opened her mouth to accept him.

He moaned at the sudden rush of blood to his head and his groin.  She was feeling it too, he could tell as she pushed her lower body closer to his.  Her hands roamed his back, sliding under his worn leather jacket.  His hands followed suit and began following the curves of her back, her sides and down to her backside.  When his hands found the curves of her butt, he squeezed the firm round cheeks and pulled her closer, showing her how much her kiss and her hands were affecting him.

He was losing control of the situation.  He knew it and was helpless to do anything about it.  All the arguments he’d had with himself about how she wasn’t ready, how they couldn’t be together were racing in his head, but his hands, his lips, his whole body refused to pay attention to the warnings.  Slowly, his hands moved back to a safer position on her hips.  He applied the slightest pressure, his body not wanting to let her go.  Finally, as his body rebelled against his brain, he was able to overcome the resistance and gently push her away.  Their lips remained locked and clung together even as the distance between them increased in a desperate attempt to avoid separation.

“Sam,” he sighed as their lips finally parted, “Sam…don’t…please.”

 She simply stared at him, a dazed look on her face.

“God, Sam,” he whispered, “I want …But we--”

She interrupted his faltering attempt at resistance with a kiss that knocked him back against the door.  The kiss was mind blowing.  All her feelings…all her need…was in that kiss.  Immediately, his resolved melted away. _‘Screw it’_ he thought and began to lose himself in her kiss, her body, in their mutual need for intimate connection.

Her hands were all over him.  She had pulled his dark green t-shirt from the waistband of his black jeans.  Her fingers were touching the skin on his stomach so tentatively; he had not felt it at first.  Her hands began to slide along his sides to his back to pull herself closer to him.

He wanted that flesh connection too.  He needed it.  He pulled her shirt from her tight fitting jeans.  When his fingers touched her flesh, the heat from her nearly scalded him.  His touch had a different reaction from her.

Suddenly, her fingers were clawing at the hem of his shirt, lifting it toward his head.  She stopped long enough to shove his jacket from his shoulders before she pulled the shirt up to his chin.  She raised the t-shirt, forcing his arms up.  When it was at their lips, she released him long enough to shove the shirt over and behind his head, effectively pinning his arms behind him.  She held the t-shirt in place, gaining total control as her mouth re-took possession of his.

All he could do was let her have her way with him.  Oh, he could have released himself from the constraint of the t-shirt bond, but he was getting a strange pleasure out of her dominating him.

Her lips left his to begin a new exploration.  She forged a trail with her lips, teeth, and tongue over his face and across his square jaw.  Her lips followed his jaw line down his neck and past his collarbone.  When she reached his bare chest, she paid special attention to his nipples.  He groaned as she took the first into her mouth and gently sucked on it.

He groaned at the sensations she was creating and the shock that went from his nipple to his groin.  When her free hand slid down his body, he nearly whimpered.  The feeling of her mouth on his left nipple, right over his heart and the back of her hand brushing his stomach as her fingers delved into the waistband of his jeans made him weak in the knees.  Before she could explore any further, Jack’s cell phone rang.

 

“Damn,” he swore as Sam froze and pulled away quickly. A sudden chill ran along his skin when his body was no longer in contact with Sam’s.

He really didn’t want to move to answer the damned thing, but only General Hammond would call him at the number after he’d been given an order to stand down.  No one else knew it…except Daniel.  And he wouldn’t call unless it was absolutely necessary.  He bent over to catch up his jacket.  Pulling the phone out of his jacket with one hand, he pulled his T-shirt back over his head with the other and answered the phone on the fourth ring.

“O’Neill”

“Jack?”

“Yeah Daniel,” he growled, “You need something?”

“Yeah…uh…well…”

“Damn it Daniel, spit it out!”

“Is Sam near you?” Daniel asked very quickly.

Jack’s heart stopped.  How would Daniel know they were together?

“Janet said I might find her with you ‘cause you were taking her home,” came the bland reply to the unspoken question.

“Uh…yeah…sure,” Jack answered, then, handing the phone to Sam said, “Daniel.”

 

Sam was already in a quandary.  What the hell had she been thinking?  Kissing her C.O. . . Well, he had kissed her back, but she had initiated the act.  When Jack turned to hand her his phone, Sam’s face turned a brighter red as the implication of Daniel’s call hit her.

“Hi Daniel,” she said as lightly as she could muster.

“Hey Sam,” Daniel said cheerfully, “Sorry to call you on Jack’s phone, but you weren’t answering yours…Janet said he might know where you were.”

Sam relaxed.  She had not turned her phone on after she’d left the infirmary.  Calling Jack when she’d told Janet he was going to bring her home was only logical.

“No problem, Daniel,” she smiled, “What did you need?”

“Oh…yeah…uh…” he stammered, “Well, SG-5 came back with some interesting artifacts.  They’ve got Goa’uld writing on them and I’m in the process of translating now…but Sam…it has some kind of power source in it.  Your science team has no clue what it is…but they won’t let me near it to do some verifications.”

She started grinning as he talked.  She knew what he was going to ask before he even asked.  Her science team was so jealous of every technological find that they sometimes forgot the necessity of Daniel’s translation team to take the time they needed with translations for safety’s sake.  Occasionally, she would have to intervene as ranking officer and remind her team of that fact.

“I’ll be back in an hour,” she chuckled, “Tell Remmie to leave it ‘til then.”

“Thanks, Sam,” he sighed, the relief evident in his voice.

As she hung up the phone, Jack smiled.

“I’m guessing you’re heading out,” he stated blandly.

“Yes, sir,” she smiled shyly, “Remmie’s giving Daniel a hard time again.  I really think she’s trying to get his attention…She sure is going about it the wrong way!”

Jack laughed, “Yeah, well…from the rumors I’m hearing, Remmie hasn’t got a chance.”

 

Sam was lost in her own world of doubt.  What would she say to the Colonel?  How was she going to apologize?  Well, starting would be a help…

“Uh, sir…”she started slowly, “Um…about what just happened—“

“Nothing happened, Carter,” he said firmly, though his guts and his groin were reminding him differently.  “Nothing that happened will be mentioned outside this room.”

At her stunned look, he continued, “Carter, it’s been a rough few months for us.  You, me and the team.  What happened, in a way, was only normal.  So let’s forget it and move on. OK?”

“Um…OK, sir…Uh, sir?” she asked hesitantly, “Do you think I could crash at your place ‘til I find a new apartment? I really don’t--”

“Carter,” he said with a gentle smile, “You know you don’t even have to ask.  Of course you can stay at my place.  Let’s grab some of your stuff and I’ll take it back to my place while you go straighten out Lieutenant Hopkins.”

Sam grinned at him and he almost took her back in his arms, but she turned at that moment and walked back to the bedroom to gather a few more things to take to Jack’s.

 

When she walked into the bedroom, she paused only for a moment when she looked at the bed.  The memories came flooding back but she quickly pushed them away.  Rummaging at the bottom of her closet, she found her old beat up suitcase.  Throwing it on to the now offensive bed, she quickly opened it and then went to her chest of drawers.  Pulling the top drawer completely out of the bureau, she turned and dumped its entire contents into the suitcase.  She repeated this action with drawer number two and three.

She went back to the closet and pulled her garment bag from the back of the rod.  She emptied her closet, grabbing first her dress uniform, still wrapped in its plastic from the cleaners, three dresses, four blouses and six pairs of pants.  Hanging them in the bag, she stooped down and grabbed six pairs of shoes, including her dress uniform shoes, her biker boots and a pair of sexy go-go boots that she’d been meaning to find a reason to wear.  Stuffing the dress shoes into the garment bag, the rest went into the still only half full suitcase.

She heard the Colonel chuckling from the door.  She looked up at him, pausing only for a moment.

“What?” she asked as she continued to move shoes about in the suitcase.

“Nothing,” he grinned, “It’s just that now I know why you always try to carry an iron wherever we go…Ya know, if ya packed a little neater, things would be half so wrinkled.”

She blinked.  She looked at her nearly packed suitcase and then back at the Colonel.  She laughed as she realized how funny it looked.  She had just dumped everything she owned into the case, but it was made for that specific purpose.  There was no need to be neat when it would all fit.

“Yeah,” she said as she turned to the closet and pulled her full size iron from the top shelf.  Throwing the boxed appliance on top of the clothes and shoes, she continued, “I’m not normally this bad, but I just need to get out of here.”

Jack nodded his understanding as she passed him to head to the hallway.  Disappearing into the bathroom, she returned with a toiletry kit.  She stopped at the small linen closet and grabbed the five large bath towels, six washcloths and four medium sized towels in her free arm.  She walked back into the room, dumped the towels in the case and stuffed the toiletry bag in a space along the side before shutting the lid.  In one swift motion, she grabbed the garment bag in one hand and the huge suitcase in the other and headed back into the hallway.

Jack grabbed the suitcase from her and followed out to the living room, through the door, down the stairs and to his truck.  She didn’t say a word until he’d opened the truck, stowed the suitcase and then, taking the garment bag out of her hands, hung the bag on a hook behind the driver’s seat.

“Thanks, sir,” she sighed, “I’m going to head back to base.  I’ll be back at your place probably in a few hours.  This shouldn’t take long.”

Jack smiled at her.  They both knew that “not taking long” could mean that she wouldn’t arrive until morning, if at all.  If she were distracted by a project, he wouldn’t see her until their briefing at 0800 the next morning.  Without a word, Jack took his house key from his key ring and pressed it into her hand.

“Let yourself in when you get home.  Your stuff will be in your room,” he said.

 

Sam looked up at him then down at the key in her hand.  “Home”, he had said.  Home with Jack sounded really good…too good.

He gave her a mock salute and got into his truck.  Rolling down the window as he started the engine, he gestured with his head for her to come closer.  She stepped nearer.

“I’ll wait up for you,” he said quietly.

She blushed as he smiled and then threw the F-350 into gear. Wait up for her, she thought.  It had been years since someone had waited up for her.  She really liked the idea.


	10. Chapter 10

Yep.  They were gonna die.

That’s all Jack could think of as he watched the remaining twenty or so Jaffa pour through the entrance to the temple.  Their fear of Kheb was either fully dissipated by the use of staff weapons or they were hiding their fear well.  Either way, the Jaffa had the upper hand and he knew of no way out.

He glanced at Sam.  She was looking at him with stoic bravery on her face, but he could see the fear and sadness in her eyes.  He could feel her sadness.  He too was sad that they would never make love, sad that it had to end before he had even admitted something was between them.

Out of the corner of his eye, Jack saw Daniel step from the temple, his hands raised.

“Drop your weapons,” he said firmly.

Jack’s eyes darted first to Daniel and then to the Jaffa.

“You heard him,” Jack said with a bravado he didn’t feel.  What the hell was Daniel doing, standing barefooted in the entryway to the temple telling the Jaffa to drop their weapons?  Sure, he’d just said the same thing, but it was his job to make the outrageous demands.

“I was talking to you, Jack,” Daniel said.

“Wha...what?” Jack stuttered.

“Do it now, all of you,” Daniel said with an edginess in his voice.

“DANIEL?” Jack said, that one word conveying all the questions, all the frustration and all the anger he was feeling at the moment.

“Jack, I was wrong, I was very wrong. One of those aliens I thought was long gone is still here,” Daniel said, a desperation growing in his voice.

“Sir,’ Carter said matter-of-factly, “we put our guns down and we’re dead.”

Jack looked at Sam.  She was right of course.

“You are out-numbered and surrounded. You will die if you do not,” said the head Jaffa.  Jack wanted to shout at him, _“We’re dead either way, you idiot! Give us a minute!”_ but he didn’t.

“Jack,” Daniel said with emphasis, “if you’re ever going to trust me on anything, now is the time. The alien is the one with all the powers and she is not someone you wanna fool with...if you get my drift.”

Jack watched as Carter, Teal’c and even Bra’tac slowly put down their weapons.  It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Daniel.  It was the fact that as soon as he put his gun down, they were all dead.  He had too much to live for to die now.

“We must do it,” Bra’tac said quietly.

Jack looked at Bra’tac, Teal’c, Daniel and then finally Sam.  There were tears in her eyes.  He nodded ever so slightly before slowly putting his gun on the ground.

“Kill them,” said the lead Jaffa.

‘ _Yep,’_ thought Jack, _‘SO knew this was going to go down this way.’_

But as the beams from the staff weapons shot at each of them, they slowed.  Then a light came flying out of nowhere and swept them away.  In stunned silence, Jack heard Daniel say, “Bye.”

Suddenly, the sky that had darkened due to the arrival of more and more Goa’uld ships split open.  Lightening struck the Jaffa standing in the courtyard of the temple and two Death Gliders that took that moment to fly overhead.

“Well,” Jack said as the lightning disappeared, “that was cool.”

He turned and grinned at Bra’tac and Teal’c.  Both, in their usual way, gave him a straight-faced nod before turning their attention to Daniel and the glowing being that had appeared from the temple.  Jack turned toward Daniel just as the being floated away through the archway at the end of the courtyard.

“I take it that was the Harsesis child she was holding,” Carter said.

“Yeah,” Daniel replied wistfully.

“I thought we needed that kid,” Jack said harshly, “You’re just gonna let her . . .

With a look from Daniel, he stopped.

“No choice, huh?”

Before Daniel could respond, Coburn’s voice came over the COM.

“Colonel O’Neill, this is Major Coburn, come in.”

“Yeah, go ahead Major.”

“Reinforcements are on their way, Sir.”

“Take your time,” said with a bemused smile, “We’re secure.”

“Good to hear, Sir.”

In the background of the COM, Jack heard the Stargate open.

“Uh, Sir, the Stargate just came on. There’s a strange bright light headed this way,” Coburn said.

“Do NOT engage,” Jack replied quickly, “Repeat…get out of the way and DO NOT ENGAGE. In fact, I’m ordering you all to put down your weapons until that light is gone. Do you read?”

“Yes, Sir!” Coburn replied and Jack heard Coburn ordering his men to drop their weapons on the open COM.

“It’s gone, Sir,” Coburn said moments later.

Jack looked at Daniel.  He was still staring out the archway where the being had gone, still in a daze of sorts.

“You alright?” Jack asked him quietly.

“Yeah,” Daniel responded.

“Let’s go home,” Jack said, hauling his rifle to his shoulder and starting out through the courtyard.  Daniel fell in step with him.

“Daniel?” Jack said, continuing his forward progress.

“Yeah?” Daniel responded, still distant.

“Shoes…” Jack said with a bit of a smile.

As Daniel stopped, looked down at his bare feet and turned to begin looking for his boots, he heard Carter chuckling in the background.


	11. Chapter 11

It was less than 24 hours later that Daniel was paging her to the Ops room.  She had just started a project on a new Naquadah decay experiment, but, as usual, it was going to have to be put on hold.

“Sam, you gotta see this,” Daniel said as she entered the Ops room.  There was a video playback already playing on the screen as Jack entered the room, Carter right behind him.  The MALP was obviously traveling down some long walkway in a huge pyramid.

“This is well over a thousand meters high,” Sam said, obviously impressed.

“And as pyramids go, that's...big?” Jack asked.

”I know of no Goa’uld structure of that magnitude,” Teal’c said seriously.

”Definitely Mayan,” Daniel said to himself, “This is a major find; I have to see this.”

”Any signs of life there?” Jack asked ever concerned about possible threats.

”There is a breathable atmosphere, Sir,” she replied, “but no complex life signs.”

Jack never understood how she could know things without any obvious statistics or charts in front of her.

”This is a major find. I have to see this.”

”You too?” Jack asked, a bit of sarcasm touching his voice.

”Well look at these readings,” Sam said excitedly, “Sir, these are leptons.”

”Get out,” Jack said.  He hated when she talked like that.  She knew he had no clue what the hell leptons were.

”Well that means something inside this pyramid is slowing down neutrinos,” she said, the excitement growing in her voice.

’Uh oh,’ Jack thought, ‘Super Sam strikes again! I hate when she makes me feel so stupid…but then again, she looks so beautiful when she’s passionate about something…’ “Normally neutrinos pass right through ordinary matter no matter how dense. I mean something like 500 million billion just passed through you…”

He could see the mischief in her eyes.

”No matter how dense?” he said slyly. ‘Oh she was gonna pay for that one!’

”A material that slows neutrinos could change everything we know about physics, the formation of the universe…”she continued.  Luckily, Daniel interrupted.

”Wait a minute Sam. Get, ah get closer,” Daniel said.

”I can’t, the MALP’s too big to cross the span,” Sam replied.

”Then zoom in,” he ordered and pointed at the object in the center of the screen, “On that.”

”It appears to be a human skull,” Teal’c said quietly.

”No that’s a crystal skull,” Daniel said firmly.

”How do you know?” Sam asked, looking up at Daniel.

”Because it’s exactly like the one found in 1971 in Belize,” Daniel said, obviously distracted by the object that now took up the view of the whole screen, “By my grandfather.”

 

Half an hour later, Daniel was standing in front of the Briefing Room screen talking about the skull.  Dr. Janet Frasier joined Jack, Sam, Teal’c and General Hammond.

“I could name at least a dozen different crystal skulls from various parts of the world but the skull that Nick discovered in Belize was unique…”

“Nick?” Jack asked with his eyebrows raised.

”Ah yeah,” Daniel said slowly, “The...ah...great explorer…the...not so great grandfather ...Nicholas Ballard,” Daniel hated trying to explain his grandfather.  That’s why he’d never even brought him up in conversation, “He preferred being called Nick, even when I was a kid. It was...anyway...ah...the point is that no one can explain how the skull Nick discovered was carved, from a single piece of crystal, against the grain, given the technology of the day. He claimed that it possessed a certain power.”

”What kind of power?” asked General Hammond.

”. . . That if one were to look into the eyes of the skull, one would be teleported to see aliens,” Daniel said slowly, reluctant to admit his grandfather’s fallacy, even now.

”Your grandfather saw these aliens?” Teal’c asked.

”I take it his claim didn’t go over very well?” asked Janet Frasier.

”As you might imagine...no,” Daniel admitted, “He tried for years under controlled conditions to make the skull teleport him again but he never could.”

”Doesn’t mean he wasn’t right,” Jack said seriously.

”The academic community didn’t believe your theory that the pyramids were landing sites for alien space ships either,” Sam smiled, supporting Jack’s statement.

”We have to see this,” Jack said firmly.

”I’ll authorize a standard recon mission,” General Hammond said.

”Colonel, I can only guess at the effect this type of radiation may have on the human body. I recommend limited exposure, ten, fifteen minutes at most,” Janet said seriously.

”Wait a minute!  That’s not enough time!” Daniel protested, “I mean there has to be some sort of radiation suit or...“

”Hey! If you’d been listening,” Jack said sarcastically, glancing at Sam quickly, “you know that Nintendos pass through everything.”

”I heard,” Daniel said, trying not to smile at Jack’s obvious stab at Sam, but Sam was talking to Janet.

“Everything,” Jack said flatly.


	12. Chapter 12

God! He hated having to relax…Especially when one of his team members was unconscious in the infirmary and another one was missing. 

Daniel gone. He didn’t believe it, but it was still true. What the hell had happened with that skull? Where had he gone? And what the hell had happened to the rest of them to make Sam still in some kind of coma?

He had been ordered by Dr. Janet Frasier that Napoleonic power monger herself to rest for no less than twenty-four hours. She ordered him to stay on base, so what the hell was he gonna do for twenty-four hours? It was too much time to sleep and he sure as hell didn’t see the mound of paperwork on his desk as relaxing.

There was no hockey to watch. The only thing he had to entertain him for a better part of a day was memories of how his Second in Command was lying in a coma in the infirmary and how they really hadn’t had time to talk, really talk since before they’d found and lost the Harsesis child. Jack decided to check in with some old friends he hadn’t talked to in a few years. That was his plan when he dialed his college buddy’s number.

“Hey, is Tom there?”

“This is Tom,” came the reply.

“Tom, Jack O’Neill.”

“Jack! How the hell are you, man? I was just talkin’ to Sandy about you yesterday. Whoa, talk about weird.”

“Yeah,” Jack said, “Weird…So how’re Sandy…and the kids?”

“Sandy’s great!” Tom said broadly, “In fact she’s expecting twins in a couple of months.”

“Twins? That’s great!” Jack said with fake gusto. After all these years, it still hurt to hear about people’s kids. It didn’t hurt as much as it used to, but the thought of losing Charlie was still painful.

“Thanks! Yeah, we’re all pretty excited around here. Fact is we’re looking for a bigger house right now. With Jenny, Nicky and Junior, the twins are really gonna make this ol’ place pretty damn small.”

“You’re sellin’, huh?” Jack asked, an idea starting to form.

“Yeah,” Tom replied, “We listed it last month. No bites yet. So, we can’t really buy anything until it’s sold.”

“Well, ya know what? There’s obviously a reason I was supposed to call you today, Tom,” Jack said, suddenly not so tired any more, “I have a friend who’s looking for a place. You’re still in that old three bedroom bungalow, right?”

“Yeah…would this person be interested, do you think?”

“Oh yeah,” Jack said with a smile, “She’ll be ecstatic. She needs a place pretty quickly and your place is exactly what she’s looking for…”

“She, huh?” Tom said, his grin obvious even through the phone line.

“Yeah,” Jack said, feeling his face blush at the implication he heard in Tom’s voice, “She is my second-in-command. A good friend who needs a home…Can you like, not sell the place until I get her over there? She’s kind of unavailable right now, but as soon as she can get away I’d like to bring her over. I can almost guarantee she’ll bite.”

“Well…” Tom hesitated.

“Hey, you can keep it on the market, man,” Jack said, “Just let my friend get a look at it before you take any offers, k?”

“I guess I could agree to that,” Tom said amicably.

“Great!” Jack replied, “That’s just great, Tom! Hey man, I gotta run, but tell Sandy congratulations for me and I’ll talk to you as soon as I can.”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Tom said, obviously a bit unsettled by the sudden ending of the conversation, “Any clue when you might be calling?”

“As soon as I can, Tom,” Jack said, “You know the military, man…can’t really say more.”

“Uh yeah, ok Jack…I’ll talk to you soon then.”

“Bye, Tom.”

“Bye.”

He had found a place for Sam. He was happy about it. At the same time, he wanted to mentally beat himself up for it. That meant she wouldn’t be at his place for very long. But with their work situation, that was really probably a good thing. All the same, he really liked the idea of Sam in his house…their house…

His phone rang, breaking him out of his reverie. He instantly thought it would be Daniel and then realized that he had forgotten, if only for a few moments, that Daniel was still missing.

“O’Neill.”

“Colonel,” General Hammond said, “Major Carter’s awake and as rarin’ to go on finding Daniel as you are. I have gotten permission from Dr. Frasier to call you back into duty.”

“Thank you, General!” Jack said loudly, “Remind me to give you a big hearty…handshake when I get back there! I have been bored out of my mind!”

“Jack,” Hammond laughed over the phone, “It’s only been two hours.”

“I know, General…” Jack laughed, “I know. I’ll be down in five.”

“See you then,” Hammond said and hung up.


	13. Chapter 13

“Daniel, for cryin’ out loud! Would you hurry up?” Jack bellowed.

“Cripes, Jack, I’m comin’! Sheesh! It’s not like the place is going to up and move if we get there five minutes late! Besides, Sam’s not even done in her lab, I’ve got plenty of time!”

Jack just growled. As glad as he was that Daniel was back “in phase” as Carter called, he still knew how to push buttons and make him even more stressed than he already was.

“I know…” grinned Daniel before he leaned close to Jack to whisper conspiratorially, though no one was around, “You want it to be perfect for her. You’re nervous she won’t like the house you picked out for her.”

Jack leaned away and looked at him in surprise. He had told Daniel about the house in order for him to help get Carter there. But he didn’t think he’d let on how important it was that she love the house he knew belonged to her.

“Don’t worry, Jack,” Daniel grinned cheekily, “Sam’s gonna love this house almost as much as you love her.”

Jack’s eyes got even rounder as he literally took a step back this time. Daniel knew his feelings for Carter couldn’t be spoken about…out loud…here on base.

“Don’t worry, Jack,” he said again, this time seriously, “I won’t say a word about it.”

“About what?” came Carter’s voice from behind Daniel. Neither of them had noticed her approach and Jack jumped. Daniel waggled his eyebrows at Jack an instant before he turned to Sam.

“About where we’re going! I promised him I would let it be a surprise!”

“Aw…c’mon, sir!” Sam grinned, batting her baby blues at him, “Not even a little hint?”

“Nope,” Jacked sighed, grateful to see no emotion other than curiosity on her face. She hadn’t heard any but the very last of the conversation. “Not a word!”

And that, at least was still the truth. He wanted her to be surprised at the house he knew was just for her. They had spoken at length over the course of the years about her “dream house”. The more she described it, the more real it had become for Jack through the years, though he’d not realized it until he’d talked to Tom. As he thought about the little Craftsman style bungalow Tom and his wife and their kids lived in, he could use Carter’s description of her “dream house” as an almost exact overlay of the place.  
He knew without a doubt the Carter was going to love it…whether it was as much as he loved her…well…


	14. Chapter 14

When they drove up to the little house, Jack nodded to Daniel to remove the blindfold he’d insisted she wear. She blinked a couple of times and then immediately spotted the blue-grey house with the wide front porch.

“Oh, it’s adorable!” she sighed, “Why are we here?”

“It’s a friend of mine’s,” Jack smiled, “It’s for sale.”

She opened the door and slid out of the truck, completely forgetting that Daniel and Jack were with her. She approached the house tentatively, but also as if the house was already hers.

She walked up the steps from the street. The sidewalk led to the steps to the large front porch that had room for two Adirondack chairs sitting to the immediate left of the Craftsman style front door. The screen door was closed, but she could see in through it to the large entryway hall.

Jack smiled as he watched her open the screen door without knocking and enter the hall.

The entryway was a pale cream. The long, wide entryway led directly into a large open room. She knew instinctively it was the kitchen great room, but she paused on her way down the hall at the opening on her right. The wall was pushed back about three feet, creating a nice open feeling. She turned and headed down the hall. On her left, the door was open to a utility room. She peaked in and saw that it had a washer and dryer, something she’d been seriously lacking ever since she’d moved from her dad’s. That would be a nice bonus, to not have to go to the cleaners all the time.

To her right, the door opened onto a small, quaint room filled with the afternoon light. It only had one window, apparently one of the two on the right side of the house, but it let in so much light that the mauvy-pink walls seemed to glow. The border at the top of the walls was off-white with a pattern of roses with blue ribbons. That would so have to go…On her left in the room was another doorway. She walked to it and into a small but well proportioned bathroom that led into the next room. This one was the opposite of the previous bedroom in every aspect. The walls were a dark navy blue with a border of sports balls.

“Tom and Sandy have a brood. Two twin boys and two girls,” Jack said to her quietly in explanation.

She nodded, not really listening, but now understanding the décor. 

She headed to the door of the boys’ room and it led her back into the hall where she’d started. There was a nice little niche that would do well for one of her many bookcases to her right. She headed back to the main hallway and straight into what would be a formal dining room. On her left was an archway with curtains in it. It was the front room to the house. This was obviously where Tom and Sandy, mom and dad of the brood, had had their bedroom. The nicest features of this room were the two large windows looking out over the porch and yard and the decent sized working fireplace. The room itself was bland in coloring, compared to what she’d seen in the rest of the house so far, but it would make a nice den/office. She turned a 180 and looked into the best feature of the entire house.

The archway to the great room was framed by a pair of Doric columns. The columns also framed the large sliding glass doors that led out onto a large outdoor living space, deck complete with hot tub. She walked forward through the dining room. In the great room, there was another fireplace on her left. To her right stood a large island bar, complete with wine rack and bar stools. Beyond the island was a small alcove with a small breakfast table. She stepped further into the kitchen and saw the large window over the sink and stove. The refrigerator and microwave were built into the wall on her right. Between the fridge and the counter was another door. When she opened it, she discovered that hidden from street view was a small one stall garage. She had a garage! She wouldn’t have to park on the street if she didn’t want to!

Sam turned around to head back into the house to find Jack and Daniel watching her.

“It’s perfect,” she sighed, “It’s exactly as I dreamed it.”

“If you want it,” Jack smiled tenderly at the look of contentment that was on her face, “It’s yours. Tom has been waiting for you to look at it.”

“How did you know?” she asked with a little confusion.

“When you’ve told me about your dream house all these years, I’ve always seen this one in my mind’s eye. Tom and Sandy need to sell. You need to buy. It’s a great opportunity.”

She smiled at him and his heart nearly stopped. It was at that moment he realized he was an idiot. He’d just given her a place to go that wasn’t his. And he didn’t like that idea one bit.


	15. Chapter 15

“Carter!!!!” Jack yelled loudly over the welder.

“Sir?!” She smiled as she pulled off the welding helmet three days later, “Hi! How's Daniel?” She asked as she ran her fingers through her hair to push it back into some sort of order. Daniel had had to have emergency surgery the night before when he had woken with intense pain in his side. Janet had discovered his appendix about ready to burst. Daniel had only admitted to her that morning that he’d been dealing with the pain for about a week and a half.

“Aw,” he smiled, “he's gonna be fine. What are you doing?”

“Uh, I'm getting ready to do a detailed analysis of the decay rate of naquada within the reactor. It's really quite amazing; I mean unlike plutonium, it actually has ---“

“Ah!” He interrupted, “I'm on vacation!”

“Yes, Sir,” she smiled.

“So are you.”

“I know,” she replied, obviously distracted, “It's not that I'm happy that Daniel's in excruciating pain or anything like that, but I've been looking forward to an opportunity like this for quite some time---“

“You know, maybe it's just me,” he smirked, “but I always thought when one GOT a chance to leave, one actually LEFT…Daniel's recuperating, Teal’c’s off visiting his kid somewhere. Personally, I have a date with a lake in Minnesota where the bass grow that big!” he smiled as he opened his arms wide.

“Really?!” she smirked back.

“Oh, Yes!” Jack responded seriously, “What I'm describing here, Carter involves a very special element.”

She looked back at the project waiting for her and said, “This IS fun to me, Sir.”

He sighed. She’d never do any more than let him beat around the bush. But he was just that stubborn enough to make it a little more difficult for her.

“Well, if playing with your little reactor sounds better than exploring the lakes and natural beauty of Northern Minnesota, there's not much I can do,” he said petulantly.

“Was that an invitation, Sir?” she asked, a slight blush creeping up her neck.

“Nothing wrong with that is there?” he asked quickly. He didn’t want her to think it was a big deal, but it was. But he saw the blush creeping up. He’d embarrassed her. But he really wanted her to go.

She shook her head no, but the blush only grew stronger.

“Couple of Co-workers…friends if you will…fishing…. It’d be fun,” he said slowly to get her to adjust to the possibility. Even though she’d lived in his house for a little over a month until hers had been ready, she was still skittish around him when they were alone. The one day of kisses seemed to still weigh heavily on her mind. If only he could get her to get over it.

“Wow!” she replied, the blush coming fully to her face, “I appreciate the offer, Sir, really! Sounds great! But I should…” she trailed off as she turned back to the reactor, obviously wanting him to push the issue, but he wasn’t going to.

“No sweat!” he said quickly, trying to find a graceful way out of the conversation without further embarrassment, “See you in a week. And by all means…have fun!”

He beat a hasty retreat down the hall, determined to get as far away from Carter as possible before he just swept her into his arms and carried her off like a caveman. Before he’d gotten a third of the way down the hall, she called out to him.

“Colonel!” she called. Dammnit, she was going to go with him if he gave her so much as an extra nudge. As he turned around, she saw the airman coming down the corridor. It wouldn’t do to accept an invitation to go away with him out in the open. That’s the way rumors got started. She hesitated, because now she didn’t really know what to say, “Uh…Have a good time!

“Land of sky-blue waters, loofas, ya sure ya betcha’, snookums, mosquitoes ---“

When the light took him away, at first she was sad that his attempt to convince her had been interrupted, and then she realized something weird had just happened. She punched the alarm button on the wall and ran down the corridor to General Hammond’s office.

Meanwhile on Thor’s ship, Jack was introduced to a pesky alien creature called a Replicator.  They looked like a gigantic spider sort of thing and they had a nasty sound that made his skin crawl as he moved swiftly down the corridor of Thor’s ship to find his little buddy.  Oh, they were SO going to have a talk about timing after he found out what Thor needed.


	16. Chapter 16

Teal’c was coming up the stairs as she sat down with the general at the conference table.

“Teal’c, thank you for returning,” the general said.

“For what matter of urgency have I been summoned, General Hammond?” Teal’c asked, look first at the general and then at Sam.

“I think I witnessed Colonel O'Neill being transported out the base by the Asguard,” Sam responded.

“For what purpose?” Teal’c asked

“We're not sure yet,” General Hammond responded

A light appeared behind Sam.

“Hello? Hello?” A hologram of the Colonel flickered into view as she turned around, “Testing, Testing! Is this thing on?!”

“Colonel?”

“Carter?!” he said as the hologram turned around.

“Sir? What going on?!” she asked, just happy to see that, for now at least, he was fine.

“Well, I need a Spaz-12, a BF-8, 10 pounds of PBX, and a USAS at the base of the star gate in oh, five minutes,” he said with a smirk.

“That's a lot of explosives, Sir,” she responded. A lot of explosives didn’t bode well.

“May I ask why?” the general asked the hologram.

“Well, basically, Thor's ship has been taken over by a bunch of nasty techno-bugs,” he said. The hologram shivered.

“Were the Asguard not able to defeat them?” Teal’c asked.

“Guess not,” came the reply.

“So, Sir, are you saying that these bugs are technologically advanced?” Sam asked.

“Yeah,” he sighed audibly, “Apparently, they plan to land the ship and infest earth. Thor says this --- would not be a good thing.”

“What are you going to do?” Hammond asked.

“Destroy the ship,” Jack replied.

“Where's Thor?” she asked. If Thor wasn’t around, it could be even worse.

“Oh, he's here! He's,” Jack hesitated,” just not feeling too well at the moment.”

“We'll be ready in 10 minutes, Sir,” Sam said, “Thor can transport us up there to help you.”

“Thank you, Carter,” Jack replied, “but that's not gonna happen. Thor's out cold. Bugs got him pretty good, but he did leave some instructions on how to run the toys up here.”

“So, can you transport us up?” Sam asked. If he’d learned how to use the holo-projector, maybe he could transport them up as well.

“I can,” he replied, “But…I'm…not going to.”

“What is your reasoning, O'Neill?” Teal’c asked, obviously as perplexed by the Colonel’s statement as she was.

“Anybody who comes up,” Jack replied, “is NOT getting down.”

Not getting down? But that meant – no, she wasn’t going to think about it.

“Well, Sir, if you can't get off the ship--,” she started.

Jack interrupted, “Yeah. I know…Look, my time's almost up here. Have the stuff ready in 10 minutes… wish me luck!”

“Colonel--,” Sam started again. He couldn’t do this! They were a team! They needed to figure this out together!

“Major!” He interrupted again, “it's an order…and it's final.”

She just watched the hologram. It was SO not going to be the last time she saw him, regardless of his orders.

“Good luck, Jack,” General Hammond said seriously.

“Thank you, Sir,” Jack said, his eyes drifting towards Sam. She wanted to say so much more, but he looked away and the hologram faded out.

“Teal’c,” Hammond said, “See that the ordinance is in place. Major, to your knowledge, if Colonel O'Neill is unsuccessful, could that ship be destroyed by a surface to air strike?”

“Sir, the ship has sophisticated cloaking devices,” she said seriously, “We've been looking for it in orbit since Colonel O'Neill disappeared…Nothing.”

“Well, if we can't see it, we can't target it.”

“No sir, we can’t,” she replied sadly, “But we might be able to do something from the inside.”

“Major, you heard the Colonel,” Hammond said, “Anyone who goes up isn’t coming back in one piece.”

“I know, General,” she said desperately, “But we really should go up there with him, sir. I’m not sure exactly how we can help, but I can’t see the Colonel doing this without our help. I’m sure I can think of something by the--”

“Major, I was already going to rescind Colonel O’Neill’s order,” Hammond interrupted, “You have a go, Major.”

Her smile lit up the room.

“Thank you, sir,” she said as she saluted. She turned on her heel and took off to find Teal’c.


	17. Chapter 17

Jack ran through the halls, listening to the bugs crawling in the walls. He headed toward the room that he’d beamed the munitions into. He wasn’t sure how he was going to get everything to safety before the bugs got to it, but he’d get as much as he could this trip and come back later. He entered the room and saw Carter and Teal’c with the equipment.

“Dammit! I gave you people a direct order!!!!” He bellowed. Damn it! He tried to keep her out of this. He tried to keep them all out of it. At least Daniel’s appendicitis had kept him out of this one. Why couldn’t they, just for once, listen to him?!?

“General Hammond over ruled you, sir,” she said as she handed him a P-90. “We may have a way off the ship.”

“God!” he growled. He heard the bugs approaching, “Grab what ya can. Let's go!”

They grabbed a couple of the crates and took off out the room, followed by bugs. Jack slapped the door panel on the way through the archway. As the door closed, a couple of bugs got through. Teal’c tried zat'ing them, but they didn’t stop. After shooting at a bug a couple of times, and it not stopping, Teal’c grabbed a gun, and cocking, shot it. Within seconds, the small pieces that were scattered reformed into the shape of a bug.

“Let's move!” Jack yelled over the noise of the guns. They hauled ass to Thor's chambers. Apparently the bugs didn’t really want to chase them. As he threw his load down, Jack slid over to Thor, “Hey buddy. How ya feelin'? You uh, remember Carter? Teal’c?”

“Why did you bring them?” Thor asked weakly.

“Anyone?” Jack asked, looking at both Teal’c and Sam. See? He was not the only one who had wanted to keep them safe. But no one ever listened to him.

“We believe we could be of assistance,” Teal’c said seriously.

Thor just shook his head slightly and said, “Now, you will ALL die.”


	18. Chapter 18

  
Jack watched their six as Teal’c finished set up on the hijacked Stargate for the dial out. He could hear the bugs coming. They were in the walls. It was only a matter of time. Carter was finishing calculations in the chamber where Thor’s pod and the extra gear were.

The damn bugs had gotten progressively more aggressive over the course of the last few hours. And once they’d started descent into the atmosphere, no wall or door had been ignored. From Carter’s calculations, it looked like the structure of the Beliskner was all but toast. If this wacky idea of Carter’s didn’t work, they would be fish food or bug food either way.

He saw Teal’c starting the manual dial.

“Where are we going?” he asked over his shoulder.

“P3X-234,” Teal’c responded.

“I hear it's nice there this time of year,” he muttered, not really sure where it was, but any place was better than their present situation. Before he could make any other comments, a bug finished creating a hole in the wall above him, “We got bugs,” he said, starting to shoot before the thing got all the way in the room. Another filled its place almost immediately.

“O'Neill!” Teal’c yelled over his shoulder. Jack turned to see bugs crawling on the wall behind the ‘gate. They were quickly becoming surrounded.

“GET DOWN!!!!!” Teal’c shouted as he finished inputting the last chevron. Jack dove without thinking, barely ducking in time before the matter stream flew over his head.

“Let’s go Carter!” he yelled into the com.

She appeared in a matter of seconds in a beam of light with Thor’s pod right next to her. She shoved a pair of safety glasses on her face and checked the timer in her hand.

“Can we blow this thing yet?!” Jack asked over his shoulder, his eyes still on the oncoming bugs.

“Not yet!” she said as she shoved the pod into the event horizon and began shooting.

“CARTER?!?!?!?!?!” he shouted. The bugs were getting closer and he was running out of ammo.

“NOT YET!!!!!” she yelled back, checking the timer.

A few seconds later, he knew they had to go. If not, they were dead anyway. The bugs weren’t but two feet from him and more kept pouring through the now numerous holes in the walls.

“CARTER?!?!?!?!?!” he bellowed again, the panic welling up in his throat.

Whether it was his bellow, the panic in his voice or her own panic, he didn’t know, but when she yelled, “NOW!” Jack pushed the button on the detonator half a second before he dove into the wormhole behind Carter and Teal’c.

His roll down the steps on the other side wasn’t as comfortable as he had hoped. He’d hoped for silence. He’d hoped for a grassy knoll to roll down. But no, he landed solidly on a stone step and rolled down three before stopping. And there was definitely no silence. In fact, Teal’c and Carter both were still shooting. He turned and saw that there were about fifteen bugs crawling on and through the ‘gate. Knowing he was low on ammo, he shot conservatively, picking off only three of the damn bugs before he was out.

“Ammo!” he yelled. Carter flipped a clip in his direction.

“Last one, Sir!” she yelled over her gun.

“Shit!” he muttered as he slammed the clip home.

He continued to meticulously pick off bugs as did Carter and Teal’c, two shots per bug only if they could help it. He’d shot about three more bugs when the wormhole disengaged. Teal’c shot the last bug with two quick shots.

“Beliskner must have exploded,” Carter assessed.

“I don’t think so, MajorCarter,” Teal’c said, “I think the thirty-eight minute window has passed.”

“Either way,” Jack said, effectively ending the non-argument, “No more of those damn things will be coming through the gate. Let’s set up recon, Carter. Make sure we got all those things.”

“Yes, sir,” she said with a smirk, “But even if there’s one or two left, it really won’t matter.”

“Why not?” Jack asked, turning to face her fully, “Those things replicate Carter! They can make more!”

“I don’t think so, sir,” she said with a smile, “Thor’s system reported that the bugs search out new technology and replicate to become more advanced. They “eat metal” for lack of a better term, sir. Take a look around. We’re on Paradise…No phone, no cars, not a single luxury…”

He looked around briefly and saw the familiar surroundings. Turning to Teal’c he grinned, “Ya done good, T…ya done good.”

“Thank you, O’Neill,” Teal’c said seriously, but with a slight smile.

“Either way, campers,” he said, a smile still on his face, “Let’s make sure the damned things are gone and then set up camp.”

He looked around briefly before he turned to Carter and asked, “Where’s Thor?”

“Asguard took him just as I came through the ‘gate, sir.”

“What?!” he yelled, “Sonofabitch! We save his ass and they leave us stranded?”

“I think there must have been a homing beacon in the pod, sir. They may not have known we were here. Like I said, he was being beamed out as I came through.”

“For cryin’ out loud!” he growled. He took a deep breath and blew it out hard. There was nothing to be done about it, but damn it! Now they’d be stuck for at least a couple of days. Carter had figured that once someone figured out who took the Stargate it would take about 48 hours to get the gate uncrated, up and running, barring technical difficulties. They’d decided to wait three days just in case. But if the Asguard had picked them up, they would have been home in time for supper.

Then he thought about it. Three days with Carter without any distractions. He could definitely work with this.

“Okay, whatever,” he sighed, resigned, “Let’s check for bugs, T. Carter, recon over the ridge. Then set up camp where we were before.”

“Yes, sir,” she smiled slightly and headed in the direction he had indicated.

He and Teal’c headed in the opposite direction. They did an intensive search of the area searching for Replicators. They found nothing but bugs of the normal earth-like variety.

When they’d determined the all clear, he and Teal’c set up a perimeter and headed toward camp.

Sam was glad they had left some of the gear from their short-lived vacation nearly three months before. They had originally planned on coming back relatively quickly, but things had not been in their favor. The small lean-to they’d built between some trees had perfectly preserved everything they’d left behind. In the time it took the Colonel and Teal’c to secure the area surrounding the gate, she’d set up the two tents and had built a taller lean-to shelter to house the cooking gear. She’d found a couple of sapling branches and had just pulled some nylon line from one of her pockets when the Colonel and Teal’c appeared over the ridge.

Jack stopped on the small rise over-looking the make-shift camp. Carter was sitting on an overturned bucket, her head bent over some project she’d found for herself. He was stunned that she looked so beautiful even battle-worn and weary. He squinted to see what she was working on, but her slim fingers seemed to be holding nothing from the distance.

“Carter!” he yelled light-heartedly, “I thought this planet had no do-hickeys. What are you doing?”

When she looked up at him and grinned, he was bowled over. The pure delight on her face was more than he could ever hope for, but then he saw the mischief in her eyes and became suspicious.

“No do-hickeys, sir,” she grinned, “Just a means to catch dinner…You’ve been bugging me to go fishing…here’s your chance,” she held up the two poles she’d fashioned.

“Nice,” Jack hissed through a smile. He knew he’d always liked this girl.

She handed him a pole and flipped hers over her shoulder as she stood. Picking up the bucket and heading away from him, she turned to look at him and said, “Last one to catch cooks, sir?”

“You’re on!” he smiled as he dropped his pack and followed her out of the clearing.

When he looked back, it was to see Teal’c prepping a fire pit area. Good, he thought, the fire will be nice and hot for Carter to cook on when we get back. And double good was the fact that Teal’c seemed to have no interest in following them to go fishing.

As she arrived on the beach, Sam stooped to kick off her boots and roll her BDU’s to her knees before seating herself on the ground. She pulled a little box out of one of her vest pockets and surreptitiously opened it. It was a lure her brother Mark had made for her when they were kids. It had never failed to work, no matter what planet she’d used it on. She always carried it with her and it had saved her from starvation more than once. As she cast her line, she grinned. The Colonel was still looking for bait. She had a good head start and was going to take full advantage.

Jack had just caught up a cricket-like thing to stab on his hook when a fish flopped onto his foot, still connected to Carter’s line. Before he could grab it up, she’d deftly snapped the line and had it in her hands where she was unhooking it. She flipped the small sunfish into the bucket before she sent her line out again. He’d lost. In less than five minutes, she’d bested him. And damn it, that meant he had to cook! He grinned as he stuck his little cricket on the hook. The next couple of days were going to be fun!


	19. Chapter 19

The quiet was distracting. Something wasn’t right. When he fully woke, Jack realized what it was. The tent was empty except for him. Teal’c was on watch and Carter wasn’t the mere inches away that she usually was. That bothered him more than he had ever realized. He realized how much he had come to count on her being there. How much her presence when he woke up off-world was a comfort to him. Then he realized how dark it actually was. That bothered him even more. Carter was one of those once-asleep-awake-never-more kind of people, especially off-world. Of course, with all that had happened, he wouldn’t be surprised if she was awake. But wouldn’t she have stayed in the tent? Maybe she’d just gone out to the latrine. But for some reason, he knew that wasn’t it.

He rolled off his pallet and groaned at the aches hiding just below the surface. He’d never admit to his team, or to his superiors for that matter, but he really hated sleeping on the ground. He always had. But getting older only made it worse. He stood up and pulled on his boots, not bothering to tie them before he headed out to find Carter.  
He didn’t even know where to look, but he was determined he was going to find her. It wasn’t like she was in any danger. They had combed the planet for the last day and a half, searching for anything that could be construed as a hazard or potential issue. The whole damn planet, while absolutely beautiful, was completely devoid of anything dangerous. Then why was he so concerned? Why had he awoken when she was gone?

He wandered, hoping that his feet would lead him to her. He was actually rather surprised when he did come upon her standing at the edge of a large dark lake. His instincts had found her, because he knew he had never really given thought to where to look for her.

When he heard the sob, he stopped dead. Sam crying? She hadn’t really done that for a while now.

“Sam?” he said softly.

He heard her gasp and watched as she quickly wiped the tears away.

“Sir,” she said through a final sniffle, “I’m sorry, did I wake you up?”

“Yes, Major,” he replied with a hint of sarcasm in his voice, “When I woke up and you weren’t where you’re supposed to be, I got a little concerned.”

She turned to face him. The tears still clung to her eyelashes and pooled in her eyes. _God! Why do you do this to me?_ Jack asked the sky. _She is so beautiful!_

“I’m sorry, Colonel,” she sighed, “I woke up from another nightmare and couldn’t sleep.”

“Carter,” he said, “I thought you were past those.”

“So did I, sir,” she smiled tremulously, “Guess not.”

“No,” he smirked, “I guess not. Care to talk about it?”

She looked up at him and shrugged.

“Not much to tell,” she said, “Same old, same old. Memories of that day, imagined fears of this past week.”

“Imagined fears?” he asked, picking up on the subject he hoped would be the easier of the two for her to talk about. Something was better than nothing.

“Yeah,” she smiled slightly, looking back down at her toes, “Nothing I can’t handle there.”

“Carter?” he said in that don’t-give-me-bullshit tone.

“Really, sir,” she said, looking back up at him.

He saw the frustration in her eyes. She wanted to say, but was afraid.

“Sam,” he said softly, taking a step toward her, “It’s okay, whatever it is, you can tell me.”

She shook her head and turned away to look at the lake again.

“No, sir,” she said, a tremor back in her voice, “I really can’t.”

“Yes, Sam, you can,” he said, stepping up to her, putting his hands on her shoulders, “There are no judgments here. You can tell me, friend to friend, nothing goes beyond us."

“Jack,” she sighed, leaning back against him.

His heart stopped. How often did she use his name? Not nearly enough for him. But whatever it was that was bugging her, she recognized that ranks in this moment would only cause issues. He wrapped his arms further around her and pulled her closer.

“It’s alright, Sam,” he sighed into her ear, “Whatever it is, we’ll work it out together.”

“Just hold me like this for a while, Jack,” she sighed, “I just need the comfort of your arms right now.”

He held her as she asked. No demands, no questions. They stood like that for a long time. He felt the tension slowly ebb away from her as she leaned deeper into his embrace.

When she was ready, she pulled away slightly and he released her.  She turned and looked at him with a soft smile.

“Thank you, sir,” she said quietly, “I needed that. I think I’m going to go back to bed now.”

“You’re welcome, Major,” he said in soft reply, “Anytime.”

As she headed away from him, he found himself now being the one looking out over the dark lake. He wanted this woman so badly, but she was not ready for him, not ready for any type of relationship beyond the comfort he had already given her and would continue to give her.

“Sir?” she asked from directly behind him.

He jumped just the slightest bit before turning around to face her.

Before he could say anything, she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. His arms automatically wrapped around her, even in his stunned state.

“Really,” she said, her voice muffled in his t-shirt, “thank you for just being here.”

“You’re really welcome, Carter,” he said with a slight growl, “it’s what I’m here for."

She lifted her head and looked up at him with a smile.

“Thank you, sir,” she said, “again. I really don’t know what I would have done without you these last few months.”

She leaned up on to her tiptoes and kissed him on the lips briefly. Before he could react, she released him and headed back to the tent. 

He decided he’d give her a few minutes to get settled and to settle himself before he crawled back into the tent next to her. She was safe and he was glad for that. But he still wanted to know what it was that had upset her so badly. 

After a good ten minutes, he started back towards camp. When he ducked into the tent, he saw that she was well and truly buried in her sleeping bag and sound asleep. He crawled into his own bag facing her. Sleep, however, was a long time coming for him as he watched her sleeping form and wished for things that could never be.


	20. Chapter 20

The three of them sat around the campfire, contentedly full on the latest catch of fish from Sam's magic lure. They had spent two more days searching the planet, sometimes together, sometimes separately. When it had come time for dinner that evening, Teal'c had headed off to Kel'no'reem while Sam and Jack quickly caught enough fish to feed an Army and the whole Marine Corps too.

Jack had taken the opportunity to scout a couple of nice waterfalls that he'd been made privy to before they had originally come to Paradise. He'd found one today that was perfect for showering, which he had quickly taken advantage of before letting the others know of his discovery.

The other he had found was far too tall and the pool far too deep for anything but a very cold swim, but it had been breath taking when he had walked into the clearing. Jack wanted Sam to see it, but he was too excited to wait until the next morning.

“I’m not real tired,” Jack said, stretching into the sky to release some of the tension in his back, “Wanna go for a walk?”

“Sure,” she said with a grin, “I’m not as tired as I thought I’d be after hiking around all day,” she admitted.

“Good,” Jack said as he stood, reaching out to help her up, “Ready?”

Grabbing his hand, she said, “Sure. Where to?”

“The shore?”

“Duh!” she laughed, “Which one? This is like, the land of a million lakeshores!”

“Well,” he whispered conspiratorially, “There is that waterfall about a half a click in that direction that I found this afternoon.”

Her eyes followed where he was pointing.

“Okay,” she smiled as she headed that way, tugging him along.

When they reached the waterfall, they both just stopped. With the rising of the second moon, they could see everything almost as if it were the middle of the afternoon. The moonlight reflected in the white water at the base of the falls. Jack watched the water tumbling; all silver, white and black into the small pool before it wandered off lazily down the river back toward camp. Overhead and around them stood trees of all shapes and sizes, some he recognized and some he didn’t. The trees surrounded them enough to make the grotto secluded, but opened enough in the middle to let the moons shine down on this little piece of alien heaven. He heard the leaves rustle in the light breeze and smelled the flowers. He recognized the scents of wild roses, jasmine and lavender.

Neither of them wanted to move. Neither of them wanted to speak. Jack turned to look at Sam and realized they had made the entire trip with their hands clasped together.

“Sam,” he said softly, trying desperately not to break the beauty of the moment.

She turned toward him, a look of desire on her face that he’d never seen before. She didn’t speak, just leaned into his body.

He almost stopped breathing as he wrapped his arms around her. This was so completely different from anything he’d experienced with Sam in the last five months. Now, she was turning to him, but not for comfort, not for a shoulder to cry on. Now she was turning to him because . . . because she wanted him. He knew from all the signals she’d been giving him all day long. She wanted him, not as her ‘Colonel”, not as her CO, but as him, Jack O’Neill, the man.

His body knew it. And his heart beat just a little faster for it. Everything was perfect in this spot, in this moment. His brain kept intruding, though, giving him the nagging feeling that he was forgetting something. Something important. Something concerning both of them . . .

“Sam?” he whispered.

“Just hold me, Jack, please. Don’t ask questions. Just hold me.”

And he did. And it felt so right. She’d called him Jack. She so rarely did that. It stunned and thrilled him at the same time. Whatever else happened, his day was perfect because she’d called him by his name.

They stood there for a long time. They listened to the waterfall, listened to the world around them. It was peaceful. Something they didn’t seem to have a lot of in their lives.

“We can’t ever forget this place,” Sam said quietly, her voice muffled by his chest.

He felt his heart speed up again as he felt her lips move against his body. Could she hear it? Feel it?

“I know I never will,” Jack returned, “Whatever else goes on the rest of my life, I’ll always remember this place and this moment.”

Sam looked up at him then and he took the opportunity.

His lips took hers gently, as if unsure of her reaction. At first, she stood stock still, letting his lips explore hers. Then suddenly, as if the fire was stoked, she leaned into him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss.He wrapped his arms more tightly around her. His tongue probed her mouth gently and she willingly opened to his exploration. The thrill of her acceptance nearly drove him insane. He tasted all of her in that one kiss; her acceptance, her fear, her trust, her concern, her need, her worry, her love.

He felt it. He suddenly knew that what he felt, total and absolute love for this woman, was reflected back on him. She loved him. She had never admitted it, but hell, neither had he. But he was telling her the best way he knew how and she was doing the same.

“Sam,” he said once again, this time through her kiss, “Sam, we have to talk.”

“No,” she said, trying to deepen the kiss again.

“Yes,” he insisted forcefully, as he grabbed her arms to push her away.

“No, Jack,” she whimpered, “Please? Let’s not ruin this by talking. Tomorrow. Tomorrow we’ll talk. Let’s just let tonight be tonight.”

Suddenly that nagging forgotten ‘something’ popped into his head. Regulations. He had to stop this. Stop kissing her. Stop holding her. Stop before his emotions completely took control and ruined both their lives.

“No, Sam,” he said desperately, “Now.”

This time she heard him. She heard the underlying order in his voice. She hid her disappointment by turning away to watch the waterfall again.

“Sam,” he said gently, “I . . . I need to know . . .”

“Know what, Jack?” she asked, a tinge of sadness touching her voice.

“Oh God, Sam, I . . . I . . .”

“Jack O’Neill,” she said, anger starting to heat her voice, “You say you’re sorry and I swear to God, I will deck you!”

“Striking a senior officer, Sam?” he joked.

She turned around with something akin to fear in her eyes. Strike a senior officer? Oh God! She wasn’t that daft!

“Uh…no…no, sir,” she replied weakly.

“Ah hell!” He growled angrily, “Why do you do that?”

“Do what?” she asked, truly confused.

“Always call me ‘Sir’?” he said, “Hell, we just kissed each other and you’re still calling me sir!”

Now she grinned, the giggle starting to well up from inside. It did seem rather silly for her to call him ‘Sir’ after such a kiss. And they had kissed each other. Not her kissing him or him kissing her, but each other. Together. The thought was tickling her, making her completely giddy.

“Dammit, Sam,” he growled, “My name is Jack. Hell, if you want to call me Jonathon or even . . .” he gulped before continuing, “Johnny . . . I don’t care! But please, when we’re alone, I really would like it if you called me anything but ‘sir’!”

The giggle turned into a full-blown laugh. She couldn’t help it. He was so desperate for her not to use the pet name and it showed.

“Well . . . sir,” she emphasized and almost lost it again when he winced, “It’s . . . very difficult for me to explain . . . But I’ll try,” she sighed as she grabbed his hand and pulled him over to a flat rock nearby. She pulled him down next to her and continued, “You see . . . until I had you as my C.O., I was a desk jockey . . . well, okay, maybe not exactly . . . more like a lab rat, I guess. Most of my superiors were old, fat farts who made an effort to remind me of who I was, a woman and a scientist, by requiring me to salute every time they walked into a room and not allowing me to have my say when I needed to,” she hesitated, suddenly struck by how close his body was to hers, how warm he was, how beautiful his brown eyes were, even in the near darkness. She struggled to finish, “ . . . I know it’s not the military way, but . . . There were so many times they wanted me to do something that I knew I could do better a better way, but they’d never let me. And they never listened to my suggestions, let alone let me make suggestions.”

She took a breath and looked back at the waterfall to gather her thoughts a little. She let its music soothe her frazzled nerves.

“When I met you . . . right from the start . . . you let me know that you were in charge . . . but you also let me know that my ideas . . . my opinions were important,” she finished softly.

“I did?” He smiled now, “I did, didn’t I.”

“Yes,” she smiled, “You did . . . and that . . . more than saving the world. . . more than saving my butt more times than I can count . . . more than showing our entire team that you care for us as individuals . . . more than all of that combined . . . gave me more respect for you than I’ve had for all of my previous Commanding Officers.”

“And for that you can’t call me Jack when we’re alone?” he asked sarcastically.

“No!” she laughed, “No, but ‘Sir’ has become so much more to me over the years. When I . . . when I realized how I felt . . . how I . . . cared for you . . . well . . .” she trailed off and looked at their hands intertwined in her lap, unsure of how to proceed with her confession. When his fingers touched her chin and lifted her eyes to his, suddenly she wasn’t scared to tell him everything, “Well, I started putting all my feelings . . . all my emotions into that one word. I had hoped that one day . . . one day you might recognize those feelings in the way I said it . . . It became my pet name for you . . . a way that I could express my feelings . . .”

His fingertips splayed across her cheek.

“And what exactly are those feelings, Sam?” He asked tenderly.

“I’m in love with you, Jack. I’ve been in love with you for a long time now. And after the way you’ve taken care of me these last few months, I don’t know how to live without you in my life . . . Not just at work, but all the time . . . every morning, every day . . . and every night,” she sighed softly, all the love she had in her eyes.

He pulled her into his arms and hugged her. She loved him. She’d said it. He could feel his heart pounding against her. She loved him. And she had for a long time. Wow! How to respond to that? He couldn’t even formulate the words. His heart was so full.

‘Screw the regulations! She loves me!’ he thought

He did the only thing he knew he could do. 

He kissed her again.

He kissed her with every bit of love he had, every fiber of his being. He ravished her lips, her eyes, and her face with his lips. He couldn’t get enough of touching her, holding her. When her lips met his, she grabbed his face and held him still so that she could explore him. He let her work her magic on him and got carried away on the freeing feeling.  
When she let him up for air, he murmured, “Ah, Sam, you can always call me Sir!”

He quickly quelled her hoot of laughter with another mind-blowing kiss before they headed back to camp.


	21. Chapter 21

They’d been dialing the damn gate since 0900.  Now it was nearly the equivalent of 1700 earth time, day four and there’d been no response.  Jack dialed the gate for the tenth and final time.  When nothing connected, he was done for the night.  His watch was over and he needed to cool off.

“Damn it!” he yelled to the sky, “What the hell’s taking so long?”

There was a part of him that wanted desperately to get the hell off the planet, even if the fishing was good.  If he didn’t, all his promises to himself about waiting for Sam to be ready for him were going to be for naught, especially after this morning’s episode.

He’d gone in search of her to give her a kiss good morning.  He’d found her at the small waterfall he’d talked to her about at dinner the night before.  She’d been in the waterfall without a stitch on.  That would have been bad enough for his libido, but she was also touching herself, stroking her breasts and mound.  She was obviously in the throes of passion by the ecstatic look on her face.  If she hadn’t been turned so that it was obvious she couldn’t see him, he wouldn’t have stayed.  If she hadn’t been turned so that it was obvious she couldn’t have seen him, he would have gone to her when he heard her scream his name as she came.  He’d left as quickly and quietly as he could so as to not embarrass her, but he’d been in a rough way all day.

He’d done nothing but think about her all day.  He’d tried avoiding her, but she was constantly in his thoughts.  While they’d both been off watch, he’d intentionally, studiously avoided her by finding an out of the way fishing spot.  She’d never come across him in her explorations and he was glad for it.

But all that didn’t matter.  His hormones were raging out of control and every time he thought of her in that waterfall his pants became unbearably tight.  He’d been in the cool waters of the planet’s waterfalls three times that day and seriously needed to make it a fourth before he spent any time with her after dinner.

He saw Teal’c coming his way and was glad.  He could get out of the area before Sam came to relieve him, thus saving him the embarrassment of a raging hard on sticking out from his BDU’s.   Even his long t-shirt wasn’t gonna cover this one until he took that icy shower.

“Hey, T!” he called, “I need to take off before Carter gets here.  Can you take watch until she does?”

“Certainly, O’Neill,” Teal’c said, a slight smirk on his face.

Jack looked at him.  He wondered what the smirk was for.  He figured he knew, and even though he tried not to, he blushed.

“Thanks, T,” he said and took off towards the waterfall he’d taken Sam to the night before.

 

MajorCarter approached the gate for her watch.

“Teal’c?” she asked, “Where’s Colonel O’Neill?  I thought he had last watch?”

“He did MajorCarter,” Teal’c said quietly, a minute smile on his face, “But he finished the last dialing attempt and headed in that direction.”

She followed the direction of Teal’c’s gaze.

“If you wish to speak to him, MajorCarter,” Teal’c said, a little bit of mischief growing in his mind.  He knew the state of O’Neill’s body.  The erection had been painfully obvious even with O’Neill’s attempt to cover it up with a long t-shirt.  “I will continue dialing.”

Teal’c knew that they’d spent the evening together.  He knew how O’Neill felt about Carter; that was apparent.  He was pretty sure how MajorCarter felt for O’Neill as well.  He felt that they needed to spend time enough together so that they could either admit how they felt or consummate their feelings.  He also knew that this would be their only time to do so until the gate connected to Earth, because at home, they would be forbidden to be together.  He was still at a loss to figure out why the Tau’ri would forbid such a union when on Chul’ak it was encouraged.  On Chul’ak, such a union only made a warrior stronger when he could fight alongside his mate.

MajorCarter looked at him.  She seemed about to ask him a question but then decided not to.

“Thanks Teal’c,” she smiled, “I’ll take next watch for you.”

“No need, MajorCarter,” he said, “But thank you.  I do not require as much rest as you or O’Neill.  I will be fine until he relieves me in the morning.

She grinned at him then.

“Thanks Teal’c” she said, “Again.”

 

She knew where he was headed – the waterfall.  She caught up with him about two minutes away from the clearing.

“Sir!” she called out.

 

Jack stopped.  He sighed heavily, strangling the groan of frustration before he turned around.  No cold shower.  Damn, but he really needed it, especially once he turned around and saw she was wearing a black tank and a pair of cut-off shorts.  Her legs seemed to go on forever and the bare skin of her arms and legs were only making it more difficult to not remember her naked body under the water.  He turned away quickly as he felt himself grow even harder than he already had been.

“Ah…Hey, Carter,” he said stiffly, continuing walking, hoping she might not follow, but knowing she would.

“Sir,” she said as she caught up to him, “Are you okay?  Teal’c said you had to hightail it away from the gate.”

“I’m fine, Carter,” he said through clenched teeth, “I just really need to take a shower…Get the stink off, ya know?”

“Oh,” she said, obviously hurt by his cold tone, “I’m sorry to have bothered you, sir…I’ll let you get to it then…”

She turned and started walking in the opposite direction.

“Aw…for cryin’ out loud!” he growled under his breath.  What an idiot he was.  He hadn’t meant to hurt her, “Sam!” he said, turning back to her, “Sam, wait!”

She stopped a couple yards down the path.  Her shoulders were slumped and he wanted to smack himself in the forehead for hurting her.

“Sam,” he said again, “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to sound like that.  I-it’s just that I needed some time alone…But I can get that later…”

She turned and smiled slightly, her eyes still moist from the tears she’d held back.

“Ahh…damn,” he said as he stepped towards her, “Come here.”

She did automatically, stepping into his offered embrace and wrapping her arms around his waist.  He hugged her as tightly as he dared, but not so tightly that she could feel how hard he was.  When she finally, fully relaxed, he pulled away slightly.

“I really am sorry, Sam,” he said, “I’m a real ass when I’m grumpy.”

She giggled at that.

“Do you forgive me?”

She looked up at him and smiled.

“Of course, Jack,” she said softly.

He saw the request for a kiss as clearly as if she’d asked for it.  He pulled away quickly before his hormones took over and he took her down on the soft path and broke his promise.  To ease the abrupt parting, he kept hold of her hand.

“Come on.  I want to show you something,” he said with a conspiratorial grin.

“What?” she asked.

“You’ll see…” he said as he pulled her toward the clearing.


	22. Chapter 22

The waterfall clearing was even more beautiful than it had been in the dark.  The heady scent of roses, jasmine and larkspur that had assailed their senses in the darkness was still there, but now, those glorious smells were compounded by a riot of color and movement.  The dark blacks and dusky grays had been transformed into a multitude of reds, yellows, pinks and oranges in the roses; purples, dusky blues and violets in the larkspur and deep, deep greens of jasmine leaves and bright white of its flowers.

“Oh, sir!” sighed Sam, “It’s breathtaking!”

The waterfall had been a mass of silvery white foam in the moonlight.  Now, it was a rush of bubbles, spray and light throwing rainbows across the clearing.  The pool was a stunning tropical blue-green that deepened into near blackness the closer it got to the waterfall.  The wall of rock that created the natural waterfall was brilliant in the sunshine with its myriad of earthy browns, blacks and greens highlighted with shots of gold and crystal.

“We have to thank the Asguard for stranding us here,” Sam sighed, “I wouldn’t have missed it for any world.”

Jack smiled.

“And I wouldn’t have missed seeing you see it for the first time,” he said softly, “It’s almost as sweet as the moment I told you I loved you.”

Sam turned and gave him a smile that nearly stopped his heart.  All the joy and excitement of the beautiful spot and all her love shone in her eyes.

“Technically, sir,” she smirked, “You’ve never actually told me you loved me.”

He pulled her into his arms slowly, his eyes boring into her.

“Then let me tell you, Samantha,” he said huskily, “I love you.  I have loved you for a lot longer than I should have.

“I loved you before I was stranded on Edora.  When I found myself stuck, I tried to write Sarah.  But all I could think of was you and how I hated leaving the fact that I had lied to you between us.  After three months, I started to believe that maybe my life had changed and my old life was gone.  I had to put the team in a corner of my heart…I had to put you away.

“When I heard Teal’c’s voice on that radio, all that went away.  I was going home.  I knew you were the one who had done it…God knows, I didn’t understand how then and I still don’t, but you got me home.  I was going to see you again.  I wanted so desperately to run to you and kiss you when you came through with the refugees.

“God, Sam!  How much time I’ve wasted!  If I’d said something…shown something…maybe this whole thing with Jake would have never happened.  You wouldn’t have gotten hurt…”

“You’re not to blame, Jack,” Sam smiled, brushing a strand of his hair from his face lovingly, “The whole thing with Jake was stupidity on my part and my missing you so badly.  But why do you think I worked so hard to get you home?  I couldn’t accept the fact that Hammond wanted to declare you MIA.  Not once did I think you were dead, though everyone else had doubts.  I wanted absolute proof that we weren’t going to get you back.  It nearly drove Janet insane trying to get me to stop some nights.  Even when I should have given up, I couldn’t.  I couldn’t believe you lost to me.  I loved you too much to let you be gone.  If you had been, I think I would have died.”

“You almost did die, Sam,” he said seriously, “And I can never forgive my part in that, though I know you can.  We’ve wasted so much time.  We could have been together months ago.”

“No, sir,” she said soberly, “We couldn’t have.  And technically, we shouldn’t be now.”

He pulled her closer and kissed her lightly before pulling away.

“Let’s not worry about technicalities,” he smiled slightly, “I’m not very technical minded anyways.”

She laughed as he winked at her.

“Let me just hold you in my arms for now.  We’ll worry about technicalities when we get home,” he said seriously.

She leaned into his embrace and he felt more than heard her response.

“I hope it takes a few more days for them to get the gate up and running then.”

He chuckled as he pulled her tighter.

“From your mouth to God’s ear,” he whispered in her hair.

She looked up to smile at him but stopped at the intensity in his eyes.  She lifted up on her toes as his mouth came down to hers.  She felt the kiss all the way to her pointed toes as his tongue licked lightly along her lips, begging them to open to him.  She slid her arms around his neck and pulled him closer as she opened her mouth, inviting him in.   A part of her mind nudged her about the fact that she was once again fully French kissing her C.O., but the rest of her kicked the wimpy thought to the back of her brain.  His hand traced her curves and the warmth of them was making her melt deeper into him.  She squirmed to get closer to him and discovered that he was as aroused as she was, if the bulge in his pants was any indication.  She whimpered in frustration as his mouth and body teased her.

His hand found the hem of her tank and slid under it.  Her skin was soft as down.  His hands slid up further.  He slid one to her back while the other caressed her side on its slow progress to her breast.  When he felt the tautness of her nipple through her sports bra, he wasn’t sure which one of them groaned.  Before he could think, he stepped away from her long enough to strip his t-shirt over his head.  Then he stepped to her and pulled her tank and bra from her body.  He crushed her to him, her nipples poking through the hair on his chest.

The contact of flesh to flesh seemed to drive her insane.  She started kissing him intensely.  Her lips left his to explore his face, his jaw line, his collarbone.  When her lips surrounded his nipple, he groaned again.  The sensations her mouth created ran from his wet nipple to his groin.  When her hand slid down his body, he nearly whimpered.  The feeling of her mouth on his left nipple, right over his heart and the back of her hand brushing his stomach as her finger delved into the waistband of his khakis made him weak in the knees.

It was when her hand unbuttoned and unzipped his khakis and shoved them past his hips that his knees did give out.  He suddenly found himself sitting on a sun-warmed boulder with his pants around his ankles.  When her mouth moved to his other nipple and her hand dove beneath his BVD’s, he almost shouted for joy.

Her mouth made its way slowly, sensually, down his chest and over his stomach.  Her hands had pulled his member from the constraints of his boxers and were already working magic on it.  When her lips touched the head of his penis, he thought he was going to completely lose what little control he still had over his body.

As her lips parted and slid over the stiff shaft, his mind went totally blank except for the thought that Sam was an amazing woman who knew how to please a man.  He wanted so badly to show her that he was enjoying the touch of her mouth and hands.  He reached down and brushed his hand through her short blonde curls.  Instantly, he knew he’d done the wrong thing.

 

One moment, she’d been enjoying giving Jack pleasure with her mouth.  The next moment, the hand on her head brought back Jake’s assault on her body.  He had forced her to give him a blow job until he was hard by holding her head to his groin.  The single, loving touch of Jack’s hand suddenly turned her off and she freaked at the memories that came flooding back.

 

Without warning, she jumped back and scooted herself as far away as possible.  The remembered terror showed on her face.

“Oh shit!” Jack cursed under his breath, “Sam, I’m so sorry!”

He quickly stuffed his still very hard penis back into his boxers and pulled up his pants before he crawled over to her.  The terror on her face was subsiding, but now the tears were starting to fall.  He tried to take her in his arms to comfort her and she let him.  Of that, he was glad.

“Shh, baby,” he sighed as he held her on the soft sand, “Shh…it’s okay now.”

“N-no,” she stammered, “it-it’s-it’s not!”

She pulled away from him slightly so she could look at him.

“I-I-I’m sorry, Jack,” Sam said dolefully, “I really wanted to do that…been wanting to for a very long time...B-but I can’t.  The bastard’s won…He said I would never forget him.  A-and I can’t.  The memory of everything he did to me is stamped in my brain…I’ll never be able to m-make love to you.”

“Ah, Sam,” he sighed again, “Don’t worry about it!  It’s just too soon…I knew it was…I should have been stronger…but your touch…your mouth…”

He drifted off into silence, his erection still ragingly hard almost to the point of pain.  He didn’t need to go into the recall of how she felt against his skin.  Her tears had stopped and the terror and anger had abated, but he still held her.

They sat that way, Jack’s arms around her, the both of them leaning against a boulder with her head on his shoulder for what seemed like forever.  Eventually, Jack’s erection subsided, but he could still feel the thrill of excitement at her need to pleasure him.  There was hope for them.  After they’d been sitting in the sand and Jack had completely calmed down, he realized how uncomfortable his position was.

“Uh…Sam?” he said, "I don’t know about you, but my butt is numb even on this hot sand and this rock’s stabbing me in the kidneys.  You think we could move?”

Her giggle reassured him.  She was feeling better.  He thought that was good.

“Come on, now,” he said with a smirk, “I think perhaps you should head back to camp.  I really do need to take that cold shower.”

She giggled again as he stood up and reached down to help her up.

“Problems, My Colonel?” she teased with a wink.

He growled, but with a smile.

“I’m only going to say this once, Carter,” he said softly, “I will wait until you are ready…but I hope to God it’s not too long.  I hate taking cold showers…at least alone.”

She laughed loudly as she lifted herself up to his lips and kissed him.

“I love you, Jack,” she said, “Try to enjoy your shower.”

He growled as she walked away, a little bit of a wiggle in her backside that he knew was only for him.


	23. Chapter 23

She dialed the gate once again.  Six chevrons lit and connected, but as had happened for the past five days, the seventh chevron refused to light, thereby connecting them to home.

“Damn,” she muttered under her breath.  She really thought Siler and the science team would have gotten the gate up and running within 24 hours.   Why was it that when she counted on them most, they never seemed to come through for her.  Of course, she wasn’t totally complaining.  She and the Colonel had been able to spend some time together, had even finally declared their feelings for each other.  They’d been able to spend time learning more about each other’s lives than they’d previously been able to “safely” talk about.  But a part of her knew that those declarations, those secrets of their lives, as much as they had needed to be said for so long, were going to be bothersome when they got home…hopefully by the end of the day.  And if things kept going the way they had, they would have more than declarations and kisses to regret.

Her attempt at fallatio on the colonel three days before had been a mistake of the most egregious nature.   She had backed off before it had gone too far, but it had been a mistake.  She knew she wasn’t ready for any kind of physical relationship.  And she definitely wasn’t ready to ruin her career by having sex, oral or otherwise with her commanding officer.  She knew, logically that what she felt for Jack was something that had been building for years.  But she also knew that to react on it, especially knowing that he loved her too now, could destroy all they had worked for all this time.  They both had careers to think of.  They both had a team to think of.  And that stopped her.  Teal’c, she was almost sure, was aware of the situation between the two of them.  How much would he tell General Hammond when they returned?

 

Lost in her thoughts, she hadn’t heard Teal’c approach.  He stood and watched a range of emotional thought cross her face before he finally called attention to himself.

“Are you alright, MajorCarter?” he asked softly.

She started slightly before she turned around.  The look of worry didn’t completely pass from her face before she totally faced him.  He frowned slightly, wondering if perhaps there was something wrong with the Stargate.

“I-I’m fine, Teal’c,” she stuttered, looking away from him, “I-I just was thinking and didn’t hear you come up.”

“Something I can help with, Major?” he asked.  He knew by her hesitation that it had nothing to do with the Stargate.  “You may share anything with me if you wish.”

Her guilty glance back to him confirmed his suspicions.

“MajorCarter,” he said gravely, “I feel I need to say something to you.   I feel I have been less than honest with you in the last few days.”

“Go…on…” she said slowly.  He knew she was wary.  He knew she was afraid of what he might say.  A part of him enjoyed this, what the Tau’ri spoke of as teasing, when she was so worried.  But he knew she wasn’t one to take the teasing as intended, a tension reliever, unless he clarified his thoughts.

“Major,” he said, “I want you to know that I know about you and Colonel O’Neill.”

“You do?” she asked, her voice tight, “What do you think you know, Teal’c?”

“Samantha,” he said, stepping forward and taking her upper arms in his hands, “I know that you are in love with Colonel O’Neill.  And I also know that the two of you have either declared your feelings for each other or have shown each other in some way.”

She couldn’t look at him.  She was still frightened of what he had to say.

“Samantha,” he continued, “It is alright.  I know how the both of you feel.  And regardless of what General Hammond or your military think, I think it is a good thing that you have both finally shared your feelings.”

She looked up at him again.

“But it’s wrong for us to love each other, Teal’c,” she said, the tears beginning to gather in her eyes, “When we get home, we have to act as if nothing has been said on this planet.”

“I understand, MajorCarter,” he said softly, “but understand this: I approve of your relationship with O’Neill.  I am sure DanielJackson will as well.  SG-1 will not suffer for what the two of you have together.  And no one will learn from me what happens on this planet.”

She smiled brightly then.

“Thank you, Teal’c.”

“Now,” he said, returning her smile, “I believe O’Neill is taking one of his endless showers in the waterfall down that path.   Perhaps you should go spend some time with him as it is short here.”

 

She grinned even more fully.  Teal’c was such a softy at heart.  And she truly loved the fact that he understood the situation between herself and Jack.

“You’re a little devil, aren’t you,” she said as she hugged him.

“I only wish for you and O’Neill to be happier than you have been these last few months, MajorCarter.  The two of you being together actually makes sense to me, even though it may not make sense to your military government.”

She stepped away from him and grinned again.

“Well, then I best go find my man and fill him in on the details.”

Sam turned away from Teal’c as he laughed and headed for the waterfall down the path he had indicated.


	24. Chapter 24

She stopped dead at the clearing.  He was naked under the waterfall.  She mentally slapped her forehead.  She had known he was going to be in the waterfall when she arrived. 

‘ _What kind of idiot are you, Samantha Carter?’_ she berated herself.

She watched as the water sluiced over his strong, lithe body like a caress.  She took in the strong, hard angles of his body.  She knew he was quite a few years older than she was, but the hard planes of his chest and abs were those of a man much younger, who was used to hard work.  His hands, surprisingly supple and elegant were sliding over his body, warming up parts of him that had gotten too cold in the chill of the waterfall.  She watched as those graceful hands slid further down his body to his standing member.  She couldn’t help but watch as he wrapped his fingers around himself and stroked himself oh, so gently.

She felt like she should walk away, but she was drawn to the vision of Jack pleasuring himself.  She couldn’t have torn herself from the sight of him even for a new gadget to tinker with.

 

She was watching him.  He’d seen the sun glinting off her beautiful hair behind the small copse of trees that separated him from the path.  He smiled to himself as he took himself in hand.  A part of him wanted to tease her as she had unwittingly teased him the other day.  He stroked himself several times, groaning her name loudly.  The knowledge that she was watching him excited him.  But he also didn’t want her to realize that he knew she was there, so he turned a bit more, actually facing her even more directly.  He slitted his eyes so he could see her through his lashes, but so that he knew it looked like he had his eyes closed in concentration.

She was not moving at all, she was totally fascinated by what she was watching.  He loved the idea of her watching him so much that he didn’t realize, until it was nearly too late that his orgasm was about to strike.  He tried to decide whether he should hold off or not, but his body made the decision for him as he ejaculated all over his hand.  

He groaned her name this time, not because he wanted to tease, but because he knew that she was there and would leave, as he had done days before and he couldn’t stand not touching her for a moment more.  He stepped from the waterfall toward her.  She still sat behind the trees, enthralled.

“Sam,” he said softly, “Come here.”

She started violently, as if she’d been in a trance the whole time.

“Samantha,” he whispered, “It’s alright.  Come here.”

“I can’t, sir,” she said, turning her eyes away from his naked approach.

“You can, Sam,” he growled, “I know you saw.  It’s okay.  Don’t be embarrassed. I’m not.”

She looked back at him, her eyes struggling to meet his.  She stood up, trying to meet him eye to eye.

“Sam,” he said with a smile in his eyes, “Did you like what you saw?”

Her eyes slid away into the woods again.  She wouldn’t look at him.  She started when he touched her chin.  Apparently, she hadn’t realized how close he had been to her.  She looked up at him once again.

“It’s okay, Sam,” he whispered softly, “I knew you were here before I let go.  Don’t be embarrassed by how difficult my feelings for you are making things.”

Jack stepped closer and pulled her into his kiss.  His heart started racing as she accepted him totally.  He used his lips to explore her mouth, her face and her neck.  She was soft to the touch and sweet to the taste.  His hands began to wander over her nearly naked back, over the waistband of her shorts and finally resting at the bottom hem of each leg of her short shorts, his fingertips barely touching the exposed flesh of her beautifully rounded backside.

“Oh god,” she sighed.

He pulled her closer. She rubbed herself against him, as if trying to get closer.  Her fingers slid over his quickly drying skin and he shivered.  Her hands followed her fingers across his ribs to his back and further explored the expanse of flesh.

He kept one hand on her bottom, pulling her tight to his groin as his other hand roamed her back, her neck, her hair; while his lips continued to explore her mouth.  His cock was quickly regaining life, slightly surprising him.

She was pressed tightly against his body, so she could feel how hard he already was again.  All she wanted was to touch him, everywhere.  Having watched him pleasure himself, she knew that she could do what she had attempted to do before.  She touched him all over and he moaned at her touch, completely turned on by every nuance…until her hand brushed against his cock. 

He pulled back from her.

“Sam,” he said hoarsely, “Don’t.”

“But I want to try this, Jack,” she said as she knelt in front of him, “Just let me do this for you.  Don’t touch me…”

He just looked at her as she reached out and touched his once again hard penis.

“You have a beautiful cock,” she whispered as her mouth touched the head, “Mmmmm, and you taste so good.”

It was the last she said as she opened her mouth and took him fully into her mouth.

 

He dropped down to sit on the boulder, the thought of stopping her completely gone.  She was a goddess!  Her mouth was warm and sweet.  He wasn’t going to last long with the way she was going down on him, even though he‘d just come in the waterfall.  His mind went blank, overwhelmed by the feel of her mouth wrapped around him, her fingers stroking him.  When her fingers began lightly scratching his balls, he was surprised to feel the release already building.

“Sam,” he said gently, not wanting to scare her into stopping again, “Sam, if you don’t stop, I’m going to come in your mouth…”

She looked up at him, her mouth still full of him.  He groaned as he felt her tongue lick from the base of his shaft to the head without her even moving her head.  Her hands came up to the shaft as she took her sweet mouth off of him.

“I want you to,” she purred, “I love to swallow…and you can touch me now…I know it’s you.”

She took him back into her mouth and began pistoning on his shaft, creating an amazing erotic friction.  He put his hands on her head, if only to stabilize her actions.  Suddenly, he was coming and thrusting into her mouth.  He couldn’t help himself.  She was so sweet and so warm.  He moaned out loud as he shot his load into her mouth.  Even when he was done coming, she continued to suck his quickly shrinking member, licking every inch of him clean.

 

When she knew he was clean, she moved up to kiss him.  She kissed him full on the mouth, giving a taste of him on her tongue.  She smiled as she kissed him.  When she backed away from him, she had a full grin on her mouth.

“Hmmm,” she hummed, “I guess I can still do that…”

“Oh yes,” Jack sighed, “You certainly can.”

She laughed out loud before she said, “I’m glad.  It’s one thing I do well and love to do.”

“Oh baby, any time…anywhere,” he laughed.

“I’ll remember that,” she said, looking at him seriously, “Honestly, Jack.  When we get home, even if nothing else can happen between us, I want to be able to do that…even if we have to be off-world to do it.”

“Sam,” he sighed, pulling her into his arms, “Let’s not worry about that quite yet…”

He pulled her into his lap and enjoyed the feel of her canvas covered ass on his well deflated cock.

“But, sir,” she whispered, “when we do get back, things are going to have to be different.  We both know that.”

He winced at the sir.  There it was again.  He knew she felt it, because she hesitated.

“Sam,” he said, hugging her tighter, “I don’t care what kind of show we have to put on for the world when we get home.  I just want you to know that now that I have you and I know how you really feel, I am yours.  Sam, whatever happens when we step back through that wormhole, don’t ever forget that.”

“I won’t…”she whispered, leaning her forehead against his, “I won’t, Jack.  I love you too much to ever forget.”

“Now,” he said lightly, “I think perhaps I should make you get out of my lap.  As much as I enjoy the feel of your backside in my lap, there’s an uncomfortably sharp part of this rock trying to shove itself through the skin of my ass which I really would not like to happen.”

She giggled as she quickly hopped off his legs and stood.  Without intending to, she glanced down at his member as he got ready to stand.

“Carter,” he growled with a smile on his face.

Her eyes shot to his and she squeaked as she realized that she’d been caught ogling him again.  He laughed out loud as he stood.  He wrapped his arms back around her almost immediately.

“It’s okay,” he whispered in her ear, “I’m very glad to know that you enjoy the sight of me naked.  You’re going to get used to it eventually.”

She couldn’t respond.  The feel of his skin against her had her breathless.  And the thought of being able to see him naked on a regular basis only made the situation worse.  For now, she’d accept it.  But only for now.  They would have to talk about this all later.

“Okay,” he said, stepping away from her, “head back to camp.  I really need to wash up again, this time to really get clean.  And then I think we’ll spend a little time together clothed, what say you?”

She laughed at him, finally able to smile at him honestly.

“Of course, sir,” she said, putting all her love into the word before she turned and headed back to camp as ordered.


	25. Chapter 25

They sat at the fire once again.  This time, Teal’c noticed that they were in much closer proximity to each other.  MajorCarter had loosened her reserve a little and had allowed herself to touch O’Neill when she laughed or needed to make a point.  She still wasn’t completely relaxed around him when it came to showing her feelings about O’Neill, but he knew it would happen in time.  He had seen her glances in his direction when she would touch O’Neill.  Each time he had acknowledged her glance and given his “approval” with a slight smile or nod of his head.  He understood her reticence, but he truly wished that she would understand he had nothing but the utmost respect for her and Colonel O’Neill and actually was very happy for the both of them.

 

            Jack had noticed the glances.  He had noticed the stoic nod and slight smirk around Teal’c’s mouth at each glance.  He wanted to ask what was going on, but he knew Sam wouldn’t tell him.  He also knew that if he wanted to be stubborn, Teal’c would never divulge his knowledge.  He’d learned it in the past, but it had only been proven yet again during the day when he’d finally asked Teal’c about the soul patch growing on his lower lip.

_“It is an old Jaffa custom,” was all the Jaffa would say._

_“Come on, T,” he’d teased, “You can share the reason for the custom.”_

_“Have you spoken with MajorCarter?” was the reply._

_“Sam?” he asked, truly perplexed, “What does Sam have to do with this….this….” his hand swayed in the general direction of Teal’c’s lip, “…this…thing?”_

_“I suggest you talk to MajorCarter,” Teal’c answered with a slight smile, “She will understand it.”_

 

            Funny, but even when he’d asked Carter about it, she hadn’t been able to give him an answer.  Both had discussed it in lengthy detail as they had walked over the terrain over the course of the day, amongst many other topics of light-hearted fare.  Neither had been able to come up with any reason as to why Sam might know why Teal’c was growing the ugly little blond caterpillar.

            He watched as yet again Sam glanced in Teal’c’s direction.

            “Okay, campers,” he growled, staring at Teal‘c, his patience at an end,  “Just what the hell is going on here that I’ve supposedly missed?”

 

            Sam jumped at the sudden change in his voice.

            “Nothing, Colonel,” she said automatically, the growl for some reason reminding her of his rank.

            “Carter,” he continued to growl, “I have watched you repeatedly look at Teal’c for…for what?…approval?…all evening.  Every time you think I’m not watching, the two of you are communicating.  Now tell me what’s going on?”

            He sounded jealous, Sam realized.  A part of her was suddenly giddy at the feeling that Jack could be jealous of anyone when it came to her.

            “Sir,” she said with a laugh in her voice, “There is nothing going on.”

            “Carter,” he said, turning his glare on her, “I do not think this is funny…Tell me.”

            She understood the order.

            “It truly is nothing, sir,” she said stiffly, “Teal’c and I had a discussion earlier this afternoon.  Nothing else-”

            “O’Neill,” Teal’c interrupted, “MajorCarter was concerned that I would not approve of her feelings for you.  I told her that not only do I approve, I applaud it.  However, I think she was still insecure as to whether or not I could handle the two of you being affectionate towards each other.”

            “What?!?” Jack asked incredulously, throwing his harsh glare back in her direction, “You felt you needed his approval for us to be together?”

            “Sir…Jack,” she said, suddenly frightened by the turn of his tone, “It’s not what you think…I didn’t want anything that happened between you and I to jeopardize SG-1.  Teal’c told me earlier that he did approve of our being together, but I guess I wasn’t really as sure as I thought.  I didn’t even realize until you said something that I was even looking at him.”

            “Well you have been, Carter,” he growled again, the anger having subsided, “I wasn’t sure what was going on--”

            “O’Neill,” Teal’c said softly, “MajorCarter is your mate.  I would never intrude on that.”

            Jack looked over to Teal’c again.  He saw the vow in the statement.  He nodded.  Teal’c responded in kind.

            “So what exactly do you know, T?” Jack asked, his voice suddenly light and nearly carefree.

            “I know, O’Neill, that you love MajorCarter, as she has loved you for many years now.  I also know that you both have had to hide those feelings, from your military and each other for fear of reprisal,” he stated calmly, “I just let MajorCarter know, as I am letting you know, that I am glad the two of you have finally been allowed the time to admit your feelings and to spend the time together you have so craved.  I do not believe in false gods, but I do believe there is a higher power that truly wants the two of you together, even if your government thinks it’s wrong.  I will do everything in my power to make sure no one ever destroys what the two of you have finally found.  Love is a rare thing to find and I have watched the two of you fall in love and have to hide it for too long.  Please understand this, with me, there is nothing to hide.  As I am sure DanielJackson will say, it is about time the two of you got your heads out of your asses and admitted how you feel.”

            Sam’s eyes filled with tears.  This man, like another big brother to her, cared about them this much.  She was overwhelmed.  He would not only keep their secret, he would protect them from the SGC and the Air Force.

 

            Jack, on the other hand laughed.  Teal’c definitely had Daniel’s phrasing down.  But he too was moved by Teal’c’s statement.  He was glad to know that the big guy was on their side in yet another way.

            “Thanks, Teal’c,” he said sincerely, “It’s good to know we have support when this all blows up.”

            He caught Sam’s  look at him from the corner of his eye.  Knowing that he could talk about it in front of Teal’c he had no qualms about discussing this in front of him now.

            “Look, Carter,” he said quietly, but not so quietly Teal’c had to strain to hear, “I love you.  I know you love me.  But as you tried to tell me at the waterfall this afternoon, we are not going to be able to continue things the way they are right now, let alone the way I want them to go, once we step through that wormhole.  We both know that, as much as we want to deny it will change things.  But that doesn’t mean I want things to go back to the way they were.  And knowing that, I also know that eventually, it’s going to blow up in our faces in one way or another.”

            “But, sir--”she started.

            “Don’t ‘But, sir--’ me, Sam,” he growled, “This is not the time, nor the place for ‘Sir’ and ‘Major’.  This is you and me, Sam and Jack.

            “Sam, look, we’ve got until that wormhole opens to Earth to spend the time together as we would want to.  Once we go home, it will be different, but until then, let me adore you as I do right now.”

            She smiled at him.  Both of them turned to look at Teal’c for his approval.

            “By all means,” Teal’c said with a true smile, “Do not let me keep you from each other.”

            Sam turned to him and he took her in his arms.

            “I love you, Sam.”

            “I love you, Jack.”

            And with that, Jack bent to kiss her mouth with every bit of feeling; love, need, want, lust, he had in his body.  When they both resurfaced from a kiss that seemed to last forever, Teal’c had gone, but not far.  His back was to the clearing.  He was standing watch.  Jack turned to Sam with a smile.

            “I know what the caterpillar is,” Sam said softly.

            Jack cocked his head at her in question.

            “It is his ‘badge’ of protector,” she said, “Daniel and I were talking about it just last week…About how the Jaffa facial hair determines their ‘status’ to those who know them.  Teal’c has always seen himself as the warrior of our group.  But he now sees himself as our protector.  He will protect our relationship just as he has protected each of our lives these past three years.”

            “Cool,” Jack said with a grin, “Just one question…”

            “Yes, sir?”

            “Why that particular look?  The blond caterpillar is just so wrong!”

            Sam laughed out loud.  Teal’c turned from his watch and winked at the both of them.  If they both had not been so shocked by the totally human gesture, they would have both immediately broken out in laughter.  As it was, it took both of them a few seconds to realize that what they had seen had actually happened before they both chuckled at the realization that Teal’c knew a lot more than he would ever let on.

 

            “Sam?” Jack said a few moments later.

            She looked into his eyes.

            “Jack?”  she returned in kind.

            “Sleep with me tonight?” he asked hesitantly.

            When she hesitated, he pulled her into his arms gently.

            “Look,” he said, “I’m not saying we have to have sex…I’m just saying I want to hold you in my arms, wake up with you in my arms in the morning.  I’m not saying I wouldn’t like more, but I know you’re probably not ready for that yet…But I love you.  I want to hold you like a lover should.”

            She squeezed him to her.

            “Of course, Jack,” she smiled, “I would love to spend the night in your arms.”

            He couldn’t quell the hoot of joy that slipped out of him.  She laughed at him as she pulled away, grabbing his hand to walk to the tent.


	26. Chapter 26

As she woke up, she momentarily panicked.  She could feel arms around her.  Until she remembered falling asleep in Jack’s arms the night before, she was worried.  Then she smiled.  She felt the warmth of Jack’s body surrounding her, enveloping her entire body in his heat as he spooned her newly awakened form.  The combination of softness and strength that was Jack O’Neill again filled her every fiber with love for the man.  They had both agreed that nothing but cuddling would happen.  They had messed around some, but it had been more like two teenagers, hugging, kissing, fondling.  He had tickled her and she had teased, but neither had wanted it to go any further.  They had fallen asleep, both with smiles on their faces, face to face.  But now, he was spooned behind her.  It was then that she realized what had woken her.  Jack had an erection that was poking at the base of her spine and he was gently snoring in her ear.

            She moved slightly, attempting to turn herself to face him, but his arms tightened.

           

            As he woke, he could feel how hard he was.  Her teasing from the night before had not bothered him at all until he had started dreaming.  He had woken several times in the night to find her still in his arms, each time he had woken hard and randy.  Knowing that nothing could be done, he had groaned in his head and tried to go back to sleep.  Each time, he’d eventually succeeded, but this time, it was morning, and he needed to do something.

            He felt her trying to shift her weight away from him.  He tightened his arms on her.

            “If you don’t stop moving,” he growled hoarsely from mid-snore, “I am not going to be able to control this erection.”

            Instead of stilling, as he expected, she wiggled her backside against him as she giggled.  He growled in her ear.

            “You can be an awful tease,” he rumbled in her ear with a smile, “But I can be too.”

            She suddenly stilled as one hand found the crease between her legs and the other a breast.  She had stripped down to a pair of silky little panties and her tank the night before.  The panties were already wet with her essence as he touched them.  Her breast was taut, the nipple already a hard nubbin.

            “Oh God, Sam,” he purred as his fingers stroked down between her legs.

            “I think that’s supposed to be my line, Jack,” she breathed out.

            He chuckled.  That was his girl, still with a smart-ass comment even with his hands touching her.  When she reached back and rubbed her hand against his hard-on, the chuckle turned into a groan.  The situation suddenly turned from teasing to need.  He buried his nose in her neck, nuzzling behind the hair that was resting on her shoulder.

            “I need you, Sam,” he whispered hoarsely, “I can’t stand this any more.”

            She turned toward him and caught his lips with hers.  She turned farther and wrapped her arms around him.

 

 His hands began roaming as he gently probed her mouth with his tongue.  When her mouth opened and her tongue began sparring with his, every possible thought was driven from his mind except for the fact of how much he wanted this woman.

She squirmed against him and he was suddenly on fire.  He wanted her right now.  His hands slid under her tank, grazing the flesh of her back.  Her skin was so soft.  All he wanted to do was touch more.  His hands slid up her back, farther underneath the tank top she wore.  She groaned at his touch and pushed closer to him.  One hand held her lower back, pushing her into him more.  The other, slowly, excruciatingly slid from her back, along her side to her breast.  They both groaned as he gently squeezed her breast.  As he teased the nipple, he could feel Sam’s breath shortening in need.

He loosened his grip on her and released her breast for the moment it took for him to strip her shirt from her body.  When she gasped, he hesitated until he saw the look of lust in her eyes.  He couldn’t stop himself from leaning down and capturing her breast in his mouth.  As he laved one with attention with his mouth, his hand held the other, gently teasing the already stiff nipple into further hardness.  She groaned his name as she pulled his mouth tighter to her breast.

His free hand began to roam, to touch, to tease other parts of her body.  He slid himself between her bent knees, intent on being able to access her whole body with his whole body.  When he slid up and his boxer-clad erection made contact with her wet panties, she suddenly whimpered and Jack froze.

He raised himself from her and looked into her eyes.  The lust was gone.  It was replaced by fear.  Suddenly, all thought processes began again.  He had nearly done the unthinkable to a woman who he loved but who was not ready for more.  Immediately, he moved away from her, levering himself off of her and leaning back before rolling off of her.

“Oh, God, Sam,” he whispered, “I am so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” she whispered, not able to look at him, “It’s my fault.”

She crossed her arms, effectively covering herself from him.

“It’s not your fault, Sam,” he growled, “It’s mine.  I should know better…But sometimes I forget what I should be doing around you. I‘m s--”

“No,” she said forcefully, “Please don’t apologize, sir.”

He winced.  Back to sir again.

“Really,” she said, finally looking at him, “I wanted you to touch me.  I’ve wanted a lot more than kisses and caresses from you for a long time.  I just can’t.  The memory of Jake will always be there.”

            “Sam,” he said softly, “Jake will always be in your memory.  But that doesn’t mean he will always affect you.”

            “I really don’t know, Jack,” she said, “I can’t ever forget what he did.  And every time I’m with you, I want to get past it, think I have.  But his hands….his touch…”  She stopped.

            He looked at her.  She hadn’t shared many details with him about Jake, or about the rape.  He had never pushed.  He had never wanted to know, honestly, but he also had told her he wouldn’t push.

            “God, Jack,” she groaned, “He looked so much like you.  He had your hands, your smile.  I tried to imagine myself in love with him.  Things would have been so much easier if I had actually fallen for him.  But the only reason he interested me was because I saw you in him every time I looked at him.

            “The night before the rape, I told him that I could never feel anything for him, that he would always be a substitute for the man I truly loved.  It was why his rape was so brutal, why he tried to put his stamp on me.  He knew that I would never love anyone but you.”

            He rolled back to face her.  Gently, he took her in his arms.

            “Oh baby,” he sighed, “I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

            “Don’t be,” she whispered into his neck, “Really, please…”

            “Sam…”

            “No Jack,” she stopped him, pulling away slightly to look in his face, “I’m serious.  If this had not happened, do you think we’d be where we are right now?  Do you think I would be lying, mostly naked in your arms if any of this hadn’t happened?  I’m not saying I deserved to be raped.  I’m not saying I regret the fact that what Jake did to me has scarred me emotionally.  But I am saying that I have to look at the good of the situation.  I got you, if only for a little while on this planet.  I found out that you felt the same way I did.  I won’t regret that, ever.”

            The tears in her eyes were matched by the ones in his.

 

            “Ah, Sam,” he moaned, the emotion choking anything more than those two words from him.  He held her tightly and let the tears slide down his face.  She was so much stronger than anyone ever gave her credit for.  Even he, her biggest supporter had been sure that she would be an absolute basket case at some point in her recovery.  She had proven him, and everybody else wrong.  She was strong and confident.  And some day, he knew, things would be okay between them, in every way.  He wrapped his arms even more tightly against her.

            “I love you, Samantha,” was all he could say, his heart full of so much more.

            “I love you, too, Jack,” she replied into his chest, “Please don’t ever forget that.”

            He pulled back to look down at her.

            “I won’t, Sam,” he said, “I swear.”

            He sealed his promise with a very light, but loving kiss on her lips.


	27. Chapter 27

            “Now, Major Carter,” he said as he finished the kiss, “I believe we either need to get dressed or do something to relieve this problem we both seemed to have to created for ourselves.”

            She giggled as she looked up at him.

            “Well, sir,” she said with a grin as she stretched away from him, “There are plenty of ways to solve each other’s problems.“

            He glanced at her, stretching like a sex kitten.  His hand reached out to touch her once again and he actually heard her purr when his fingers brushed her nipple.  He leaned over and kissed her again.

            “You’re going to be okay with this?” he asked, his fingers sliding down her body, touching the tops of her panties once again.

            “Jack,” she sighed, “Let’s see how far this can go before I need you to stop.  I want you to touch me.”

            “Oh darlin’,” he said with a drawl, “I’m gonna do so much more than touch you.”

            She smiled as his fingers delved under the band of the panties and nestled in the hairs there.  As his fingers brushed down her body to the crease of her desire, her smile faded, replaced by a look of need.  He leaned in to kiss her once again, his mouth opening slightly and licking at her tightly closed lips.  Her mouth opened to his, inviting him in as she slightly spread her legs, inviting his fingers to a deeper exploration.  He slid his fingers into her folds and he discovered her already wet for him.

            She moaned into his mouth as his fingers began probing, searching for her clit.  She pressed her body against his hand, begging for more.  Before she could react to his touch, both hands grabbed the slip of fabric and tugged it down over her ass to her knees.  He turned her so she laid flat on her back, her knees bent. His fingers returned to her pussy, his thumb very quickly finding her clit.  She lifted her hips the slightest bit to give his hand more access, but his mouth quickly replaced his fingers.

            His tongue dipped between the folds in search of her clit.  As the tip of his tongue barely touched her clit, she felt the bubble rising and bursting so quickly, she couldn't quell the scream.  Her hands grabbed his head, shoving his mouth deeper into her pussy.  He kept nuzzling, licking, sucking, even as she started to come down from the pinnacle. His mouth was warm and his tongue soft against her as he lapped her juices and soothed her nerves with small kisses.  When her body had stopped trembling, he looked up her body to look into her eyes.

            “Feel better?” he asked with a grin, already knowing the answer.

            “Oh yeah,” she purred as she stretched again, “I don’t know when it was that I came that fast.”

            “Oh you were pretty fast on the draw the other day in the waterfall,” he said with a wide grin as he sat back from her.

            She looked at him, eyes round in shock.

            “You saw that?”

            “I did,” he smiled, “It was probably the hottest thing I’ve ever seen until this moment.”

            He looked back down on her.  Her legs were still spread wide, her knees up, exposing her pussy to him.  How he wanted to bury himself, head to foot inside her.  He knew he couldn’t yet, but he so wanted to.  She was just reaching out to him when Teal’c called on the radio.

            “MajorCarter, O’Neill, the Stargate has connected.”

            They both stared at each other for a moment before Jack reached over to the radio and responded.

            “Copy, T,” he said, “We’ll be there ASAP.”

            She was already up getting dressed.  Sam threw her tank top on and pulled on her navy BDU pants. And jacket.

            Jack pulled his khakis from the bundle on the floor and pulled them on, grabbing his remaining white shirt and tossing it angrily over his head.

            “Carter,” he said softly as he got ready to step through the tent flap.

“Sir?” she asked, looking up at him.

He stopped and turned to look at her.  What was he to say?  They had said it all the night before.  They had made the promises that what had happened here would not affect what needed to continue on Earth.  They had spoken about everything, but he still felt he needed to say something.

“Just grab what you originally came with this trip,” he growled, “This will not be our last trip to this place.”

“Yes, sir,” she said softly, her head bowed.

He came back to her and touched the side of her face.  She looked up at him and the tears in her eyes were almost his undoing.

“I love you, Major,” he said quietly.

The tears began to fall, but she responded, “I love you, Sir.”

He dropped his hand and nodded at her.

“Let’s go home.”


	28. Chapter 28

Jack walked out of the event horizon.  Daniel stood at the base of the gate with about ten SFs pointing guns at them.  Man, it was good to be home.

            “Well, it's about time!” he yelled at General Hammond, who was still up in the control room.

            “We've been dialing home for about a week!” Sam chimed in as they walked down the ramp.

            “It's great to see you guys, too,” Daniel said sarcastically.

            “I am pleased to see you well, DanielJackson,” Teal’c replied.

            “Thank you, Teal’c,” Daniel replied, obviously mollified by at least one kind response.  “You've got a --”

            Daniel’s hand reached out to touch Teal’c’s caterpillar.

            “Ah!” Jack cut him off and motioned ‘no’ with his hand. “Don't touch it.”     

            “Glad you made it, SG-1,” General Hammond said as he came through the door to the ‘gate room.

            Jack gave him a smirk, “Where's the fanfare, General?”

            Sam glanced at him briefly before she continued the sentence, “We did kinda save the planet, Sir.”

            “Again,” Jack finished, “This should not get old, General.”

            “Job well done,” Hammond said.

            “Thank you, Sir,” he said with another smirk, “It was nothing.”

            Hammond smiled back at him slightly.  Jack knew that the General knew he did have something to be cocky about.

            “What happened to Thor?” Daniel asked.

            _‘Their scrawny grey butts left us on the planet, that’s what happened,’_ Jack thought.

            Sam answered, “Oh, we got him out in the Stasis pod.”

            “He was retrieved when we passed thru the Stargate on P4X-234,” continued Teal’c.

            “It must have had a locating beacon,” Sam finished.

            “They left you behind?” Hammond asked, a touch of confusion in his voice.

            Sam glanced at Jack again.  He saw her look and couldn’t completely contain the smirk that was lurking.

            “We were fine, Sir,” she told Hammond. 

 _‘Boy had they ever been!’_  Jack heard himself say in his head.

            “I'd be happy to debrief you all,” he said as he looked at Sam.  He couldn’t pass the chance to remind her of where they’d been fifteen minutes before, “after I've had a nice hot shower.”

            He caught her stifled grin before he turned his eyes back to General Hammond.

            “Permission to shower granted,” Hammond smirked, “In fact, I insist on it, Colonel.”

            Jack looked at Daniel.  He had just had his nose buried in his 2IC’s pussy a bit ago.  He knew it was probably permeating off of him, but really, that bad?

            “Bad?”

            Daniel wrinkled his nose slightly, as if to actually smell the smell coming off of Jack, “I wasn't gonna say anything.”

            Jack nodded as he passed Daniel on the way out of the ‘gate room.  He did need that hot shower, after he took one final cold one.  But he grinned as he glanced behind him and saw Carter following her usual two steps back.

            “Well,” he said quietly as she stepped up to his side, “I thought that went well.”

            “You are so going to get us in trouble if you don’t stop with the mouth,” she said with a grin, adding a little belatedly and with her special purr, “Sir.”

            He leaned over and whispered in her ear, “But Major, I thought you liked my mouth.”

            She stopped stock still and glowered at him. He laughed out loud, startling a couple of SFs as he turned into the locker room to take that hot shower.


	29. Chapter 29

            Debriefing had been an experience he had never wanted to go through.  For the most part, they had centered around their battle with the Replicators on the Baliskner, but they eventually got down to the nine days they had spent on Paradise.  Jack intentionally didn’t lie, but he didn’t really tell the whole truth either

            “Colonel, what happened on P4X-234?” came the dreaded question.

            “Not much of anything, sir,” Jack answered, glancing at Sam briefly before he continued. “As we arrived we had fifteen, maybe twenty Replicators that had either preceded or followed us.  We dealt with them as quickly as possible.  However, it left us very low on ammo, but there was no need for it on Paradise.  Once the threat of the Replicators was neutralized, we spent the week exploring the planet, seeing if perhaps SG-9 had missed something on their original recon…And we fished, sir.”

 

            General Hammond smiled at that.  Even he knew about Jack’s obsession with fishing. But something wasn’t right.  If he could prove it, he would think his second in command was lying to him.  But both Major Carter and Teal’c had confirmed that not much had happened.  According to all three of them, they spent the week relaxing, fishing, hiking and dialing the gate to get home.  There was something different between the three of them.  He was almost positive that something had happened between Colonel O’Neill and Major Carter.  He was sure that there was a lot more going on, but it was nothing he could prove.

            “Nothing else, Colonel? Major?” he asked.  When nobody was forthcoming with anything more interesting, he gave up…for the time being, “Alright people.  Since Doctor Frasier has put Doctor Jackson on medical leave for another week, I’m going to give the rest of you the next week off.”

            “But Sir,” said Major Carter, “We just had a week of vacation.  And I have so much to catch up on!”

            “Like you were originally going to leave before Thor kidnapped me!” Jack said with a laugh.

            Hammond laughed at that too, “Major, you are welcome to stay on base, if you would prefer.  Jack, I’m assuming you’re heading home?”

            “Yep, sure am,” he quipped, “It’s where I was headed over a week ago.  My fish are waiting for me.”

            Major Carter chuckled before Hammond turned to Teal’c.

            “Teal’c, any plans?”

            “I too, have had enough rest and relaxation as you call it.  I believe I will be happy to be temporarily assigned to another team, if that is alright with you General Hammond.”

            “That is perfectly fine with me,” Hammond replied, “I believe SG-8 will be leaving in about two hours if you want to gear up.”

            “Thank you General Hammond,” Teal’c replied.

            “Alright people,” he said again, “If there’s nothing else, you’re dismissed.”

            He stood and walked back into his office.  He watched them through the window.  Teal’c stood over the two of them, listening to the conversation between Jack and Major Carter.  Hammond couldn’t hear what was being said, but the proximity of their bodies to each other only confirmed his suspicions about a development in their relationship on Paradise.

            A small part of him wanted to go in and dress the both of them down.  But he knew he had absolutely no proof at all that something was going on.  The other part of him, the one that understood that relationships sometimes develop without any prodding and the much larger part, wanted to let them alone to see what happened between them.  They were his best team.  If anything, they had all three grown closer during their stay on Paradise, perhaps what he was seeing was nothing more than a close friendship bond…that was what he was going to tell himself.  Anything else, and he would have to intervene.  He did not want to have to do that.

            The phone rang on his desk.  Time to get back to work.


	30. Chapter 30

            Sam was studying a piece of Replicator under a magnifying glass about an hour and a half later. Jack’s face appeared in the glass behind the magnified block.  Their whispered argument in the briefing room after General Hammond had left had convinced Jack that she needed the time away from him to sort things out and to truly get the projects done that she’d neglected.  Of course, when she had arrived in her lab, the pieces of Replicator had been in a small box on her desk.  She couldn’t help but smile at the goofy look in the glass.  He was definitely in rare form now that he knew how she felt. 

            “What ya doin'?” he asked with a smirk.

            She looked up at him and smiled slightly, “They salvaged a couple of Replicator pieces from the ocean, I thought I'd take a look.”

            He straightened up.  She couldn’t help but look at his firm body.  She caught herself glancing at his crotch.  She almost lost it when he gave her a wink.

            “Is that --- wise?” he asked seriously.

            “Well, there's no discernable energy being emitted,” she said as she looked up at him, her eyes repeatedly straying lower.   “I think it's pretty safe to say they're dead. Besides, it's only just a couple of little blocks.”

            “Well, I'm off,” he said with a slight smile, very slightly thrusting his hips forward, knowing where her eyes kept straying.

            “Still going fishing?” she asked with a smile.  She knew where she wanted him to go fishing, but they wouldn’t be able to do anything or go anywhere for a while.

            “Yep,” he answered with a grin, “Still staying here?”

            “Yeah,” she returned. She could hear the underlying question ‘ _Please say no.  Please go with me?’_ but she ignored it.  “I think I've had enough relaxation for a while, Sir.” she purred.

            He hesitated for a moment before he said, “OK!”

            “Have fun,” she said as he headed toward the door, her mind already back on the Replicator piece in her forceps.

            “Ya Sure Ya Betcha!” he said on the way out.

            She lifted her head to watch him leave.  The phone rang.  Standing with the Replicator piece still in the forceps in her hand, she grabbed the hand set and answered.

            “Carter,” she said.

            “Major Carter, Major Davis is on his way from the Pentagon.  Stand down has been rescinded, sorry,” said General Hammond with a touch of regret in his voice, “Report to the briefing room.”

            “Yes, Sir,” she replied, slamming the phone down.  She needed to catch Jack before he took off.

 

            He knew she had stuff to do.  But damn it, she always had stuff to do.  Jack was halfway to the elevator, when she called out to him.  Maybe she’d changed her mind…

            “Sir, wait ---”

            “DeJa view!“ he said turning around with a smirk, realizing that where he stood was about the same place he had been when the Asguard had taken him.

            “General Hammond just called,” she said, successfully hiding her smirk, also recognizing where they stood, “Major Davis just called from the Pentagon.”

            “NOT going fishing?”

            “No, Sir,” she shook her head as she turned to head back toward her lab.

            He followed closely behind, “D’oh!"


	31. Chapter 31

            Jack threw a grenade into the room with the Queen. Teal’c slammed the door shut two seconds before it went off.  When Teal’c opened the hatch door, the original Replicator showed its ugly head, if it had a head.

            “Son of a BITCH!” he growled as he shot at the original Replicator that had been imbedded inside the Queen repeatedly before it finally fell apart.  When they’d blown up the Baliskner, he’d thought they were done with the damn bugs for a while.  Instead, Carter was off to the Asguard home world fighting the threat there while he was here fighting them on his own damn planet.

            “I believe you got it, O'Neill,” Teal’c said quietly.

            “Yeah, I think I got it,” he growled as he turned and headed toward the ladder to head up to the upper decks.  The hatch was covered in Replicator pieces.

            “What the HELL?!” he mumbled as he shot through the Replicator door twice.  He watched as it rebuilt itself solidly again.

            “O'Neill!” Teal’c yelled, pulling his attention from the hatch.  The battery room was quickly filling with extremely pissed off techno-bugs.  They were in trouble in that direction.

            “Ahhhh, crap!” he grumbled.  They were so not getting out of this one.  He could see it already.

            “Colonel O'Neill,” came Davis’s voice over the com, “is there any way you can make it to the escape hatch?”

            Teal’c ran the few steps to the battery room hatch and slammed it shut before he was on Jack’s six.  They headed through a couple of compartments before they reached the escape hatch.

            “Teal'c! Let's try this,” he said as he pulled the cover off the hatch.  He took a quick glance up the hole to almost have a Replicator fall on his face. He killed it and its follower in quick succession, but those two were rapidly replaced by about four more.  There was no way out this way either. 

“All right! Forget that!”

            They headed back through the compartment door and sealed the hatch.  The Replicators were already through the door behind them.  Teal’c was shooting at the onslaught, seemingly not affecting them.  Jack looked behind them.  There was absolutely no way out unless a miracle happened.

            “You better go ahead and blow this thing!” he said in his com to Daniel and Davis.

            “That's not exactly a positive attitude, Jack!” Daniel replied.  He could hear the fear in the younger man’s voice, but he didn’t need it right now.  He unstrapped the helmet and took it off, facing the camera in his direction.

            “Listen to me!“  he yelled over the sound of the bugs and Teal’c’s shooting, “We are not getting out of here!  Mission accomplished!!!  Blow it!!”

            “JACK! ---” came Daniel’s desperate plea.

            “Daniel, PLEASE!!!!!!”  he yelled.  He did so not want to go out this way.  He so had thought he and Sam were going to have more time.  But there was no way now.  “Move your ASS before I get eaten alive by these god damn bugs!”  When he heard nothing, he yelled at the other man on the other side of the line, “Davis! Give the order!!!”

            He dropped the helmet and continued to fire at the bugs surrounding him.  He didn’t really know why he bothered, except that he really didn’t want to be eaten by these damn things.  He hoped that by killing some of the things, he’d give Davis enough time to blow the sub and he and Teal’c would go out in one big flash.  The damn bugs kept dropping from everywhere.  He was rocked to the floor as the torpedo hit somewhere to the fore.  He felt two Replicators crawl onto his back as he noticed his helmet with the camera.  Shit!  He realized in that moment that Daniel and Davis could see them.  He really didn’t want to have them watch his death.  He reached for the helmet to turn off the camera.  He rolled into the fetal position as another bug crawled onto his head.  Suddenly, he realized they were gone.  No bugs were crawling on him.  He looked up and saw the smiling face of his 2IC.

            “Now, THAT'S timing!!!!!!!!” he pointed at Thor.

            “We came as soon as we could, Sir,” she grinned.  He rolled to his feet and crawled over to Teal’c.

            “Teal'c,” he said touching the man’s shoulder, “you all right?”

            “I am, O'Neill,” he said.  Jack touched the top of his head as Teal’c struggled to his feet.

            “I take it things weren't going well,” she said, a concerned look on her face.

            “Oh, we had things handled pretty good,” he said sarcastically.  He tapped Teal’c on the shoulder a couple of times.  She looked good, so damn good.   

            “So the bugs are all taken care of down there?” Sam asked, a slight frown marring her forehead.

            “Pretty much. You?” he said quickly, a small grimace crossing his face.

            She glanced at Thor before she said with a shrug and a slight smile, “We kicked their asses.”

            Jack raised his eyebrow at her, “They had asses?!”

            She chuckled.  And he grinned.  He had missed her in the short time since they’d been apart.

            “The Asguard had this big new ship, the O’Neill ---” she said with a slight smile.

            He stood up.  A ship named after him? “Oh, yeah?”  he felt the grin growing.

            “But,” she hesitated, screwing her face up in a cute little grimace of her own, “we had to blow it up.”

            “Oh,” he said as the grin faded.  Figures.  He watched as Carter walked toward him.  He so wanted to pull him to her, but knew he couldn’t…again.

            “The Asguard are most grateful,” Thor said, interrupting the by-play, “One day we will repay you by helping to fight the Goa’uld.”

            “One day?” he asked.  They can’t help now?  Jeez!  They save their asses not once, but twice and this is the thanks they get?  He knew the look he was giving Thor was one of disgust, but he really couldn’t hide it.

            “Saving one Asguard planet is a small victory, O'Neill,” Thor answered.  The little grey guy knew what he was thinking, damn it! “The conflict with the Replicators stretches across my galaxy. Major Carter's strategy worked this time, but the Replicators are very intelligent, it may not work again.”

            “I get it,” he said as he glanced at Carter and then Teal‘c.  He got it.  He didn’t like it, but he got it.

            “However,” Thor continued, “now there is hope where once there was none.”

            “You ever need any more dumb ideas, you know where to find me,” Carter said with a slight smile.

            “Until we meet again,” Thor said.

            “Yeah,” he said, still not happy that they’d been denied again, but ready to move on. “Hey, listen! Stop by anytime. In fact, I'll take ya fishin'. I'd love to do that. There's this lake in Minnesota where the bass grow THAT big ---”

            When he found himself standing in the center of the ‘gate room, he just dropped his hands and his head.  He heard Sam chuckle.

            “D’oh!” he said.

            Sam’s chuckle turned into a full out laugh before he heard General Hammond’s voice say, “Welcome back, SG-1.  Debriefing in one hour.”


	32. Chapter 32

            She couldn’t believe her luck.  Two days and she would have her new house.  It seemed she and Daniel and Jack had just gone to see the place a few days before, but it had been nearly a month.  She had signed the papers just before Daniel’s appendectomy and everything had apparently gone well with the bank.  Of course, the fact that she could basically pay over half the cost of the house in cash probably had a lot to do with it.  She’d been saving for so long for her perfect house.  And with Jack’s help, she’d found it.

            She was grinning to herself as she perused the pictures Tom and Sandy had allowed her to take of the rooms after she’d made the offer.  She hadn’t really had the opportunity to look at them except cursorily in the past three weeks.  She had already decided that for the most part, she’d leave the house exactly as Tom and Sandy had decorated it.  Except what had been the kids’ bedrooms.  The boys’ was just too much with the sports balls border and appliqués on the walls.  The color was fine for a guest room, but the “boy” stuff was going to have to be dealt with.  As for the girls’ room, it was too frilly and “girly” for her taste.  It would all have to go.  She’d decided to use the girls’ room as her room, leaving the front room as a den/office.  But she knew she’d have to do one thing: she’d have to get a new bed.

            Her grin faltered at that.  She really wanted her old bed back.  But the memories that Jake had imprinted on her centered around that bed, and she would never sleep in it again.  Her smile renewed as she realized that this would be the perfect opportunity for her to get Jack to go shopping with her.  Why not take the man she loved to find the bed that they would one day make love in?  The grin broadened.  She knew getting Jack O’Neill to go shopping for anything that didn’t involve fishing or large vehicles was going to be a challenge in itself.  She started planning way to approach him on it.

 

            He didn’t know what she was thinking or planning, but he knew he was in trouble by the grin on Sam’s face before he said anything to her.  She hadn’t noticed him as she had gazed at the pictures strewn across her desk.  From the brief glance he gave them, they looked like pictures of Tom and Sandy’s…correct that…Sam’s new house.  But the grin…it was purely mischievous and she hadn’t even seen him yet.  He decided to get the torment over and cleared his throat.

            “Am I interrupting, Carter?” he asked nervously.

            She glanced up at him and he nearly fell over with the brightness of her smile and the love that showed in her eyes.  _Whoa!_ he thought _I am in trouble!_

            “Hi Sir,” she smiled, “I was just thinking about coming to find you.”

            “Uh oh,” he said with a grin of his own, “I’m in trouble, aren’t I?”

            She laughed.  He realized how much he loved her laugh and how much it had been missing until the last week or so.  It wasn’t one of those tinkly, high pitched giggles that caused him to cringe.  Instead, her laugh was uniquely hers; of a nice mid-range that was not too raucous, but sufficiently loud enough to show appreciation for the joke, whatever it might be.  He grinned at the happiness on her face, proud to know that he had a major part in the glow surrounding her.

            “So what exactly did I do that has you grinning so evilly?” he asked, his grin still hovering around the corners of his mouth.

            “Well, sir,” she said, her voice dropping to that new sexy purr when she used his title.  _Oh, he really was in trouble_, he thought as he felt himself hardening.  He was going to have to walk away soon or attack the gorgeous laughing blonde sitting in front of him.  “I’m in need of some furniture for my new house,” she continued, dropping her voice to a semi-whisper, drawing him closer to hear, “I was hoping you might be willing to go bed shopping with me.”

            He stepped away with a not a little touch of shock on his face.  Bed shopping?  Hmmm.  The shock very quickly slid away into a knowing grin.

            “Any particular reason you need my help, Carter?” he asked as casually as he could.  You never knew who might be lurking around the corner.

            “Well,” she said with a knowing grin, “I know how much of a kid you are.  You can bounce on the mattresses and let me know which feels the best to you…”

            His grin faltered again before he started laughing.  _Wench!_

            “Sure, Carter, why not?” he said through his laughter leaning back close into her, “I would love to bounce on a bed with you.”

            She laughed even louder than before.  She was still laughing when Daniel came flying into her lab, papers shuffling in his hands and his mouth already running.   Jack heard him coming before he was around the corner and stepped a discreet distance away.

            “Sam, Jack,” Daniel said, looking up from his papers, “You gotta see this…”

            Sam just looked at him with a bright smile.  Conversation nowhere near over, it said.  He nodded at her at turned his full attention to whatever it was Daniel was yammering on about.


	33. Chapter 33

            Jack walked off the elevator into the sound of Harriman’s voice overhead.

            “Unscheduled off world activation!”

            He watched as an airman ran to the middle of the corridor and stopped to yell at his subordinates, “Move, move, move, move, MOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

            He turned around and headed for the control room.  Something major was up.  He entered the control room to find Carter and Harriman at the control computers.

            “I still can't make it out,” she said to Harriman, “…try to filter out the subspace RF interference.”

            “Carter,” he said in lieu of a “hi”.

            She looked up in him in surprise, “Colonel! Sir, this is the fifth incoming wormhole in the last hour and a half.”

            He was slightly shocked, _hour and a half_?  “All right, I'm here two hours early ... When did you get here?”

            She looked away from him, slightly ashamed, “I…haven't left yet.”

            “Didn't I order you to get a life?” he said with a slight smirk.

            “Yes, Sir, you did ...but, you see…” she started until Daniel interrupted.

            “I just heard,” he started before realizing Sam had been talking, “...they sent a radio signal this time?“

            Jack just looked at Daniel.  Him too?  What is it with his people?  He tries to get to work early and can’t beat them?  It sucks!

            “Yeah, but the frequency they're using is just outside the range of our equipment. We're trying to make the adjustment,” Sam said in response.

            “What are you doing here?” he asked Daniel.

            Daniel looked at him, obviously distracted, “Well, someone's trying to contact us...how often does that happen?”

            “We can receive now, Major,” Harriman said.

            “OK, pipe it through the speakers,” Carter responded, “and...try to match it so we can transmit back.”

            The voice from the other side of the wormhole said, “I repeat…This is Uronda base...have you reached the other side?”

            “Oh, my God!” Carter said under her breath.

            “…Malar, if you can hear me please respond…“

            “This is Major Carter of the United States Air Force. It is imperative that you send no one else thru the gate!”

            “…Can anyone hear me?  This is Alar of the Uronda Alliance….”

            “He can't hear you, Major,” Harriman told her, “We still haven't matched the frequency.”

            “Historians believe this Stargate is a portal to the world of our ancestors...Your kindred are besieged by a powerful enemy unwilling to listen to reason…Our supplies are all but gone...our defenses are on the verge of collapse...help us...please!”

            The gate suddenly shut down.

            “Damn!” Carter said quietly.  She hesitated a moment before turning to Harriman, “All right! There were four off world activations prior to this one, and the iris was closed the whole time ... How many impact events did the computer record?”

            Harriman clicked some keys on the keyboard and brought up the events.  “Three,“ he said quietly.

            “So ... three dead,” Jack said.

            “Yes, Sir,” she said, the anguish evident in her voice.

            Daniel shuffled next to him, “I'm...gonna...go...look up Uronda,” he said as he turned and walked away.

            “Not your fault, Carter,” he said, touching her shoulder gently before turning away himself.  How many times had he had to let men die?  He knew what she was going through, but he told her the only thing he knew to do, “Move on.”

            “Yes, Sir,” he heard her tight response.

            He hurt for her in a way nobody else would understand.  He’d been there.  Being the cause of someone’s death, intentional or not, always got to him.  This was the first one that was going to hit home for her…and he was frustrated that there was nothing he could do about it…


	34. Chapter 34

            Bed shopping, away from the SGC, with no one around but her and Jack had been such an adventure.  They spent the day laughing and joking around, Jack occasionally bouncing on a bed just for effect.  He left her in stitches by the end of the day.  But it had not all been fun and laughs.  Several times over the course of the day, she had gone silent, lost in her own world.  Sometimes it had been about Jake, and Jack had known instinctively that she didn’t need to talk about it, just be held.  And he did that so well.

            Other times, she had been drawn to their mission on Uronda.  She had let three men die.  But Jack, he had let hundreds die.  She knew the whys and the wherefores, but she couldn’t understand how he could be so calm about it.

            _“Sir,” she said at one point to get his attention._

_“Carter?” he had replied with a smirk._

_“Can I ask you something?”_

_“’Course, Carter,” he said, his smirk fading, “You can always ask me anything.  I just may not answer.”_

_She smiled at that, “Of course, sir, I know that,” she said, “But I was wondering…How do you do it?”_

_“Do what?” Jack smiled, a knowing look on his face._

_She hated to ruin his good mood, but she needed to know._

_“How can you so callously let a man die and then not feel any regret?”_

_“Callously, Carter?” he asked, his posture changing with the change in mood, “It wasn’t callous.  And there is regret.  But, Carter, you have to understand…I didn’t get to the rank of Colonel by way of desk.  I’ve had to do a lot of things I regret to get here.  I’ve had to do a lot to stay here…”_

_“But, Sir --” she started, unsure of what she was really going to ask._

_“Sam,” he said, taking her shoulders in his hands, forcing her to look at him, “Alar killed himself.  I told him not to come through…Yes, he was dead the moment his world started crumbling around him, and we could have probably saved him…but he made the choice.  He was going to run from his mess…and that of his father’s…to a world where he would have been a prisoner, an outcast.  He would have learned fast enough that we too are breeders and then what?  Believe me, Sam, I thought all this through on my way through the Stargate.  He made his choice.  All I could do was let him.”_

_“But you could have let him come through…why didn’t you?”_

_“I’ve fought against the idea of men like him my whole life.  So did my father, and my father’s father.  This man and his father were no better than Hitler…or Sadam Hussein…or Apophis for that matter…I didn’t want him on my world, in our world…”_

_“I just don’t understand…” she said sadly, her head dropping, “you let a man die…regardless of his beliefs, you let him die…just like I let those three that came through die…”_

_“Carter,” he growled, shaking her slightly, “Do I regret my choice?  Yes…if only because it hurts you so much…But your choice was based on the fact that you didn’t have enough information.  If those men had been Jaffa attacking for Apophis, do you think you would feel any better?”_

_She stared at him…he was right…She knew it in her head, but it didn’t stop her heart from hurting.  Then he had kissed her and every negative thought had gone out of her head…_

            Now she stood in her new house, waiting for the bed to be delivered.  She had spent the day before stripping the border from the top of her new room and the borders and appliqués from the guest room.  It had made a great improvement to both rooms.  The paint on the walls was going to have to wait, but without the border in her room, she was actually beginning to enjoy the textured mauve color on the wall.  When the sun had hit it late in the evening just before sunset, the room had glowed with the hundreds of shades of pink, mauve and purple.  It had nearly taken her breath away.

            The doorbell rang.  _The delivery men_ , she thought as she jogged down the hall to the front door.  She was excited at the prospect of putting together her new acquisition.  She had deliberated with Jack which bed was the best for several hours.  It had not taken her long to pick out the style, only the size.  She’d finally decided on a King sized modified sleigh bed with wrought iron fret work.  Of course, Jack had finally convinced her that once they did take their relationship to the next level, she would be happy with a much larger bed to play in.  She had been slightly taken aback at the bluntness of his statement that it wasn’t a matter of if, but when.  But once she’d adjusted to the fact that the man loved her and wanted to be with her, no matter what, she enjoyed his teasing.

            Without looking through the window of the front door, she flung it open.

            “Hey guys!” she said before the door was completely open, “just bring it in here.”

            “I don’t have anything but me myself and I, but I’ll put it anywhere you want me to,” Jack replied.

            “Jack!” she gasped, her eyes jumping to his in shock and the joy that always filled her when she saw him lately. “I didn’t expect you until later,” she smiled.

            “That’s pretty obvious,” he said with a chuckle as he stepped over the threshold and closer to her.  She took a slight step back and he closed the door behind him before he grabbed her up into his arms.  “I’ve been waiting all morning to do this.”

            His head dipped and he captured her lips in a tender kiss.  She sighed into his mouth and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer.  She quickly responded to his kisses, tenderness forgotten and passion burgeoning.  He groaned as she opened her mouth to his and he deepened the kiss.  More than just passion started growing between them and he pulled away slightly with a chuckle.

            She cocked her head at him in question

            “I only came to give you a nice gentlemanly kiss and take to you to breakfast.  But if you keep kissing me that way, I’m going to want something else for breakfast instead.”

            She giggled as she ground her pelvis into his hips.  She knew his problem and she felt empowered by the knowledge that she could do that to him with a simple kiss.

            “Well,” she smiled wickedly, “since I’ve already had my breakfast, I’d say there’s no problem for me.”

            He cocked his head at her, the question in his eyes.  Before he could ask the question, the doorbell rang again.  _This has to be the delivery men!_ she thought.

            “Except for the fact that the bed is in pieces,” she whispered against his mouth before pushing him away slightly to answer the door.

 

            He refused to let her go.  First of all, he had a raging hard on that couldn’t be hidden in his tight jeans or under the t-shirt he had decided to tuck into his pants that morning.  Second, he was afraid that if he let he go now, he’d not get her back in his arms again anytime soon.  He stepped backwards toward the door; Sam still captured in his arms and opened the door.

            “Come on in guys,” he said heartily, not looking behind him.

            “Uh….Jack?” Daniel’s voice came over his shoulder.

            Jack’s eyes grew to the size of dinner plates as they connected with Sam.  Her eyes got very wide as well, but she realized who Daniel was with and started giggling.  As he was about to release her, she grabbed on to him, not letting him go.  She pulled him closer and away from the door.

            “Hi, guys!” she smiled, “Welcome to my new home!”

            “Uh…Jack?” came Daniel’s question again as he stepped over the threshold, quickly followed by Teal’c.

            “Daniel?” he replied.  What else could he say?  He’d just been caught with his 2IC in his arms in a compromising position…okay, it could have been more compromising had he taken her up on the offer she’d made minutes…or was it seconds before…but the clutch that she refused to now release him from was definitely compromising…

            “How are you?” Daniel asked slowly.  Jack still hadn’t turned around.  His eyes continue to bore into those of his laughing Major.  He didn’t see the grin on Daniel’s face.  He didn’t see the small smile on Teal’c’s face.  He couldn’t see that Daniel was teasing, not upset.  And still, Sam grinned like a fool at him.

            “Jack,” she said with a smile only for him, “it’s okay…They both know.”

            “What?!” Jack growled as he released Sam and turned around.

            Daniel grinned fully.

            “It’s about time you got your head out of your ass, you old fool,” Daniel laughed.

           

            Jack glanced at Sam.  Sam looked at him.  They both glanced at Teal’c who gave the slightest shrug followed by one of his enigmatic smirks.  Sam and Jack turned to look at each other again and burst out laughing.  They laughed so hard that tears started down Sam’s face.  Leave it to Teal’c to peg Daniel so completely.  As their laughter died down, Sam looked at Daniel at the same time as Jack.  Daniel’s face was a study in confusion.  When Sam looked back at Jack, the laughter started all over again.

            “Did I miss something?” Daniel asked, causing the dying laughter to escalate again.  He was all for a joke, and he didn’t even mind being the butt of it as long as he knew why he was being laughed at.

            Just then, the doorbell rang for the third time.

            “Who now?!” Jack bellowed, the laughter still in his voice as he stepped over to the door to open it.  This time, it was the delivery men.  He looked back at Sam and they started laughing all over again.  Both guys stood in the doorway, holding the big box that was Sam’s bed, confusion on their faces as well.

            Daniel pushed Jack to the side.

            “Come on in, guys,” he said, “Don’t mind the bedlamites, they were released a little earlier than they should have been.  We’re taking them back tomorrow.  Follow me.”

            Both of the delivery men looked at each other. They crossed the threshold and followed Daniel down the hall.  Sam and Jack were still standing against the wall giggling like two little children as Teal’c shut the door.

            “Damn, T,” Jack said with a smile, “You got him so good and he doesn’t even know it.”

            “Indeed,” Teal’c said, sending Jack and Sam into yet another fit of laughter.


	35. Chapter 35

            After the deliverymen left with a reassurance from all four of them that there was no need for them to assemble the bed, or call the asylum, the team spent the rest of the morning putting Sam’s bed together.  Of course, there wasn’t much room in the room for all for of them and the mattress and the bed frame as it was getting assembled, so Jack and Teal’c took over, kicking the scientists out of the room.  Sam and Daniel spent several hours in her new kitchen storing dishes and setting up the great room.

            “Uh…Sam?” Daniel asked out of the blue, standing up from putting pots and pans in the lower cupboard.

            “Just do your best Daniel,” she replied, not looking, “Whatever doesn’t fit in there will probably go to Goodwill or something.  It’s not like I ever really cook much anyway.”

            “No problem,” he said with a soft smile, “I got it all to fit… But that wasn’t what I wanted to talk to you about.”

            She finally looked at him.  She saw the seriousness on his face.  She knew what was coming.  She didn’t want to ask, but knew it was expected.

            “What did you want to talk about?” she asked warily.

            “Let’s sit,” he said, leading her to the other side of the island and the three barstools Tom and Sandy had left for her.  As she sat down, she hesitated.

            “Sam,” he said a little more forcefully, “Sit.  I promise, what I have to say is not going to hurt…at least, I hope it won’t.”

            She sighed and relaxed into the seat.  She couldn’t meet his eyes as he looked at her.  But he persisted in trying to catch her glance.  When he finally succeeded, he continued.

            “You really do love him, don’t you?” he asked.

            “Yes,” she said softly.  There was no point in denying it.  He’d seen their embrace.

            “It’s okay, Sam,” he said, touching her shoulder, “I really am happy for both of you.  Really.”

            She looked up at him.

            “But I hear a ‘but’ coming,” she said.

            “Yes,” he sighed with a small comforting smile, “There is a ‘but’.  And I know you know what it is, Sam.”

            “I do,” she said, “It’s the same thing I’ve been trying to tell Jack since he told me he loved me, Daniel…But what am I supposed to do?  I love him.  I can’t see myself without him in my life.”

            “And you don’t have to, Sam,” Daniel interrupted, “But you do have to remember who he is and who you are and what your professional relationship is.  At least when you’re inside the walls of the SGC.”

            “How?” she asked with desperation in her voice, “How do I keep from showing the whole world that I love him?  How do I keep our superior officers from reaming us both when I can’t be in the same room as him and not feel his eyes on me?  How do I live what would be considered my normal life when all I want is to be in his arms?”

            “I don’t know, Sam,” he said quietly, “I wish I could tell you.  I want you to understand, though, Sam,” he continued, “I love you like a sister.  And I love that crotchety old guy in there like the big brother I never wanted, and I will do everything within my power to protect the both of you from being discovered.  You and Jack together just seems…right, regardless of what the government and the Air Force say.”

            She grinned at him briefly before she said, “Teal’c said pretty much the same thing.  He even said you’d say the same thing…and thank you, Daniel.  I love you, too.  I am so glad that what is happening between Jack and I won’t cause troubles for SG-1.  We’re a family.  The only family Jack has and the only family I ever needed.  I don’t want to lose that, above all else.”

            “A family?” Daniel asked with a wicked grin, “Does that mean I get to call you Mom?”

            She laughed out loud and smacked him on the shoulder before he opened his arms and pulled her into a hug.  She allowed herself the comfort of his arms for a moment before she pulled away.  She sat back and looked at Daniel with a grin.

            “Shall we go see what those two are doing to my bed?”

            Daniel smiled and nodded.  “They should be done by now, right?  I mean, they said they could handle it without our help.  Teal’c can handle it, maybe…but Jack…hmmmm…”

            Sam laughed as she grabbed his hand and tugged him off his stool, heading to her room.


	36. Chapter 36

            “O’Neill, I don’t believe that this part is connected correctly,” Teal’c said, pointing at the footboard.

            Jack looked.  Sure enough, they had turned the footboard so that the roll at the top of it was facing inwards, not out.  Damn, another delay.  He had been sure that they would have had the damn bed put together in a matter of minutes, but missing parts and instructions in Chinese had not helped matters.  He handed Teal’c the ratchet and set to work supporting the rail as Teal’c loosened the bolt.  He wanted to growl in frustration.  He had hoped to be done with this little project so he could coax his Major into testing it out as soon as they kicked Daniel and Teal’c out of the house.

            “I told you,” he heard Daniel say, “Kick out the scientists and they’ll never get it done.”

            He looked up at the two scientists standing in the doorway. The blonde one had a grin from ear to ear.  It wasn’t one of her million watt smiles, but it was still a heart stopper.  He found himself letting go of the rail of the bed and walking over to her before he realized what he was doing.  He stood in front of her and didn’t know what to do.  She made the first move and wrapped her arms around him as she planted a kiss solidly on his lips.  All thought of anything but her slid from his mind as he wrapped his arms tightly around her.  He indulged himself for a moment, reveling in her taste and her smell before he heard Daniel clear his throat.  He suddenly realized they had an audience.  He pulled away slightly, his cheeks tinged with pink as he realized he had completely lost track of anything but her.  She giggled as she bowed her head into his neck, hiding her embarrassment from the other two.

            “Wow, Jack,” Daniel smirked, “And that was only a couple of hours and a few yards.  What’s gonna happen if you have to separate for a night…or even, say, a week?”

            Sam’s head popped up as she and Jack both looked at Daniel in horror.  They were in trouble.  Both of them had had nothing but eyes for each other the moment she’d walked into the room.  Daniel was right.  What would have happened if they had been on base and separated that long?  Would he have torn over to her as he had?  Would she have kissed him without thinking as she had?  Would they have stopped if Daniel had not interrupted them?  All these questions flew around her head and she turned to look at Jack.  It was as if she and Daniel had never spoken just minutes ago about this very same thing.

            She turned to look at Jack and found him watching her.

            “Jack--”

            “Sam,” he said, putting a finger to her lips, “Shhhh…let’s talk about it later.”

            “But Jack--”

            “That’s an order, Major,” he said gently, the command evident.

            She couldn’t help the tears gathering in her eyes.  What were they going to do?  Before anyone could say anything more, all four of their cell phones rang.  Time to go back to work and the real world once again.


	37. Chapter 37

            Jack and Daniel arrived moments before the wormhole connected. They had somehow nonverbally decided to get Sam’s bed set right before they’d left her house.  Jack had wanted it ready for when they finally got back.  Daniel had wanted to talk to Jack about what had happened.

 

_“Look, Jack, I’m sorry.”_

_“Sorry about what?”_

_“About what I said,” he replied, “I was just trying to tease you two.  I failed miserably.”_

_“Yeah,” Jack said, finishing up the last bolts on the bed, “You did, Daniel.  She’s really freaked out about this whole her and I thing and how intense it has gotten.”_

_“No, Jack,” Daniel said, “she’s not…She’s more freaked out about the whole you and her thing not working out.  She’s afraid that your working relationship will suffer…and worse, that the two of you won’t make it.”_

_“Won’t make it?” Jack asked harshly, his head shooting up to look at Daniel, “Damn it!  Did she tell you that?”_

_“No, Jack,” Daniel said, knowing he needed to tread softly here, “She didn’t tell me that.  But that is the root of all her worry, Jack…trust me on this….She loves you beyond distraction and can’t see her life without you in it, whatever way that is…”_

_“Well, damn.”_

_“Yeah,” Daniel had smiled slightly, “she loves you, man.  And it’s driving her crazy.”_

_“Well, damn.” Jack said again._

_Jack had just looked at Daniel.  Daniel, not sure what else to say just shrugged._

_“Well, let’s go,” Jack said, shaking himself from his thoughts, “Hammond’ll have our butts in a sling if we don’t get there before the Tok’ra._

            As they walked in, General Hammond greeted them, “Doctor Jackson, Colonel.”

            “General,” replied Jack.

            “The message I got was pretty vague,” Daniel said.  That was an understatement.  All of their phones had gone off at the same time and had said the same thing, “Tok’ra arriving at 14:00, return to base ASAP.”

            “So was the transmission we got from the Tok'ra,” replied Hammond as the wormhole opened behind the iris.

            “Did they say who was coming?” Daniel asked, trying to put his BDU shirt on over his t-shirt.

            “No,” replied Hammond.

            “Did they say why?” Jack asked, the frustration evident in his voice.

            “No, Sir,” Sam answered this time.  She had tried to find out more before Jack and Daniel had arrived, but Hammond had known absolutely nothing.

            “See, I - That's rude! I hate that,” Jack said grumpily.  The tech announced that they’d received the Tok’ra IDC as he continued, “In fact, the Tok'ra are starting to annoy me in general.”

            “Sir?” Sam said.  She wasn’t sure if this was just a rant or something deeper.

            “Don't get me wrong, Carter,” he said, looking over to her, “Your dad's great, I love him like a brother,” he looked back towards the ’gate, “Every time they show it seems like it's all kinds of ---”

            Sam saw his look of awe before she saw the beautiful Tok’ra woman.  Her gaze shifted to the ‘gate as Daniel finished Jack’s thought, “Yep! That looks like trouble to me.”

            The woman that walked down the ramp raised every warning signal Sam had ever thought she’d hear.  Jack and Daniel’s eyes were riveted on the blonde woman with brown eyes at the top of the ramp.  As she sashayed down the ramp, every step enhanced her lithe figure.  She tried to smile at the guest, she truly did, but she wanted nothing more than to tear the woman’s eyes out and she hadn’t met her.  She felt something very ugly rise in her throat as the woman began to speak.

            “The Tok'ra High Council sends it's greetings,” she said, the Tok’ra voice taking prominence.

            “Welcome! I'm General Hammond, Colonel O'Neill, Doctor Jackson, Major Carter, and Teal'c.”

            The woman motioned to the Tok’ra standing next to her carrying a box made of stone that seemed to not be too heavy. “This is Mornon,” she said regally, “You may call me Anise.”

            “Anise?” Daniel asked.

            “It means Noble Strength,” came the grating voice again.

            “I'm Daniel,” he said hesitantly, “It means uh - God is my Judge.”

            Sam watched Jack cock his head to the side.  She knew something sarcastic was about to be said, but the bile in her throat was making her bite her own tongue.

            “I'm Jack. It means --- uh --- What's in the box?”

            “Let’s go up into the conference room, this way,” General Hammond said, “You can show us what you’ve brought up there.”  

            Sam suppressed the giggle that rose, all feelings of what she had suddenly realized were jealousy gone.  Jack turned to look at her briefly and she caught his wink seconds before he turned away.  She had nothing to fear from this woman.

 

            Two days later and here she was planning a way to get onto a planet where Apophis was building a new ship.  It was against orders, she knew.  A part of her told her to stop, that it wasn’t right.  But the part that was controlled by the armband that had been placed on her arm the morning before was winning out.  It didn’t help that Jack and Daniel were right beside her, plotting with her, disobeying orders as well.  But hell, if your CO was gonna disobey orders, you’re supposed to as well, right?  They’d pretty much gotten away with it the night before at O’Malley’s for steaks, so why not on something that was for Earth this time?

            “The gate will be heavily guarded, but we should be able to handle it,” she said, “Wormhole physics dictate that you exit at the same velocity that you enter.”

            “So, they'll never know what hit them,” said Daniel.

            “Exactly,” she nodded, “The facility, however, will be more of a challenge.”

            “Can't we just zip in, plant C-4, zip out?” Jack asked almost nonchalantly.

            “Won't do it, Sir.  The power core of the ship is completely sealed in trinium. That's what we have to take out,” she said as she continued to glance at the specs of the ship.  “Hang on, the POWER core is directly linked to some sort of liquid cooling system that's based in the facility. These pipes, here, lead into it.”

            “So, we zip in, blow the pipes, and zip out?” Jack said.

            “The core will over heat and explode,” she replied, nodding again.  “The only problem is, there are force shields protecting this restricted area.”

            “So?” Daniel asked.

            “So --”  she paused.  She glanced at Jack and Daniel and understood why Daniel even questioned it as a problem, “I see your point.”  She saw the slightly confused look on Jack’s face and explained what Daniel had already figured out, “Goa'uld force shields operate on a frequency oscillation principle. If we were moving fast enough…theoretically, we'd be able to see the oscillation principle, and run right through.”

            “We'll need snacks,” Jack said with a smirk.  She grinned as they got up to get ready.

 

            Getting through the gate and up to the manufacturing plant had been a piece of cake.  The Jaffa they had encountered were now lying around the ‘gate or on the forest floor with no idea how they’d been knocked out.  Daniel was on his way to get the weapons grade naquada and they were looking for the force shields protecting the cooling system.  They were stopped in the corridor, but something wasn’t quite right with Carter.  She was bent over and sweating a bit.

            “Whoa, Sir. Is it hot?” she asked as she wiped her hair back off her forehead.

            “Little bit,” he said.  He looked at her for a moment before he asked, “You all right?”

            “Yeah. I'm fine,” she replied.  Before he could press the issue, she started pacing the corridor, “The force shield should be somewhere around here.”

            She walked into it, the entire passageway lighting up a florescent blue.  She looked back at him.

            “Heads up!” he smiled as he started running.  Sam followed directly behind him.  They found themselves in the cooling tower.  It went up for several stories…and this was just the manufacturing plant! “Whoa!” he looked at his watch and said, “Five minutes.”

            “Right,” she said, glancing at her own watch, “After the cooling system goes down, it should take about ten minutes for the power core to go critical. That leaves us fifteen minutes total to get back to the gate.”

            “Whatever,” he smiled.  Fifteen minutes was more than enough time.  He grabbed the C-4 from his pack and started planting it at the base of the structure as Sam planted more in various places around the cooling tower.

 

            They were headed out of the facility when they ran into Daniel.

            “Did ya get the naquada?” Sam asked him.

            “Oh,” he said, seemingly panting.  Jack figured the stuff was heavy enough for two people, that even with his super-strength, Daniel was probably having a little bit of a time of it.  “It's --- uh --- it's in the pack.”

            “Good, let's go!” Jack said, patting Daniel on the back and heading out.

            They were nearly outside when Jack realized Daniel wasn’t behind them.  He turned to go find him, Sam right behind him all the way.  They found him sprawled on the floor of the corridor, the pack still on his back.

            “Daniel?” Jack said as they came up on him.

            “What's going on?” Sam asked as she kneeled down to him.

            “I can't move,” Daniel said as Jack got the pack off his back.  Suddenly, the armband made a slight his and clicked open.  Daniel immediately passed out.

            “What’s going on?” he asked Sam.

            “I’m not sure, sir,” she said looking up at him.  She looked down at her armband.  The light was still green, as was his.  He looked at his watch, they didn’t have much time, but they had to get Daniel out of there.  Before they could even begin to move him, a Jaffa showed up around the corner.

            “Halt! Cree!” he yelled as he lowered his staff weapon.  Jack saw the second Jaffa coming up behind the first.  They were in trouble.

            “All right! You got us!“ he growled as he stood up, “Don't Cree!”

            He was just thinking that he was going to have to run at them very fast to hit them when the first Jaffa took a zat' blast.  The second Jaffa stepped forward to shoot at them.  Jack watched as it passed between he and Sam before it hit the wall.  Before either of them could move, another zat' shot hit the second Jaffa.  Teal’c stepped out of the corridor and over the incapacitated Jaffa.

            “It seems my assistance was required after all!” he said with a small smirk on his face.

            “Yes, thank you!” Jack replied

            Daniel woke up and mumbled, “What happened?”

            “You passed out. Your arm band came off,” Carter aid as she helped him sit up.   Teal’c grabbed Daniel’s arm and lifted him off the ground.

            He could hear Jaffa coming, they didn’t have much time with Daniel out of it.

            “All right, talk later! We gotta move!” he said, “Teal'c, get Daniel out of here, back through the gate. Carter, you're with me!”

            He and Carter headed toward the Jaffa at breakneck speed and knocked the whole group out.  The sirens started going off.  They’d been made.  _Oh, this was so not how this was supposed to go down! _

            He checked his watch.  They had about two and a half minutes to get out of there before the C-4 went off. 

            “Let’s go, Carter!“  he said softly.

            “Right behind you, Sir,“ she replied.

            They both picked up the pace, running through the force fields like they weren’t there.  Suddenly, he heard her grunt.  He turned and watched as she fell behind the fading blue light of one of the shields. 

            “Carter?” he said as he headed back toward her. 

            He watched as the armband fell off her and then she passed out.  He felt himself slowing, he couldn’t have said how he knew it, but a half a second before he plowed into the force shield himself, he knew he wasn’t going to make it through.  He slammed into it and fell to the ground. He felt the armband loosen seconds before he passed out.

 

            She woke up to the sound of sirens in her head.  Her arm was lighter than it had been in days.  She looked around and saw Jack passed out on the floor a few feet from her.

            “Sir?“ she said as she picked up the armband, the useless piece of junk and threw it over in a corner.  Jack had still not responded.  “Colonel?”  she yelled as she sat up, hoping to wake him. 

            “Whoa!” he groaned.  She saw him roll over onto his back.  He looked at her and she smiled wanly.  He grabbed his armband as he stood up and threw it into a corner, “We should've brought more snacks!”

            “I don't think that would've helped,” she said as she looked at her watch.

            “1:56,” he said as he stepped toward the shield.  They’d been out for almost a minute and she was stuck.  Jack’s banging on the force shield did nothing but made him look as desperate as she felt.

            “Sir, you've gotta get out of here!” she said.  She didn’t want him to die too.

            “So do you,” he said, looking around.  He grabbed the arm of a torch and began reaming on it to get it loose from its holder.

            As it came loose, he slammed it against the force shield, also to no avail.

            “Sir, you have to go.  There’s no time.  Go without me,” she said again.  She wanted to beg him.  She wanted him to leave.  If he died, she’d never forgive herself.  Of course, she wouldn’t have much of a life left to worry about it, but she wanted him to leave, to get free, to be safe.

 

            “I’m not leaving without you, Carter,” he said as he glanced toward her.  He  looked around for something else to use the torch on.  He saw the panel that controlled the shield in the alcove.  He slammed the torch into the panel twice and kicked at it from the bottom once before it seemed to give way.

            He pried his fingertips under the edge of the panel and it opened.  Just a couple of minutes more and he might, with her help, figure out a way to bypass the system and get her free.

            “Sir--” Sam said , “Sir, there's no time!”

            He jumped up to yell at her, to tell her he would rather die than leave her here alone to die, but they heard Jaffa coming their way.  He started slamming the torch into the shield again.

            “Sir!” she said, the pleading in her voice was driving him over the edge.

            “I know! I know!” he yelled back at her.

            “Sir, just go!” she pleaded, the tears hanging on the edges of her eyelashes.

            “No!” he yelled at her.  _“I can’t, Carter…Sam,”_ he wanted to say _, “I can’t leave here without you.  If I do, I’ll never forgive myself.  And without you there’s no point in living.”_

            The Jaffa came around the corner.  Their time was up.  Jack looked at Sam for a moment more, imprinting her on his memory.  Suddenly the explosion of the C-4 went off, rocking the entire facility.  The jolt knocked not only them to the floor, but the Jaffa as well.  Sam saw the shield lower as she rocked onto her back.

            “Did you see that?!” she asked.

            “Let's go!” Jack said as he clamored to his feet.  She tried to grab the backpack full of naquada, but he yelled at her, “Carter forget that! Leave it!”

            They ran as fast as they could.

            “We have about ten minutes, sir,” she said as she trailed a half a step behind him.

            They literally nearly ran Daniel and Teal’c down as they barreled out of the facility.

            “Come on, let's go! Move, move, move!” he growled, “I thought I told you guys to get back to that ‘gate!”

            “Yeah,” Daniel said as they matched pace with Jack and Sam, “Teal'c wouldn't leave.”

            They were nearly to the ‘gate.  Sam looked at her watch on the run, “Less than a minute!”

            A staff blast went just wide of her.  His heart nearly stopped, but he knew couldn’t stop running.

            “Get down!” Teal’c yelled.  He, Sam and Daniel hid behind a rock. Teal’c zat'ted both pursuing Jaffa and they got up and continued to run.  When they got near the ‘gate area, most of the Jaffa they’d knocked out earlier were still passed out.  Teal’c zat'ted one as he ran toward the DHD.  Jack felt a little useless hiding behind a wooden totem pole while Teal’c risked his life to get them home, but damn it, he was tired.

            As the wormhole established, the facility blew up.  The mountain began to erupt just as they hit the event horizon.  His last thought before going through was, “Crap, this is gonna hurt!”

            As he landed on the ramp, he saw Hammond climbing the ramp to meet him, “Just remember, I retired! You wanted me back!”

            “Colonel, are you all OK?” Hammond asked as each of them began to get up off the ramp.

            “Think so,” he heard Daniel say.

            “Will be!” he heard Sam mumble.

            “I am very well, General Hammond,”  Teal’c said.

            “What happened?” asked Hammond.

            “The damn armbands fell off is what happened!” Jack growled.

            “I am sorry!” Anise said.

            “Were you successful in destroying the ship?” Hammond asked them.

            “Indeed we were, General Hammond,” Teal’c replied.

            “Good!” Hammond said, “Report to the infirmary.”

            “Uh, General, Sir,” he said nervously.  He knew they were in a heap load of trouble, “about the obviously impending court-marshals, I'd like ---”

            “You were all under the influence of Alien technology, Colonel,” Hammond interrupted, “I'd say that a pretty solid defense.”

            “Even so,” he returned, “I --- I'm sorry.”

            “Me too!” Sam said behind him.

            “Me, three,” Daniel said behind her.

            “I have no need to apologize,” Teal’c said as the three of them turned to look at him.  He walked down the ramp away from them.

            “Teal'c was actually following orders,” Hammond said.

            “Of course he was!” Jack said as he headed down the ramp as well.

            Anise stopped Sam at the bottom of the ramp, “You left the armbands behind.”

            “We had other things on our minds,” he heard his Major answer sarcastically.

            “Understandable,” Anise said before she turned her attentions on him, “Colonel?”  she said.  Then her voice changed into that of the host, “Anise and I both hope we can work together in the future.”

            He looked her up and down for a moment before he said, “Both of you? Can't wait for that!”

            He jumped off the end of the ramp and caught up with Carter.

            “We so need to talk,” he whispered in her ear as he passed her on his way to the infirmary.

            “Talk, sir?” she said a little louder, as he was a good three feet in front of her now, “Whatever do you mean?”

            He stopped and turned around on her before she could stop.  She literally ran into him and he had to grab her arms to keep her from falling back.  He knew she felt what was in his pants.  His blood was rushing and all he want to do was bury himself in her.

            “Oh,” she said softly, a blush slowly creeping up her neck to her cheeks, “That.”

            “Yes,” he said as he leaned in to whisper in her ear again, “That.  And so much more, Carter…oh, so much more.”


	38. Chapter 38

            They’d made it through.  Somehow, they had gotten lucky again.  Jack couldn’t believe that he had been given yet another chance with this woman.  They had gone through the infirmary and debriefing relatively quickly.  Once Frasier had given them a clean bill of health, Hammond had told them to go home and rest.  He had told Carter that they had to talk.  She had agreed.  But they had gone their separate ways when they left the base. 

            She had called his cell only moments after her car had disappeared around the corner.  She had said nothing more than, “My house.  Two hours.”

            He had spent an hour cleaning up and dressing, more time than he’d spent on preparing for any kind of date that he’d ever had.  He had shaved and showered and washed his hair.  He’d tried to tame the mess with a little bit of hair gel, but it had only ended up spikier than usual.  He had dressed in a nice navy button-down oxford and the nicest pair of khaki pants he owned.

            Now, he stood in front of her door.  He felt nervous, and excited, and absolutely lucky as hell.  When she opened the door to him, he felt even luckier.  She was wearing a fine chiffon dress of pale, pale blue.  The material was light and airy against her skin.  The thin spaghetti straps seemed to barely hold the dress in place.  The skirt was soft and light and stopped just above her knees.  She showed a lot of leg, right down to the strappy-heeled sandals.  Her hair was brushed to a golden sheen and the smile on her face was one of the million-watt, killer smiles that he always cherished.

            “Hello, Jack,” she said softly.

            “Hello,” he growled as he stepped over the threshold and took her up into his arms.  He couldn’t resist the need to crush his mouth to hers.  After the harrowing experience they had had with the armbands, he wasn’t going to wait to hold her any longer.  By her response, he could tell she felt the same.

            His mouth molded to hers.  She opened her lips, inviting his tongue’s exploration.  Her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer.  He found himself pressing her against the wall, showing her exactly what she was doing to him.  She squirmed against him, increasing his tension.  When her tongue darted into his mouth to spar with his tongue, he couldn’t hold back the groan.  He played with her tongue, inviting her to delve deeper into his mouth.  His hands began roaming her body, touching every bit of her he could reach.  His hands were in constant motion, never stopping on any one part of her anatomy.  When his mouth dropped to the side of her throat, he could hear her panting breath in his ear.

            “Oh God, Jack,” she moaned out, “I’m so glad you’re here.  I’m so glad we made it.  I couldn’t have lived…”

            He stopped her mouth with his, stopping the words from coming out.

            “Later, Sam,” he said against her lips, “Later…For now, let me just love you.”

            “Yes,” she said against his lips, “Love me, Jack.”

            He found himself sweeping his hands under her legs, lifting her close to his body.  The whole time, his mouth never left hers.  He walked them straight to her bedroom where he knew her bed was ready and waiting for them.  He didn’t stop until he reached the edge of the bed and could set her down.  He was going to pull away and let her adjust to the idea that this was going to happen, but she pulled him onto the bed with her, rolling him under her.

            He was content to let her take charge.  He was sure that he wanted to make love to her as much as he had always wanted to make love to her.  But he wasn’t sure she was sure she was ready.  Her taking charge allowed her to stop when she wanted to.

            She began unbuttoning his shirt, her mouth following the opening as it grew.  When her mouth reached his nipple, it was already hard and erect, but her moist, hot lips made it tighten even more.  He groaned at the sensation of her hand roaming his body.  Her fingertips brushed across his stomach and he instinctively sucked it in. Her mouth slowly followed her fingers.  He gently touched her shoulder and slid his hand up her neck to her hair.  Her glorious hair was brushing through the hair on his chest, tickling him and arousing him at the same time.  He hesitated when she lifted her head to look at him.  Would she have a flashback?  Would all this be cut short again?

            “I’m fine, Jack,” she purred, “My mind is fully aware that it is you in this beautiful bed you helped pick out.  Touch me how you want to.”

            He needed no further invitation.  He grabbed her shoulders and hauled her up his body so that her mouth met with his again.  He rolled her under him and lifted his head to look down at her.  He brushed his hand through her hair and caressed her cheek.

            “I love you, Sam,” he whispered, “I love you so much.”

            Her eyes filled with tears, mirroring the ones he felt filling his.  This woman was his.  He was hers.  He felt so incredibly lucky to know that fact.

            “Jack,” she sighed, “I love you, too…”

            He pulled back a bit to take a better look at her.

            “I hear a ‘but’ coming,” he said with a half smile.  The “buts” were always a problem.

            She smiled at him through the tears still pooled in the corners of her eyes.

            “Only one ‘but’, Jack,” she said strongly, “I love you…But if you don’t do something with what’s poking me in the thigh pretty soon,” she grinned as she lifted her hips into him, “I’m going to go absolutely insane here.”

            “I like that kind of ‘but’, Sam,” he growled.

            Her hands reached down to the band of his pants and undid the belt and buttons in a flash.  His hand found a wisp of panties under the edge of the hem of the dress that had ridden up to her hips and he pulled it down as she struggled to get his pants over his hips.  She giggled as their hands intertwined and got caught up in each other as they were doing their separate tasks.  He smiled at the silliness of it all himself until her hand had his pants over his hips and her hand found his cock.  Then he stilled, sure that any further encouragement would only succeed in his embarrassing himself.  As he felt her gentle hand guiding him into place, he felt her breath on his neck.  He looked down at her to realize she was almost as tense as he had become in the last few moments.

            “Relax, Sam,” he whispered, placing a gentle peck on her hair.

            She looked up into his eyes and the tears were there again, but this time he could see they weren’t the ones of joy they had shared just minutes before.

            “Ah, baby,” he sighed.  There was the fear.  He started to pull back, to roll away from her, but she held him firmly in place.

            “Don’t go, Jack,” she whispered, “I want this.  I want you.  I’m just -”

            “Sam,” he sighed, moving himself forward in her hand, a small bit closer to her opening, “we don’t have to.  We can wait if-”

            “No!” she growled, “No more waiting!  I’ve waited this long and I nearly lost you.  I’m not going to let this moment pass.”

            He winced slightly at the pressure she was putting on his cock.  It wasn’t too much, but it was definitely keeping him from moving in any direction.

            “Uh…Sam?” he said with a slightly pained smile, trying to lighten the mood just a little, and thereby hopefully her grip, “I’m not going anywhere.  You got me in the palm of your hand.”

            She looked up at him in shock and then a slow grin started to cross her face.  He felt the pressure relax just the slightest bit and he was able to slide deeper into her hand, closer yet to her pussy.  His grin grew as the head of his cock pressed against her opening.

 

            She knew he could feel her tension.  She was terrified that he would get inside of her and she wouldn’t be able to stretch.  Jake had torn her so badly that her vaginal walls had scar tissue on them.  As Jack slowly, incrementally slid himself in, she prayed that it wouldn’t hurt.

            “Shhhh, baby,” she heard him whisper through the haze of fear that was slowly starting to overwhelm her, “I’m not gonna hurt you, you know that.”

            “I know, Jack,” she sighed out, “I know you wouldn’t intentionally.”

            “Sam,” he said roughly.

            She couldn’t look at him.  She didn’t want him to see the fear in her eyes.  She couldn’t stand for him to pull away from her now.

            “Sam, baby,” he said again, “Look at me.”

            She felt compelled to look.  His eyes, so soft and beautifully brown showed nothing but love and compassion.  She wanted to weep at how lucky she felt.  This man loved her.  This she had known.  But he was showing every part of his heart and soul through his eyes, even if he didn’t know it.

            “We have all night,” he said gently, “If I have to go this slow so you can adjust, I’ll do it.  I’m not going anywhere tonight.”

            The tears filled her eyes again.  How could a man know her thoughts and her feelings so well?  How could he know just what to say?  She didn’t care; she just was overjoyed that he understood.

            She felt the stretch as he moved a little deeper.  He bent and kissed her lips, his hands caressing her hair, her face.  His mouth moved from her lips to the spot right behind her ear.  His breath tickled her ear the lightest bit as he breathed in her smell.  She felt the jolt of electricity all the way down to her core, her excitement for him growing, the fear lessening.

            “I love you, Sam,” he whispered so lowly that she had to concentrate to hear, “I was so afraid I’d lost you.  I’m never gong to let you go, my love.  You’re mine forever, just as I’m yours.”

            Her heart caught in her throat at his declaration.  She felt the tears that had been pooling in her eyes over the last few minutes slip out of the corners and down the side of her face to where his lips were hovering.  She felt his tongue begin to lap at the tears.  The soft caress of his tongue on the side of her face sent every thought of fear out of her head.  It was at that moment that she realized that he was buried deep inside her and was beginning a slow, arduous retreat from her body.

           

            Her fear scared him.  He hated when she was scared.  It just reminded him of how frightened he had been when they thought they were going to lose each other.  He bent down to hide his face in her neck, the tears welling in his eyes becoming overwhelming, starting to fall.  He couldn’t let her know how much her fear was affecting him.

            He didn’t realize he had said his thoughts out loud until he felt her tears mingling with his on the side of her neck and felt her entire body relax.  He licked her tears from her face, intentionally swirling his tongue around that sensitive spot behind her earlobe.  He found himself buried deep within in her and began pulling out to begin the process all over again.  He was determined to help her enjoy her first time since Jake if it killed the both of them.  The tension was disappearing from Sam’s body.  As he pulled further and further out, it wasn’t tension of fear that was holding him inside her.

            She thrust her hips up, forcing him to dive deeper into her.  When she groaned, he hesitated, until she moaned his name.

            “Don’t stop, Jack,” she moaned again, “oh, you feel so good.”

            He took that as his cue to increase the pace a bit.  He wasn’t going to start slamming into her, like part of his brain kept telling him to do.  He held himself in check, pushing into her at a slow, easy pace until she began lifting her hips up to him.  She started to increase the pace, and he allowed her to set the rhythm.  He felt himself pulled deep into her.  He could have sworn he was going deeper each time he pushed into her.  He felt her wrap her long, beautiful legs around him, all fear forgotten.

            “Oh yes, Jack,” she cried out again, “More. More. Don’t stop! I‘m so close!”

            He lost himself in her, in the rhythm of their passion.  He felt himself abandon all pretense of slow heat and let himself give in to the need to take her and show her how much she was truly his.  He began thrusting into her, her hips meeting him with equal force.  She was as close to the edge as he was.  He could feel his need on the precipice. He felt her walls close in around him, tighten on his cock, squeezing him, milking him as she moaned in his ear.

            “Yes, Jack, yes!” she cried out, “Oh god, yes!”

            It was all he needed to let himself go.  He let himself bury deep inside her as he released himself into her.  He heard himself groan her name as she cried out his in one long sigh.


	39. Chapter 39

            She woke wrapped in cocoon of warmth and softness.  She recognized instantly that Jack was still by her side in her bed.  They were spooned together.  His arms were wrapped around her, one arm under her head, the hand gently grasping her shoulder, the other gently caressing her belly in slow, lazy circles.  She could tell by his soft snore in her ear that he was still asleep, that his hand roamed of its own volition.  She breathed deeply, inhaling the scent that surrounded her, uniquely Jack’s scent, coupled with the smells of their joining.  She smiled at the remembered passions of the night.

            Once they had determined how far she could push things, they had experimented…several times throughout the night…with positions that were comfortable for her.  Jack had brought her to climax so many times she had stopped counting.  She had done her best to give Jack an orgasm for each he gave her, until he had begged her to let him alone.  She chuckled at his last pleadings to let him sleep, to recuperate.

            “My snores funny to you, Major,” he growled huskily in her ear, the wandering hand becoming more purposeful now.

            “Absolutely not, sir,” she said with a smile, “Just thinking about how I had to let you sleep so you don’t pass out from sheer exhaustion at the base today.”

            “Oh,” he said lazily, “I don’t think I’ll pass out.  In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ll be zipping along quite nicely.  You on the other hand,” he said silkily as his hand wandered lower, “You may be walking a little funny when we get there.  I’m sure there will be many questions about who had the pleasure of your bed last night.”

            Her heart skipped a beat as his fingers dallied with her clit.  Her brain told her she needed to talk to him about his statement, but her body betrayed her and turned toward him to allow him better access to her folds.

            “Ah,” he murmured against her ear, his tongue darting out to lick the edge as his fingers delved deeper into her, “I see you don’t care who thinks what, Major.  Shall I try to make you walk even funnier?”

            “Yes, sir,” she sighed, her body having completely denied her any thought of repercussions.  Jack’s fingers slid deep inside, exploring the still wet folds of her pussy.  His fingers only increased the flow of her juices on his hand.

            “I cannot believe how ready you are for me again, you minx,” he smiled as he moved his hand between her legs.  She felt his hard cock easily slide into her from behind.  “Nor can I believe how hard I am for you already…and again.”

            She sighed as he slid slowly into her, taking his time, enjoying the feel of her walls surrounding him.  She had gotten used to the slight tightness that accompanied his first intrusions.  This time, as he pushed deeper into her, the tightness lessened faster.  She slowly moved forward, rolling herself onto her stomach, letting him follow her, staying connected.  She found herself face down on the bed, legs slightly spread.  Jack’s cock was buried deep inside her, with him pushing off the bed.

            “Oh God, Sam,” he groaned, “I’m so deep.  You’re so tight.”

            “Yes, Jack,” she sighed.  She pushed herself into a kneeling position.  She wanted Jack to take her from behind, hard and fast, but she didn’t want to have to say it to him.  It was a position Jake had taken her from repeatedly, not only on the night of the rape, but many other times before.  It was her favorite position, and she wanted Jack to realize that and make it a favorite for both of them.  She wanted him to erase Jake’s memories and imbed himself in her thoughts when it came to the position, as he had done with so many others throughout the night.

           

            He stayed buried deep inside her.  She was still tight with the changing of positions.  He wanted nothing more than to slam himself into her repeatedly, empty himself deep in her body.  But he knew he had to wait.  He knew he had to figure out what she wanted before he could do that.  She had spent the night moving into new positions for them to try.  She had never said anything to him, but he knew instinctively which positions Jake had used when he raped her.  This one, from behind, “doggy style” was obviously one of those.  Her body was tense, though she’d tried to hide it.

            As with the other positions Jake had used to rape her, Jack began moving slowly.  He slid out slowly, and moved back in.  As she began to relax, and her body began to let him move better, he increased the pace.  He was ever aware of her body, paying attention to what the increase of pace did to her.  As he moved faster, he felt her relax more.  He was pushing into her pussy so quickly that he felt his balls start to slap against her clit.  When she groaned and started to push back, it was all he needed to let his baser instincts kick in.  He slammed into her, making her grunt with the force of his cock burying deep inside her.  His brain told him, at one point that he needed to slow down, to pay attention to how she was reacting.  For a moment, he assessed the situation, but when he found no resistance, no fear, no need to slow, he left his brain on the other side of the room and pounded her so hard her grunts became moans.  He knew the sounds now.  He knew that what he heard was not fear, but pure ecstasy.  As soon as he recognized what he heard, he also heard her begging.

            “More, Jack,” she moaned between his thrusts, “I want more…Harder…Faster…”

            He gladly accepted the challenge and thrust harder and faster than he had ever thought possible to slam into a woman.  And suddenly, without any kind of warning that his body would normally give, he felt himself coming harder than he ever had in his life as well.  Sam’s scream of joy and passion as her pussy clamped down on him only served to send him farther over the edge.

            As she started to come down from her high, her knees gave out on her and she fell forward, face first into the pillows.  Jack, still connected, was compelled to fall with her.  He held himself above her, allowing himself the pleasure of the one little secret he’d discovered about Sam in their time together throughout the night.

            He was still inside her.  Her body continued to orgasm around him.  While she was nearly catatonic under him, first her pussy and then her entire body would “short circuit” and tighten all over.  It was a strange but arousing phenomenon.  But what he loved most about it were the giggles that came from her every time it happened. As she short circuited this time, she giggled again and he laughed with her.

            “I love that,” he growled in her ear.

            “Love what?” she asked, her voice muffled by the pillow.

            “Your giggle,” he said with a smile as he eased himself out of her.  He slid next to her and pulled her into his arms.  “I love your giggle.  I love your laugh.  I’ve missed that so much these last few months.  I’m so glad to hear it come so readily again.”

            “You’ve done that, Jack,” she said seriously.  “I’ve never been so happy.  I’ve never felt so comfortable with someone.  You’ve been there for me through all of this nightmare.  You never forced me to tell you things I wasn’t ready to.  You’ve always been patient, loyal, kind-”

            “Hey, don’t start callin’ me a boy scout!” he growled with a mock scowl.

            She giggled again.

            “Well, sir,” she said with a grin on her face and a purr in her voice, “You’re my boy scout.  So get over it.”

            “I’m over it,” he said with a gentle smile and a kiss to her hair.  “I’ll be your boy scout any day, Major.  But you tell anybody I’m a nice guy, you know I have to kill you for telling state secrets.”

            She laughed full out.

            “Jack,” she said through her laugh, “if that’s your idea of a state secret, we have a problem!  That’s about as much of a secret as Area 51!”

            He laughed again and hugged her to him.  He rubbed his hand on her naked back and his grin faded.  He was gong to miss this today.  Somehow, he felt he was going to miss it for more than just during the day, but he didn’t want to allow his thoughts there.

            She felt the change in his mood.  The moment was over.  And they needed to get to the base.  She hugged him to her one last time and slid out of bed to get dressed.  She was not surprised when Jack did the same thing.


	40. Chapter 40

            There was no way this was happening.  She couldn’t fathom how she could be a Za’tarc, but Freya and her magical machine said differently.  Sam had no idea what was going to happen now, but she really did not want to spend the rest of her life in lock up.

            She saw Jack through the door.  Even her normal thrill at seeing him these days was tempered by the fear of what he was coming to tell her.

He turned to the SF who had let him in.

            “Give us a second, huh?” he said.

            The SF nodded and Jack closed the door behind him.

            “Sir, this has to be a mistake.” she said with a shrug.

            “Tell me about it,” he nearly growled.

            “Can you talk to General Hammond about getting me re-tested,” she pleaded, “I mean there must be--”

            “Us,” he interrupted bluntly with a smirk.

            “What?” she said, not sure she understood what he was saying.

            “Us retested,” Jack said with a touch of anger in his voice. 

            Sam closed her eyes in horror.  How could they _both_ be Za‘tarcs?

            “Apparently, I'm one of those . . . zarc-things too,” he continued, pointing over his shoulder, “I'm across the hall.”

 _“_ That can't be,” she stated, hoping he was somehow making a horrible joke.

            “I know,” he said, all the seriousness he could muster in those two words.

            “Although we were both unconscious at the same time,” she said.

            “Apparently.”

            She looked at him.  It was possible that it could happen, but still…

            “Sir, are you worried that it's at least possible?” she asked him, hoping he would say no.  But she knew his thoughts had followed hers.

            “A little,” he said to confirm her thoughts.

            “What are we going to do, sir?” she asked, hoping he had some idea, any idea.

            “I wish I knew, Carter,” he said, stepping closer to her, “I usually leave the brainy ideas to you or Daniel.”

            She smiled at that as she stood.  He never gave himself enough credit.

            “We’ll figure something out, Jack,” she said softly, “I know they think we’re Za’tarcs, but I just don’t get how that can be.”

            He grabbed her elbows as he stepped even closer.  He glanced over his shoulder through the window in the door to be sure the SF wasn’t watching.  He knew the camera was firmly to his back.

            “We’ll get through this, Sam,” he said softly as he touched his lips to hers, “We have to.”

            She kissed him back briefly before stepping back and turning away.  Before he could say anything, the SF knocked on the door.

            “I’ll talk to you soon, Carter,” he said with a small smile, “Work on a way to get us out of this.”

            She turned back and gave him a small watery smile, “I will, sir.”

            With that, he turned and walked out the door.


	41. Chapter 41

Waiting to find out his fate was boring.  It was a good thing Daniel had given him the yo-yo, if only for a joke.  When the knock sounded on the door, he didn’t think anything of it.  Just figured it was Daniel come to keep him company.

            “Yeah?” he said in place of the standard ‘come in’.  He looked up and saw Freya, “Oh. You,” he said.

            “You are probably not happy to see me.”

            “Well, if you're not here to tell me it's all a big mistake,” he said as he put the yo-yo down, “I might be a little glum.”

            “I have come to apologize. It is sort of our fault you are a Za'tarc,” she said as she stood there, “maybe a little more Anise than me.”

            “I knew that,” he said.  He was so not going to make this easy on her, “I just don't know why yet.”

            “The experiment with the armbands was the reason you went on the mission to destroy Apophis's new ship.”

            He just smirked at her as he leaned back against his chair and put his hands behind his head. He so knew that, but what about the rest of it?

            “Hey, listen. What if you're wrong, and Carter and I aren't really, uh--

            “Za’tarcs?” Freya finished for him.

            “Za’tarcs,” he finished. _Why the hell did they have to give the damn things such a weird name?_

            His senses started tingling, giving him a warning when she crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed.

            “I do not believe that is possible,” she said seriously.

            “Swell.”

            She kept looking at him.  His senses were screaming at him to move, but he couldn’t figure out why.

            “Is there somethin' else?” he finally asked, leery of the answer.

            “I have not thanked you for saving my life on Vorash,” she said quietly, “when you saved me for a second time during the situation with Lieutenant Astor…”

            “No offense,” he said, trying to give it to her straight, “but I'd have done it for anyone.”

            She leaned forward and kissed him.

            He chalked it up to complete shock at the suddenness of her move as too why he didn’t stop her.  He dropped his feet off the desk and tried to gently push her away from him.

            “Uh,” he said, shaking his head just the slightest bit, “ ... what ya doin'?”

            “I originally came from a planet where the people were not afraid to show their affection for someone,” she said, “When we wanted to lo'machel--”

            “Excuse me?”

            “I believe you call it --”

            “Something else,” he interrupted.

            “Anise, my symbiote,” she said matter-of-factly, “is far more interested in Doctor Jackson on an intellectual level, but she would have to suffer.”

            “Look, there's so many reasons why this is wrong,” he said, every alarm in his body going off, “ . . . and . . . weird . . . and . . . wrong. . . . Did I mention wrong?”

            “Is it because I share my body with Anise?”

            “For starters.”

            “Do you not find me attractive?”

_Did he find her attractive?  Well, not in a Sam Carter way, but yeah…but the whole snake thing…well…it was definitely a turn-off._

            “Oh . . . you've. . . .”

            She leaned in and kissed him again.  He did the only thing he could.  He didn’t respond at all.

            “Hey ... I could blow here any minute.” he said when she finally moved away.

            “If I were the target, your Za'tarc programming would have triggered long ago.”

            “Good point,” he said. _Damn!  How was he going to get out of this situation?_

            “Is there someone else to whom you are loyal?”

            He wanted to scream _“YES! I’m in love with my second in command, bitch!”_ but he knew that wouldn’t go over well, and then there was the whole possibility of someone else hearing his declaration.

            “Th-th-th-that's not really the point here, is it?” he said weakly instead.

            “I sense you have been made uncomfortable by my offer.” she said, dropping her head.

            “No! No ... it's just …,” _damnit, just tell her the truth!_ “Well, yeah!”

            “I had heard that the humans of Earth had many inhibitions and stigmas surrounding intimacy,” she said in an accusing voice.

            “Yes,” he said, not giving her any reason to kiss him again, “yes, I've heard that too. There's also the matter of timing.”

            “I am still quite hopeful we will find a way to help both you and Major Carter.”

            _Carter.  Damn.  Be had to get Freya/Anise out of here before Sam found out that he’d had a visit.  He knew he had nothing to be ashamed of, but he didn’t want Sam to be hurt.  Besides, Freya was right --_

            “Then maybe you should be out doing that,” he said a little harshly, “whadda ya think?”

He stood up and headed her towards the door, touching her back to get her to turn without touching him again.  She turned toward him to speak again.

            “Once again I find myself feeling the need to apologize.”

            “Oh! No need!”  he said as he rapped on the window to get the SF’s attention.  She so needed to get out of there, “We're adults.”

The SF hadn’t responded.  He pounded on the window.  He was getting desperate to get her out of there.  If she had any more time with him, she might change her mind and try to change his.

            “I will make an effort to learn more about your customs so I will not make you so uncomfortable again,” she said contritely.

            The door finally opened, and O'Neill herded her out.

            “Yes, very good idea. Thank you. Bye.”

            As Freya left, he caught the SF's eye, then closed the door. He watched as she left the hallway, the stress of her visit slowly releasing as he scratched his nails down the door jamb.


	42. Chapter 42

_Dear Dad,_

_I’m not sure how much you’ve been told, but Colonel O’Neill and I have been determined as Za’tarcs.  We think it was when we had the An’to’nek armbands on.  The Colonel is determined that we are in no way Za’tarcs, but I’m scared, Dad.  It’s very possible that we could be._

_What bothers me is that I can’t help us this time.  General Hammond and Martouf are in agreement that the trigger will be the Summit.  But what if it’s not, Dad?  What if I have to be stuck in this holding cell indefinitely?  What if I never--_

 

_What if she never--what?_

            She looked up to see Martouf entering the room.

“Martouf.”

            “How are you?”

            “I was just writing a letter to my dad,” she smiled.

            “I have sent word to him. I'm sure he'll come as soon as he can.”

            “Thank you.”

            “I have come to present an option to you.”

            She shook her head, “Not what Freya tried on Lieutenant Astor.”

            “She thinks that the procedure failed because she stopped before it was finished.”

            “Because Astor went crazy.”

            “Freya thinks that the failsafe protecting the Za'tarc programming can be overcome if the procedure is given a fair chance to work.”

            “What's the rush?”

            “Freya has seen prior evidence to suggest that if a Za'tarc is prevented from achieving their objective--”

            “--and--”

            “ --if your objective is to target the President--”

            “You're saying I would try and kill myself.’

            He nodded.

            “Yes.”

            “Two days, right?” she said, glancing at him as he nodded in agreement, “I guess we wait and see.”

            “Or . . . you could go through with the procedure.”

            “Which could cause me to lose my mind anyway, just like Astor did.”

            “Yes.”

            “Or, the procedure could work and I could still end up with serious brain damage.”

            “Yes, I know,” he said with a gentle smile, “And not only do I not want to risk losing what you still carry of Jolinar, but . . . I've grown quite fond of you as well, Sam.”

            She looked up at him. _Oh, god!  She liked him, but with Jack as part of her life…well, it was definitely a complication.  Everything he was saying was complicated._   She smiled at him wanly, unsure how to respond.

            “It's all based on assumptions, right? I mean we don't know that the President is the target; we don't even know if I'll lose my mind because the summit's going on and I'm stuck in here.”

            “And we don't know for sure that you will suffer any ill effects from the procedure.”

            “Some choice.”

            She watched him for a second before she couldn’t stand the adoration and hope she saw in his face and looked away to her letter again.  If she got out of this alive, she and Martouf were going to need to have a talk.

            “Well,” he said with a smile, “I’ll let you get back to your letter to your father.”

            “Thank you,” she said without looking at him.

            She felt rather than heard him walk to the door.  As the SF opened it from the outside, she looked up at him again.

            “Please, Sam,” he said, the pleading as evident in his eyes as in his voice, “Please think about it.”

            He left without her answering.  The door closed and she turned back to the letter that she was now going to have to completely re-write.


	43. Chapter 43

 

            Jack laid on the bed, bored out of his mind.  All he wanted was to be near Sam. He wanted to listen to her voice explain some complicated problem in words he pretended he couldn’t understand.  Instead, he had Daniel explaining said problem in very basic terms and he still couldn’t completely grasp what he was trying to tell him.  He had to go through the de-Za'tarc-ing procedure?

            “Come again?” he said, looking out from under his arms.

            Daniel was pacing the room, his agitation with the situation evident.

            “Bottom line is there's a chance you could come out completely intact.”

            Jack sat up and looked at him.

            “Or not!” he said, every bit of sarcasm and irony he felt in his voice.

            “Or not,” Daniel repeated weakly.

            “What's Carter say?” he asked.  Sam probably had some idea brewing.

            “I don't know, Martouf is explaining it to her now.”

            “What would you do?” he asked earnestly.  He didn’t want to have to be the one to make this decision on his own.

            “I honestly don't know,” Daniel replied.

            Jack looked down at the yo-yo in his hands.  He didn’t want to think about having his brain fried right now.  He wanted to talk to his best friend about the fact that the pretty girl with the snake in her head had kissed him.

            “She made a pass at me,” he said without transition.

            “Sam?” Daniel said incredulously.  Jack could hear the thoughts running through Daniel’s head, _A: What’s that got to do with this situation and B: Why would she do that at the base?_

            “Anise, Freya, one of them,” Jack said in way of explanation.

            “Really?” Daniel said with some shock.

            “The host half.”

            “Uh . . .” Daniel started, raising his eyebrows into his hairline, “that's odd.”

            “You're telling me,“ Jack said, looking up at Daniel, “Odd timing too, don't ya think?”

            “Yes.”

            “Apparently, the snake likes you,” Jack said, turning his attention back to the yo-yo.  He looked back up, just a hint of a smirk on his face.  He wanted to see how Daniel would react to that one.

            “Really?”

            Jack dropped the yo-yo to straighten out the string.  He really didn’t know what else to say about the Freya situation and he really didn’t want to talk about the Za’tarc-fried-brain-thing either.

            “Yup, I think these are the Jack O'Neill moments I would probably miss the most.”

            Jack looked up at Daniel, having not really heard what he’d said.

“What?”

            “What?” Daniel responded.

            Jack just grinned at Daniel slightly.  He didn’t want this to go away, but things were looking like that might have to happen.


	44. Chapter 44

 

            Jack grimaced as Janet’s nurse brought in a cart full of medical equipment.

            “It's the only way we can be absolutely sure you won't try and hurt yourself.”

 _“_ No choice?”

            “No. You won't feel anything, it'll be like falling asleep.”

            “For how long?”

            “As long as it takes to find a treatment with better odds than the one we have available.”

            Jack looked in the direction Janet had.  Freya stood there looking a little put out by Janet’s statement.  He was hard pressed not to laugh out loud.

            “The President is due to arrive in less than an hour,” Daniel said bluntly.

            Teal’c came in the door.

“Come to say your goodbyes?” Jack said to him brightly.

            “If there's anything that you require, O'Neill--” Teal’c started

            “Another option,” he interrupted seriously.

            “There is still time to try the procedure,” Freya chirped in.

            He couldn’t believe he was even considering this, but he had to do something!

“You said if you could have done a proper autopsy on Astor, you might have been able to solve this thing,” he asked.

            ‘It would have provided much more information,” Freya responded.

            “I’ll do it.”

            “What?” Daniel asked in shock.

            “Hey,” he said, looking over at Daniel, “I've done the drugged-out, strapped-to-the-bed thing.”

“And if what happened to Astor happens to you?”

Jack looked at him for a moment.  It was something he had been thinking about for the last day and a half.

“Maybe it'll help Carter,” he said with a wan smile, “Her brain's worth a lot more than mine.”

Daniel just lowered his head.  Teal’c wouldn’t catch his eye.  When he looked at Janet, he saw a question in her eyes that he wasn’t ready to answer.  But he knew from Teal’c and Daniel’s reactions that they understood his logic.  Sam was more important and had more important things to continue doing in her life than anything he could ever do in his future.  He’d make the noble sacrifice, be the hero one last time…for Sam.

            “Well,” Janet said sadly, “let me get Sam settled and then we can start.”

            She made a motion and the nurse started moving the cart from the corner of the room.

            “I will prepare the machine,” Freya said as Janet walked out of the room, following closely on the smaller woman’s heels.

            “Jack,” Daniel said, standing up.

            “Daniel,” Jack said in response, also standing up.

            “Are you sure?”

            “No,” he replied honestly, “but better me than Sam.”

            “She’s not going to be happy,” Daniel said soberly.

            “She’ll understand some day,” Jack said sadly, “Help her understand, Daniel.”

            Daniel nodded.  He reached out his hand to give just a handshake goodbye.  Jack just bundled him up in a hug.

            “Take care of her, Space Monkey,” he whispered in Daniel’s ear.  He would have laughed if he hadn’t been hurting so much.

            “You’ll be fine, Jack,” he said as he pushed out of the hug, “I’ll go let her know what’s going on.”

            Jack thought he caught Daniel wiping a tear away as he turned and nearly fled out of the room.

            “Are you ready, O’Neill?” Teal’c said quietly.

            “As ready as I’ll ever be,” he said seriously, “T?”

            “Yes, O’Neill?”

            “I need to ask you a big favor.”

            “I was already planning on being by your side, O’Neill,” Teal’c said.

            “Good man,” Jack said with a smirk, “Let’s go.”


	45. Chapter 45

            “What?” Sam cried, “He can't!”

            “He's on his way down now,” Daniel said sadly.

            “Why is he doing this?” she asked, the tears growing in her eyes.

            “He said he'd rather take the risk instead of being put to sleep indefinitely,” Daniel said.

            “But Astor--” she said.  _How could he do this?  He had seen what Astor had done.  She couldn’t lose him to this…_

            “If it happens, he thinks Anise can use what she would learn to save you,” Janet said gently.

            Sam pushed between them and ran to the door.

            “Sam. . .” Daniel said, not really bothering to try to stop her.

            The SFs stopped her at the door.  She saw Jack out in the corridor guarded by two SFs.  Teal’c was leading the way down the hallway followed closely by Freya.

            “Colonel!” she yelled.  She couldn’t let him do this!  She could not let him sacrifice himself for her!

            He looked back at her.  She saw everything he felt in his eyes.  She saw everything that had not been said in that corridor on PX9-757, everything they had talked about later that night.  He was doing it to save her.  He turned away to continue down the hall.  She turned back to Janet and Daniel.

            “You have to stop him!”

            “It's his choice,” Daniel said.

            “Sam, please,” Janet said, the emotions choking her up a bit, “I have to do this.”

            She closed her eyes and saw Jack’s final declaration of love in his eyes in her head.  She walked between her two friends and sat on the bed.  She dropped her head in her hands.  She understood the why, but her heart was breaking every second that passed.

            “Come on, Sam,” Janet said softly, placing her hand on Sam’s shoulder.

            The nurse moved the equipment closer.  Sam slid herself back onto the bed and let Janet insert the needle.

            “This is going to sting a bit,” Janet said in her typical doctor voice.

            ‘ _More than a bit, Janet,’_ Sam thought, _‘I’m letting the man I love get his brain fried for me.’_

            As the medicine started to take effect, she fought it.  She knew something was wrong.  She was still sure they couldn’t be Za’tarcs.  Jack was going to have his brain mutilated so that hers wouldn’t be, but she knew deep down there was no reason for either of them to have the procedure done.

            She saw Jack walking down the SGC corridor again, looking back at her. Then she saw him beating the control panel on Apophis's ship.

            “Sir, there's no time!” she called out.

 

            “We may have to increase the dose,” Janet said to her nurse.  Sam was fighting the drugs.  She was only making it more difficult.  But Janet knew that if what she’d finally figured out was true, neither of them wanted to give the other up.

            “The C-4's gonna blow, you have to get out of here,” Sam mumbled.  She tried to rouse herself, “The machine is wrong!”

            Janet looked down at her.

            “You don't understand,” Sam persisted, her words slurring from the effects of the medication, “We lied. We didn't even know we were lying. Please.”

            Janet realized that the looks she’d seen, the words she’d heard spoken between Sam and Jack had been exactly what she’d hoped they weren’t.  Perhaps something had happened on the planet that wasn’t supposed to.  Perhaps they’d tried to hide it without knowing it.

            “Bring down her dose,” she said to the nurse, “I’m going to go stop them before they get started…I hope.”

            She took off down the hallway, hoping against hope that she’d make it there before they started.  She went up into the observation room and started pounding on the window before she even saw anything that was going on.  She grabbed the mike and turned it on.

            “Stop!”

            Freya turned to look at her and she couldn’t help but sigh.  She’d made it in time.  She watched as Sam stumbled into the room, straight towards O’Neill.  She headed down the steps towards them.

 

            “Carter, what's up?” he asked.

            “Could we have a moment alone please?” she asked.  She caught Freya’s eye and then Teal’c’s.  Teal’c gave her a small nod and then proceeded to usher everyone out of the room, “Thanks.”

            She stepped closer to the Colonel.

            “Carter, undo this,” he requested.  As she released him from the head brace, he asked, “What's goin' on?”

            “We're not Za’tarcs.”

            “How do you know?”

            “The machine thinks that we have false memories, but we don't,” she explained, “We were lying.”

            “I wasn't lying.”

            “Okay,” she said with a sigh, “You left something out.”

            “No, I didn't.”

            “Sir, when you wouldn't leave me,” she said softly, fully aware there were people not very far behind them, “are you sure there wasn't something else that you're not admitting?”

            “What are you talkin' about?”

            “Something neither one of us can admit,” she said, “given our working relationship, our military ranks.…”

            “Oh!” he said as if he hadn’t figured out until that moment, “Oh, that.”

            “Sir, we weren't telling the whole truth,” she said, “and that's why the machine thinks the memories are false.”

            “Really?”

            She wanted to shake her head at him.  She loved the man beyond distraction, but sometimes he could be so dense!  She looked him in the eye before she turned to look at the small gathering in the observation room.

            “Re-test him.”

 

            “Major Carter was trapped behind the force shield,” Freya continued only a few moments later.

            “That's right,” he said, the whole scene playing out in his head, “There were sounds.”

            “You did everything you could,” Freya asked.

            “Yes.”

            “You couldn't save her.”

            “No.”

            “But you still could have saved yourself.”

            “I guess,” he said sadly.

            “What happened next?”

            “Carter told me to leave, but I couldn’t,” he said softly, the scene still playing out, the emotions tearing him apart all over again.

            “What were you feeling?” Freya asked.

            “Like,” he hesitated, maybe they could get out of this without much damage to their working relationship, “someone who was about to die.”

            “Sir,” Sam said to him in that special way as she looked at him

            “I didn't leave,” he said to her and her alone, “because I'd have rather died myself . . . than lose Carter.”

            He watched the tears gather in her eyes.

            “Why?” asked Freya.

            “Because I care about her,” he said to Sam once again, “a lot more than I'm supposed to.”

            “You are not a Za'tarc,” Freya said to him.

            Jack looked up at Frasier and Teal’c in the observation room.  Teal’c was sitting stoically staring at him.  Jack could have sworn there was a tear in the big man’s eye, but he couldn’t be sure.  Janet was looking at him like he was a condemned man.  Sam had nearly the same look on her face, tempered by the love he knew was just under the surface.

            “Now,” she said to Freya, “re-test me.”

            They spent several moments getting Jack out of the chair and Sam into it.  Freya started right in.

            “What happened?”

            “I had been getting progressively hotter during the mission,” Sam said, “I didn’t realize until after it had happened, but it was the armband’s way of letting me know it was failing.”

            “What happened after you planted the C-4?”

            “We were heading out of the plant when the armband failed.  I ran into the force shield and it knocked me out for a moment.”

            “And Colonel O’Neill?”

            “When I woke up, I saw Colonel O'Neill unconscious on the other side of the force shield. I called his name, and he woke up.”

            “Then what?”

            “I realized that there was no way I was gonna get through that force shield. I told the Colonel to try and get out without me.”

            “To leave you behind?”

            “Yes. The timer on the C-4 was counting down. I knew that without the advantage of the armbands, it was gonna be tight getting back to the Stargate before the ship's power core exploded.”

            “What did Colonel O'Neill do?”

            “He wouldn’t leave,” Sam said.

            “What were you feeling?”

            “Upset that he was staying.”

            “Why?”

            “Because I couldn’t stand for him to sacrifice himself because of me.”

            “Carter,” She heard Jack say in about the same way she’d reminded him to be truthful.

            “I didn’t want him to sacrifice himself because I care about him so much more than I should.”

            “You are also not a Za'tarc.”

            “Thank you,” she said with a sigh.

            Jack came over and unfastened the restraints on the chair.  He stepped away from her the moment she was free.

            “Carter. . . .” he started.

            “Sir. . . .” she replied.

            She stood up to face him.

            “None of this has to leave this room,” she said softly.

            Jack turned slightly as the door behind him opened and Janet and Teal’c came in.

            “We're okay with that?” he asked, praying for her to say ‘no, sir, I want to discuss this further in private!’ but he knew it wouldn’t ever happen…not now.

            “Yes, sir,” she said softly, one tear glistening in her eye.

            He looked at her, wanting nothing more than to pull her into his arms and tell her it was far from over and everything was going to be okay, but Janet was beside him.

            “All right, so if they're not Za'tarcs then they're no threat to the President,” Janet said to Freya.

            “Oh, I have some questions for him,” Jack said with a smirk.

            “Every SGC personnel has been tested,” Freya replied, ignoring Jack’s comment, “Even the High Councilor and his personal guard were tested on Vorash before they came.”

            “Hey, what about you? You ever been tested on that thing?” Jack asked.

            “I have not been in any situations where I would vulnerable to the Goa'uld Za'tarc technology.

            “What about Martouf?” Sam asked Freya.

            Freya looked at her with a frightened look.  _‘Shit!’_ thought Jack.

            “It is possible,” she replied.  “He is the only one we have not tested.”

            “Okay, people,” Jack said, taking charge. “Teal’c, Carter and I need zat’s.  Janet, call the control room, give them a head’s up.  Let’s go, Carter.”

            He just hoped they’d get there in time.

 

            When they arrived, all hell had broken loose. Martouf stood in the center of the room shooting some kind of energy device at anything that moved.  Jack shot him in the leg.  Martouf turned toward Jack and shot. The shot hit the wall, and Daniel ducked as concrete shrapnel flew everywhere. Two secret service men behind the ramp started shooting at Martouf. He was hit several times but continued to stand as if he‘d been hit by paintballs, not bullets.  He raised his arm to aim at them.  They dove for cover as he fired, the shot hitting the ramp they hid behind.

            Teal'c and two SFs ran through the doorway on the other side of the room. Teal'c zat’ted Martouf even as Martouf shot at him. Teal'c and the SFs barely dodged the shot. Martouf finally fell to his knees.

            Carter ran into the embarkation room behind Teal'c with a zat' in her hand.

            “Hold your fire!” she yelled.

            Jack came out from behind the wall and trained his zat' on Martouf along with all the others who had been in the firefight.  Martouf was obviously struggling with himself to not blow himself up.

            “Samantha. . . .” Jack heard him whimper.

            He watched as Sam zat'ted him a second time, effectively killing him before he could blow his head off.  As Martouf collapsed, Sam ran to grab him, letting him down so he laid with his head in her lap. She pulled the ring device off his hand and held it up.

            “Drop them,” Jack ordered everyone in the room.  He was pleased to see that every gun and zat' dropped.

            Hammond and Freya hurried into the embarkation room.

            “Is everyone okay?” Hammond asked, “Per'sus?”

            “Yes,” Per‘sus responded, “Is the President all right?”

            “He's okay,” returned Hammond, “And I'm afraid this man isn't the President. The real President is still waiting for our signal in Air Force One. We had to be absolutely sure.”

            “I see,” Per‘sus said stiffly, “May that be the last time such a deception is required by either of us.”

            “I promise you,” Freya said to Sam, “his death will ultimately prove to be a noble sacrifice.”

            Sam nodded, the tears in her eyes evident.  He stepped in closer with Daniel and Teal’c.  SF’s and Secret Service men were closing in around them, but he, Daniel and Teal’c created a barrier.

            “Let’s let her have a moment, gentlemen,” he said softly.  The embarkation room slowly emptied as people filtered out.  Hammond, Freya and Per’sus were the last to leave.

            “I-I think I should go with them,” Daniel said to Jack softly.

            “Go,” he replied, not taking his eyes off Sam, “Teal’c and I got her.”

            He looked up and saw Janet and her team standing by with a gurney.  Freya stood behind them like a vulture waiting for its prey.  His stomach turned at that thought, but he knew she wanted to find out the information that would prevent the next Za'tarc from striking.

            He knelt down next to Sam.

            “Carter,” he said softly.

            She looked up at him, her eyes full of unshed tears.

            “I had to kill him, sir,” she said sadly.

            “Yes, Carter,” he replied.

            “He loved me,” she said, the tears falling down her face as she looked back down at Martouf‘s still form, “He loved me and I had to kill him.”

            Jack was taken back by that.  Was she hurt more by the fact that she had to kill him or that he had loved her?  Had she felt something for him as well?

            “Carter,” he said softly, “Janet and Freya want to start an autopsy right away.  You need to let him go.”

            She looked back up at him.  The shock was starting to set in.  He looked back at Teal’c for some help.  Teal’c immediately stepped in and gently removed Martouf’s body from her arms.

            “Let me take him, MajorCarter,” he said softly, “I’ll keep watch over him.”

            “Thank you, Teal’c,” she said disjointedly as Jack helped her up from the floor.

            Jack led her from the room in the opposite direction of the gurney.  She followed his lead without hesitation.  


End file.
